Short Fiction Edgar Allan Poe (books for men to read .txt) đ
- Author: Edgar Allan Poe
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As soon as I sufficiently recovered my senses to comprehend the terrific predicament in which I stood or rather hung, I exerted all the power of my lungs to make that predicament known to the aeronaut overhead. But for a long time I exerted myself in vain. Either the fool could not, or the villain would not perceive me. Meantime the machine rapidly soared, while my strength even more rapidly failed. I was soon upon the point of resigning myself to my fate, and dropping quietly into the sea, when my spirits were suddenly revived by hearing a hollow voice from above, which seemed to be lazily humming an opera air. Looking up, I perceived the Angel of the Odd. He was leaning with his arms folded, over the rim of the car; and with a pipe in his mouth, at which he puffed leisurely, seemed to be upon excellent terms with himself and the universe. I was too much exhausted to speak, so I merely regarded him with an imploring air.
For several minutes, although he looked me full in the face, he said nothing. At length removing carefully his meerschaum from the right to the left corner of his mouth, he condescended to speak.
âWho pe you,â he asked, âund what der teuffel you pe do dare?â
To this piece of impudence, cruelty and affectation, I could reply only by ejaculating the monosyllable âHelp!â
âElp!â echoed the ruffianâ âânot I. Dare iz te pottleâ âelp yourself, und pe tamâd!â
With these words he let fall a heavy bottle of Kirschenwasser which, dropping precisely upon the crown of my head, caused me to imagine that my brains were entirely knocked out. Impressed with this idea, I was about to relinquish my hold and give up the ghost with a good grace, when I was arrested by the cry of the Angel, who bade me hold on.
âOld on!â he said; âdonât pe in te urryâ âdonât. Will you pe take de odder pottle, or ave you pe got zober yet and come to your zenzes?â
I made haste, hereupon, to nod my head twiceâ âonce in the negative, meaning thereby that I would prefer not taking the other bottle at presentâ âand once in the affirmative, intending thus to imply that I was sober and had positively come to my senses. By these means I somewhat softened the Angel.
âUnd you pelief, ten,â he inquired, âat te last? You pelief, ten, in te possibilty of te odd?â
I again nodded my head in assent.
âUnd you ave pelief in me, te Angel of te Odd?â
I nodded again.
âUnd you acknowledge tat you pe te blind dronk and te vool?â
I nodded once more.
âPut your right hand into your left hand preeches pocket, ten, in token ov your vull zubmizzion unto te Angel ov te Odd.â
This thing, for very obvious reasons, I found it quite impossible to do. In the first place, my left arm had been broken in my fall from the ladder, and, therefore, had I let go my hold with the right hand, I must have let go altogether. In the second place, I could have no breeches until I came across the crow. I was therefore obliged, much to my regret, to shake my head in the negativeâ âintending thus to give the Angel to understand that I found it inconvenient, just at that moment, to comply with his very reasonable demand! No sooner, however, had I ceased shaking my head thanâ â
âGo to der teuffel, ten!â roared the Angel of the Odd.
In pronouncing these words, he drew a sharp knife across the guide-rope by which I was suspended, and as we then happened to be precisely over my own house, (which, during my peregrinations, had been handsomely rebuilt,) it so occurred that I tumbled headlong down the ample chimney and alit upon the dining-room hearth.
Upon coming to my senses, (for the fall had very thoroughly stunned me,) I found it about four oâclock in the morning. I lay outstretched where I had fallen from the balloon. My head grovelled in the ashes of an extinguished fire, while my feet reposed upon the wreck of a small table, overthrown, and amid the fragments of a miscellaneous dessert, intermingled with a newspaper, some broken glass and shattered bottles, and an empty jug of the Schiedam Kirschenwasser. Thus revenged himself the Angel of the Odd.
Thou Art the ManI will now play the Oedipus to the Rattleborough enigma. I will expound to youâ âas I alone canâ âthe secret of the enginery that effected the Rattleborough miracleâ âthe one, the true, the admitted, the undisputed, the indisputable miracle, which put a definite end to infidelity among the Rattleburghers, and converted to the orthodoxy of the grandames all the carnal-minded who had ventured to be sceptical before.
This eventâ âwhich I should be sorry to discuss in a tone of unsuitable levityâ âoccurred in the summer of 18â â. Mr. Barnabas Shuttleworthyâ âone of the wealthiest and most respectable citizens of the boroughâ âhad been missing for several days under circumstances which gave rise to suspicion of foul play. Mr. Shuttleworthy had set out from Rattleborough very early one Saturday morning, on horseback, with the
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