Shifters: A Samantha Reece Mystery Book 1 Jaime Johnesee (best reads of all time txt) 📖

got into my car. I had to wait for the other agent to arrive before I could go anywhere, but I didn't want to wait in Ben's place. I was uncomfortable there.

I'd been surprised at how crushed he had been. I decided that his behavior from that point on would determine exactly how much of a fuck I’d give. If the way he acted today was all for show, he'd get nowhere with me. If this was real then maybe one day I could forgive him.

Especially since he had to be feverish to infect me. Just having the virus wasn't enough. The virus has to be active (we can tell because we get a high fever) when the bite occurs for the person to become a shifter.

People with a fever can have a hard time distinguishing right from wrong. I know there have been times when the virus burns inside me that I'm not exactly aware of my actions. Like those days I wake up with bunny fur plastered to the inside of my mouth.

While I don't normally chase, kill, and consume the little guys, my jaguar can't seem to resist. Luckily, my property came full of wild bunnies. They found a way through the wall; I think they burrowed under it. I don't eat many, anyway; I tend not to consume more than two a month, except during periods of high stress.

Considering I find nests of dozens in my backyard, I figure these are fairly decent odds. I'm sure there are some who would condemn me for my bunny biting, but I assure you I only do it when the virus is raging and my jaguar gets more control of me than I do. I have to let her out to play sometimes, especially since rabbit tastes so yummy. She just gets so tired of being caged in my head.

It sounds funny, but the truth is that's what is happening. I had a psych evaluation done after that first shift. I could hear what my jaguar was thinking. I was sure I was going mad, but, as I said, having a spirit animal is part of the whole transition. I was found to be sane and was told to try and hang out with other shifters.

They'd given me the number for a support group when they told me I was a were and it was at this point that I used it. Knowing there were other people going through this, other shifters with these roiling feelings of terror and embarrassment, somehow made me feel less of a freak.

It helped being around the others. It helped hearing their stories and knowing that I wasn’t alone. What I'd really needed at the time was my sire. I'd heard all these stories where the new shifter had someone to guide them through the process and how helpful that was for them. I'd had no such help and a small part of me felt bitter for it, as if I resented all those people for being able to have help through the transition because I had to do it all by myself.

I was alone that first shift. Terrified and lost, I had nobody to tell me that it was going to be okay or to calm down. I'd been stuck in my apartment and had been feeling trapped and scared. I took it all out on my couch and throw pillows. I tore them the hell up. I also got stuck in a damned tree and had to wait for the virus to burn off before I could climb down. I don’t recommend naked tree climbing, splinters for days.

If I'd had someone with me they might have warned me about that. I'd gone through my whole life alone. I'd not been used to any manner of support so it wasn't too big of a stretch for me not to have anyone as a shifter, either. I’m just sayin’, when the decision to make me a shifter wasn't even mine, a little support would have been nice.

I understand the guy's dad died and that was pretty awful. It explains why he wasn't there for me in the beginning, but why didn't he approach me afterwards? I know he said he came back and saw me happy so he left, but I feel like that's a bit of a copout. Or maybe I just felt like he deserved a hard time for everything he put me through.

As I sat in my car I thought about Ben and the things he'd told me. I replayed our conversations back through my mind and found nothing that I said which I would change. I’d been honest with him and told him exactly how I saw things.

I felt like he’d been honest with me, too, at least for the most part, and I get that he didn't see his act of infecting me the way I did. Once he understood exactly what it felt like for me, he’d been very apologetic and even looked stricken by his actions. Did that make him an okay human being or more of a prick for not thinking of it earlier? I wasn't certain. I did know that I needed to speak with him some more. It'd be nice to know who sired him and how his transition was. I'm guessing it went okay for him to be so enamored of the were life.

He loved his jaguar and he loved being who he was. In his mind he'd given me a gift. I was glad he understood I didn't see it as such. Even though I did have to admit that becoming a shifter had changed my life for the better. I had Quinn, Kelly, and Angelique in my life. I had, as annoying as he could be, Chad. I had created a whole support network that I didn't have when I was a human.

I was happier now than I had ever been, but still! That didn't give him the right to bite