Eco: Foucalt's Pendulum eco foucault (highly illogical behavior txt) 📖

the scent of the cedarsof Lebanon? You can see why there was the popular saying: ¡¥Todrink and blaspheme like a Templar.' It's like a chaplain in thetrenches who drinks brandy and curses with his illiterate soldiers.The Templar seal depicts the knights always in pairs, one ridingbehind the other on the same horse. Now why should that be? Therule allows them three horses each. It must have been one ofBernard's ideas, an attempt to symbolize poverty or perhaps theirdouble role as monks and knights. But you can imagine what peoplemust have said about it, two men galloping, one with his asspressed against the other's belly. But they may have beenslandered..."

"They certainly wereasking for it," Belbo interrupted. "That Saint Bernard wasn'tstupid, was he?"

"Stupid, no. But he wasa monk himself, and in those days monks had their own strange ideasabout the body...I said before that maybe I was making this soundtoo much like a Western, but now that I think about it...Listen towhat Bernard has to say about his beloved knights. I brought thisquotation with me, because it's worth hearing: ¡¥They shun andabhor mimes, magicians, and jugglers, lewd songs and buffoonery;they cut their hair short, for the apostle says it is shameful fora man to groom his hair. Never are they seen coiffed, and rarelywashed. Their beards are unkempt, caked with dust and sweat fromtheir armor and the heat.' "

"I would hate to sleepin their quarters," Belbo said.

"It's always beencharacteristic of the hermit," Diotallevi declared, "to cultivate ahealthy filth, to humiliate his body. Wasn't it Saint Macarius wholived on a column and picked up the worms that dropped from him andput them back on his body so that they, who were also God'screatures, might enjoy their banquet?''

"The stylite was SaintSimeon," Belbo said, "and I think he stayed on that column so hecould spit on the people who walked below.''

"How I detest thecynicism of the Enlightenment," Diotallevi said. "In any case,whether Macarius or Simeon, I'm sure there was a stylite withworms, but of course I'm no authority on the subject, since thefollies of the gentiles don't interest me."

"Whereas your Geronarabbis were spick and span," Belbo said.

"They lived in squalorbecause you gentiles kept them in the ghetto. The Templars, on theother hand, chose to be squalid."

"Let's not gooverboard," I said. "Have you ever seen a platoon of recruits aftera day's march? The reason I'm telling you all this is to help youunderstand the dilemma of the Templar. He had to be mystic,ascetic, no eating, drinking, or screwing, but at the same time heroamed the desert cutting off the heads of Christ's enemies; themore heads he cut off, the more points he earned for paradise. Hestank, got hairier every day, and then Bernard insisted that afterconquering a city he couldn't jump on top of some young girl¡Xorold hag, for that matter. And on moonless nights, when the simoomblew over the desert, he couldn't seek any favors from his favoritefellow-soldier. How can you be a monk and a swordsman at the sametime, disemboweling people one minute and reciting Ave Marias thenext? They tell you not to look even your female cousin in the eye,but when you enter a city, after days of siege, the other Crusadershump the caliph's wife before your very eyes, and marvelousShulammite women undo their bodices and say, Take me, Take me, butspare my life...No, the Templar had to stay hard, recitingcompline, hairy and stinking, as Saint Bernard wanted him to. Forthat matter, if you just read the retraits..."

"The what?"

"The statutes of theorder, drawn up rather late, after the order had put on its robeand slippers, so to speak. There's nothing worse than an army whenthe war is over. At one point, for instance, brawling is forbidden,it's forbidden to wound a Christian for revenge, forbidden to havecommerce with women, forbidden to slander a brother. A Templarcould not allow a slave to escape, lose his temper and threaten todefect to the Saracens, let a horse wander off, give away anyanimal except a dog or cat, be absent without leave, break themaster's seal, go out of the barracks at night, lend the order'smoney without authorization, or throw his habit on the ground inanger."

"From prohibitions youcan tell what people normally do," Belbo said. "It's a way ofdrawing a picture of daily life."

"Let's see," Diotallevisaid. "A Templar, annoyed at something the brothers said or didthat evening, rides out at night without leave, accompanied by alittle Saracen boy and with three capons hanging from his saddle.He goes to a girl of loose morals and, bestowing the capons uponher, engages in illicit intercourse. During this debauchery, theSaracen boy rides off with the horse, and our Templar, even moresweat-covered and dirty than usual, crawls home with his tailbetween his legs. In an attempt to pass unnoticed, he slips some ofthe Temple's money to the Jewish usurer, who is waiting like avulture on its perch..."

"Thou hast said it,Caiaphas," Belbo remarked.

"We're talking instereotypes here. With the money the Templar tries to recover, ifnot the Saracen boy, at least a semblance of a horse. But a fellowTemplar hears about the misadventure, and one night¡Xwe know thatenvy is endemic in such communities¡Xhe drops some heavy hints atsupper, when the meat is served. The captain grows suspicious, thesuspect stammers, flushes, then draws his dagger and flings himselfon his brother..."

"On the treacheroussycophant," Belbo corrected him.

"On the treacheroussycophant, good. He flings himself on the wretch, slashing hisface. The wretch draws his sword, an unseemly brawl ensues, thecaptain with the flat of his sword tries to restore order, theother brothers snigger..."

"Drinking andblaspheming like Templars," Belbo said.

"God's bodkin, in God'sname, ¡¥swounds, God's blood," I said.

"Our hero is enraged,and what does a Templar do when he's enraged?"

"He turns purple," Belbosuggested.

"Right. He turns purple,tears off his habit, and throws it on the ground."

"How about: ¡¥You canshove this tunic, you can shove your goddamn temple!' " Isuggested. "And then he breaks the seal with his sword andannounces that he's joining the Saracens."

"Violating at leasteight precepts at one blow."

"Anyway," I said,driving home my point, "imagine a man like that, who says he'sjoining the Saracens.