Bleak House Charles Dickens (classic books to read .TXT) đ
- Author: Charles Dickens
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He was writing at a table, with a great confusion of clothes, tin cases, books, boots, brushes, and portmanteaus strewn all about the floor. He was only half dressedâ âin plain clothes, I observed, not in uniformâ âand his hair was unbrushed, and he looked as wild as his room. All this I saw after he had heartily welcomed me and I was seated near him, for he started upon hearing my voice and caught me in his arms in a moment. Dear Richard! He was ever the same to me. Down toâ âah, poor poor fellow!â âto the end, he never received me but with something of his old merry boyish manner.
âGood heaven, my dear little woman,â said he, âhow do you come here? Who could have thought of seeing you! Nothing the matter? Ada is well?â
âQuite well. Lovelier than ever, Richard!â
âAh!â he said, leaning back in his chair. âMy poor cousin! I was writing to you, Esther.â
So worn and haggard as he looked, even in the fullness of his handsome youth, leaning back in his chair and crushing the closely written sheet of paper in his hand!
âHave you been at the trouble of writing all that, and am I not to read it after all?â I asked.
âOh, my dear,â he returned with a hopeless gesture. âYou may read it in the whole room. It is all over here.â
I mildly entreated him not to be despondent. I told him that I had heard by chance of his being in difficulty and had come to consult with him what could best be done.
âLike you, Esther, but useless, and so not like you!â said he with a melancholy smile. âI am away on leave this dayâ âshould have been gone in another hourâ âand that is to smooth it over, for my selling out. Well! Let bygones be bygones. So this calling follows the rest. I only want to have been in the church to have made the round of all the professions.â
âRichard,â I urged, âit is not so hopeless as that?â
âEsther,â he returned, âit is indeed. I am just so near disgrace as that those who are put in authority over me (as the catechism goes) would far rather be without me than with me. And they are right. Apart from debts and duns and all such drawbacks, I am not fit even for this employment. I have no care, no mind, no heart, no soul, but for one thing. Why, if this bubble hadnât broken now,â he said, tearing the letter he had written into fragments and moodily casting them away, by driblets, âhow could I have gone abroad? I must have been ordered abroad, but how could I have gone? How could I, with my experience of that thing, trust even Vholes unless I was at his back!â
I suppose he knew by my face what I was about to say, but he caught the hand I had laid upon his arm and touched my own lips with it to prevent me from going on.
âNo, Dame Durden! Two subjects I forbidâ âmust forbid. The first is John Jarndyce. The second, you know what. Call it madness, and I tell you I canât help it now, and canât be sane. But it is no such thing; it is the one object I have to pursue. It is a pity I ever was prevailed upon to turn out of my road for any other. It would be wisdom to abandon it now, after all the time, anxiety, and pains I have bestowed upon it! Oh, yes, true wisdom. It would be very agreeable, too, to some people; but I never will.â
He was in that mood in which I thought it best not to increase his determination (if anything could increase it) by opposing him. I took out Adaâs letter and put it in his hand.
âAm I to read it now?â he asked.
As I told him yes, he laid it on the table, and resting his head upon his hand, began. He had not read far when he rested his head upon his two handsâ âto hide his face from me. In a little while he rose as if the light were bad and went to the window. He finished reading it there, with his back towards me, and after he had finished and had folded it up, stood there for some minutes with the letter in his hand. When he came back to his chair, I saw tears in his eyes.
âOf course, Esther, you know what she says here?â He spoke in a softened voice and kissed the letter as he asked me.
âYes, Richard.â
âOffers me,â he went on, tapping his foot upon the floor, âthe little inheritance she is certain of so soonâ âjust as little and as much as I have wastedâ âand begs and prays me to take it, set myself right with it, and remain in the service.â
âI know your welfare to be the dearest wish of her heart,â said I. âAnd, oh, my dear Richard, Adaâs is a noble heart.â
âI am sure it is. Iâ âI wish I was dead!â
He went back to the window, and laying his arm across it, leaned his head down on his arm. It greatly affected me to see him so, but I hoped he might become more yielding, and I remained silent. My experience was very limited; I was not at all prepared for his rousing himself out of this emotion to a new sense of injury.
âAnd this is the heart that the same John Jarndyce, who is not otherwise to be mentioned between us, stepped in to estrange from me,â said he indignantly. âAnd the dear girl makes me this generous offer from under the same John Jarndyceâs roof, and with the same John Jarndyceâs gracious consent and connivance, I dare say, as a new means of buying me off.â
âRichard!â I cried out, rising hastily. âI will not hear you say such shameful words!â I was very angry with him indeed, for the first time in my life, but it
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