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such extreme panic attacks, my dad quit asking. I was afraid to skate, and such fear galled him. He found me lacking in courage and athletic ability.”

“Wow, that’s brutal. I don’t know if I’d skate after that either.”

“Well, Dad doesn’t feel that way.”

“Your dad’s like mine. They’re tough men who see skating ability as a measure of worth.”

“But you skate?” It was a question, somewhat.

Kaitlyn only shrugged. “Something I’ve noticed about you. You’re a pleaser. You become the person you believe others want you to be. Why don’t you please yourself for once? Be who you want to be?”

“I am.”

“You are? You altered your appearance to be more like the type that Patrick goes for culminating in the blonde hair and skanky clothes.”

I sat up straight as if she’d slapped me. “I did not.”

“What’s your natural hair color?”

“Light brown.”

“Why don’t you embrace you, instead of copying the women you see hanging all over him?”

I didn’t have an answer to that.

“Figure out what you want. Until then, steer clear of Paxton. That would be the kind thing to do.”

Imagine a lecture from Kaitlyn on kindness? Wonders never ceased.

Her words rang true when it came to Paxton.

I had to make some decisions, and not just about which twin I preferred.

I had to decide who I was.

Myself or someone else entirely.

16

Goodness

Paxton

Naomi and I had reached a comfortable place. We weren’t as close as we once had been, but we were getting along, and she was always ready with an encouraging word when it came to my game, or lack of. The chemistry didn’t go away, but I was dealing with it as best I could.

I continued to struggle, pissing off my brother on more than one occasion. I might be getting discouraged, but I wasn’t a quitter. Coach Garf believed in me, and I wouldn’t let him down regardless of the consequences.

Today after practice, Patrick and I had a heated exchange of words in the locker room with the entire team as our witnesses. We’d never done that before. When he attacked, I unleashed my frustration on him and fought back. Usually, I walked away from our arguments. Not this time. Tate, Jonah, and Lex had to get between us.

After nearly coming to blows with my twin, my first inclination was to crawl off and lick my wounds. Not this time. Damn it. I joined the guys at the Biscuit for drinks. I’d prefer hiding out in the library, but that wasn’t me. Patrick’s presence wouldn’t prevent me from doing the things I wanted to do.

Lex and Kaitlyn saved me a seat and waved me over when I walked in. The team went out of their way to pretend nothing had happened this afternoon, but we all knew differently. Patrick’s and my differences were beginning to affect the team.

My brother sauntered in a few minutes later, looking as if he owned the place, which he somewhat did. We locked eyes, and he narrowed his gaze. Giving me the cold shoulder, he breezed past and commandeered a seat at the other end of the table from one of the freshmen.

I blew out a long breath of relief. We needed space from each other. It was hard enough living in the same apartment. I hated this wall between us, but I was at a loss when it came to fixing it. I tried to put myself in his shoes. He’d always been the star of any team we’d been on, the coaches’ favorite, and the go-to guy for the puck. He was struggling with the changes I’d made to my play, not just because they were affecting his game but because Patrick had been perfectly happy with the way things were. He would see no reason to change.

I, on the other hand, wanted to get out of this box I’d been locked into for all these years. I needed to do so if my pro career was going anywhere.

I considered explaining what was going on, but a gut feeling he’d balk or worse held me back. I wished he’d see what had been going on all these years and understand what being in a support role had done to me.

And I was missing Naomi horribly. I wanted things I couldn’t have with her, or so it appeared, though I’d seen no sign of her dating my brother. Given our current situation, surely he’d have rubbed that in my face.

I glanced at my phone to see if I had any text messages from her. Nothing. I hadn’t texted her either since yesterday, even though it was killing me not to do so. Appearing desperate and needy was not a good look.

“Hey, miss me?”

My head shot up at the sound of the voice from my dreams. I couldn’t stop the huge smile spreading across my face. She’d answered my prayers like an angel from above.

Naomi settled into the empty chair next to me, rather than moving to the end of the table where my bro was.

I did a double take. She’d changed her look. She wasn’t a blonde anymore, and her makeup was more understated. In fact, she looked like the girl I’d first met our freshman year. I liked this version of her a whole lot better, though any version of Naomi was hot AF. This woman was the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen with her casual Moo U hockey T-shirt and jeans. Her caramel hair cascaded down her back in waves of pure silk and beckoned to me to bury my hands in all that sensual luxury, tilt her head back, and kiss the hell out of her.

“Pax,” she nudged in that breathless voice which reminded me of our night together.

“Hi,” I said. “You look great. I like the change.”

“I’m going back to my natural color, and I’m leaving it wavy instead of straight.”

“I like it. A lot.”

She ducked her head almost as if embarrassed by my comments. When she lifted her gaze and met mine, she smiled shyly. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Patrick’s

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