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Eater. They know that the newbie’s a monkey and will keep jumping, trying to prove he’s super cool and can own everyone with his imba sword. The Pandas will prepare for that; they’ll take Black Weapons, wear demonic armor, and farm the newbie to their hearts’ content.

Time to stop being a newbie, Cat.

The best solution in this situation was to contact the admins straight away and get out of there, ignoring the Pandas’ taunts. The result of my mistake was obvious: three deaths, the loss of almost twenty thousand XP, four pieces of equipment, two hundred gold, and half-broken gear. I was such a monkey.

I looked over the dungeon, trying to memorize everything as well as I could: the resp point, full of ghosts, a spiked cage, the menacing dark armor of laughing mercs. I swore to myself that I would return, and when I did that, they would have nothing to laugh about. I didn’t know when or how, but I would be back. It was a debt I had to repay a thousand fold.

I summoned the virtual interface, found the Customer Support option, and called my personal manager. It was past 4 AM. Was she still working?

Akiru answered in thirty minutes.

I am really sorry that you’ve found yourself in such a predicament. Yes, I’ll send your ticket to customer support right now. Yes, you’ll be transported in half an hour, and your friend, too. To Eyre? All right, as you wish. Why aren’t we doing anything about this oversight? I understand your indignation. You aren’t the first. To be honest, we’re showered with complaints about Pandorum’s actions. No, we can’t. The corporation’s currently involved in legal proceedings with their lawyers, and until a decision is made, we cannot remove the respawn point from the Astral Plane.

So that’s how it was. I had seen forum messages saying that the Pandas had screwed the admins via the Gaming Law: allegedly, they weren’t violating the game’s mechanics and User Agreement. Both sides had lawyered up, there was lots of money at stake. A murky story, like it usually is when it comes to legal stuff.

At 5 AM, Panther and I finally got pulled out. I don’t know how; we woke up near the main gate of Eyre. Delighted, I breathed in the moist morning air. Thick fog swirled around mossy walls, and guards called to one another on the city towers, their voices coarse.

“What’s this place?” Panther asked in surprise. “Dorsa? Eyre? Huh. Might as well spend some time here, I guess.”

Then he turned to me.

“Do you know where I could stay?”

Chapter 5

AFTER RETURNING to Eyre, I passed out in my room, then climbed out of the capsule and crawled to bed to get some sleep. Watchers and Olaf, just you wait...

In the morning, I strolled around the empty apartment, playing a conductor while listening to Mozart on the speakers, a cup of coffee in hand. I pondered the last night’s events. So true fire wasn’t the ultimate weapon. The Panda’s weapons and armor had withstood the hits of my flaming blade, just like Tao’s black sword. Once more, I sorted out the information I had. Black Weapons, the demonic items with no durability, were legendaries rewarded for epic quests in the Netherworlds, given by the demon lords, blah blah blah... I needed to shake down the Magister; I couldn’t understand why my 3500 true fire damage couldn’t pierce through this stuff.

My musings were interrupted by an incoming call via Courier; Flame was contacting me from Sphere, asking when I would be back. That would be right now, as soon as I finished my coffee.

I hadn’t seen my friends, Valkyrie and Flame, I mean, Ivan and Maria, since the battle of Eyre, even if we did live in the same inn. Upon descending a creaky staircase, I was surprised to see Panther sitting at the same table as they. I had shown him that place only yesterday, and he had already gotten to know the other residents? That guy was fast.

“I see you’re already acquainted,” I said as I nodded to my friends, shaking the dwarf’s hand, broad as a barn door, and kissing Maria on the tattooed cheek she promptly presented.

“Not just acquainted, we’ve already completed a few quests together!” the dwarf replied in a booming voice. “After you disappeared, we had nobody to run with, and we need some reputation!”

“So, you’ve made up your mind to stay here?” I asked Panther. “Don’t you want to go back to the Astral Plane?”

“Nope. I ended up there by accident. It’s a long story.”

Captain Panther looked like an ordinary guy. He was human and wore some expensive armor under a black surcoat with a red star. His speech was grammatically correct; his words selected carefully. He seemed like a decent sort, but his pale yellow nickname marred the impression, indicating his many run-ins with the law.

“It’s hard to make it in the Netherworld with any other karma.” Panther smirked, having noticed my stare. “Whatever, it won’t be long till I get clean if I get involved with carebears.”

He gave Flame a friendly poke in the ribs.

“We’re no carebears!” the dwarf said, indignant. “We’re actually about to join the Watchers!”

“The Watchers? The local princelings? Too bad, I was going to invite you to my clan. I’m assembling a team, we’ll have blackjack and...other stuff,” Panther said and gave us a surreptitious wink.

“You mean PK?” I asked. “Watch out, the rules are strict here. You’ll be crushed in an instant.”

“Cat, that’s not my first rodeo. I have my own opinion on redistributing wealth, a moral code, so to say. I’m no Robin Hood, of course, but I won’t recruit just anyone.”

While he was talking, Captain’s glare bored a hole right through me. He was evaluating me, analyzing everything, and compartmentalizing it. At the same time,

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