Recovery Nicole Dykes (best motivational books to read TXT) 📖

mean? I’m listening to Janice talk about giving blowjobs in exchange for crack.” I keep my voice low, knowing it’s rude to talk during a meeting.

He rolls his eyes at me, his eyes on the front of the crowded room, but he’s still speaking to me. “You seem less cheery than normal.”

I quirk one eyebrow, keeping my arms folded over my chest and eyes on the front as well. “Cheery?”

He lets out a small laugh. “Compared to me, you’re cheery, always trying to get me to see the bright side of things. But today, it’s like you don’t have it in you.”

That’s because I don’t. Seeing her falling apart and not being able to help her was infuriating. “We all have off days.”

“Are you close to a relapse? Because I don’t think I can handle that right now.”

I scoff and with a huff, I drop my arms to the side. “No. I’m not. I guess I’m having girl problems.”

Jesus, I want to punch myself for saying that out loud.

“Girl problems? What, are you in high school?”

Janice steps out from behind the podium and walks back to her folding chair while the guy who runs the meeting heads to the front. I lean a little closer to Spence. “No. Woman problems. What the fuck ever. She won’t talk to me.”

The kid looks confused now. “You want to talk?”

I almost laugh but keep it contained. “To her. Yes.”

He shakes his head. “Are you fucking her?”

It feels dirty talking about Mya this way, but that’s all she wants from me. A fuck here and there to keep her satisfied until she moves on. “Yeah.”

“So what the fuck is the problem?”

The meeting ends, and we stand as the room starts to clear out. “I told you. She won’t talk to me.”

“That does not sound like a problem at all, man. That sounds like the dream. Is she ugly?”

I groan at the kid’s question as we walk out of the church basement where the meeting was held. “No. Far from ugly.”

“Okay, man. Then I just don’t get it. You want to date? Marry her? You want her to have your bigass babies?”

None of that sounds bad at all with Mya, but I know Spencer isn’t going to get that. I hardly understand it myself. “I just want to help her.”

“Ah . . .” He strides toward his car, flashing his middle finger at a photographer who’s pointing his camera at him while hiding behind a tree. I walk with him while he acts like he now understands. “So, you want to fix her. Now that makes sense.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

He laughs and hits the unlock button on his car. “You like to fix things. So, this girl is broken?”

“I don’t know anyone who isn’t a little bit broken. Me included.”

He nods his head, leaning back against his Porsche. “Exactly. You think you’re full of all this wisdom and shit, but I have you figured out, Jase. The way you fix yourself is you focus on others.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help.”

“No, there’s not. But it was freaking me out, hearing you all attached and shit. Now at least, it makes a little sense.”

Fucking Spence. He sounds like Finn now. “Look, asshole. I’ve had girlfriends before. I’m not strictly casual.”

“That, I definitely don’t get.” He runs his fingers through his hair, and I laugh.

“You’re young.”

“So are you. Far too young to be hooked on one pussy.”

“Let’s talk about you.” I lean against his fancy car, standing next to him.

Now he groans, “No.”

I laugh, “Still having daddy issues?”

“He wants me to move away, somewhere less populated. I think if he could convince a nice Amish family to take me in, he fucking would. Anything to keep me out of his hair.”

An image of this spoiled kid—who’s used to getting the newest iPhone before it’s available to regular people and eating with a silver spoon every night—dressed in all black with no technology comes to mind, and it is not pretty. Still, I laugh, “now that would be fun.”

“He’d fucking do it.”

“You’ll be an adult soon, kid.”

“It doesn’t matter. If I want him to pay for college, I have to do what he wants.”

“Stay sober.”

“Be perfect.”

I feel his sadness and hate how miserable this kid is. “You want to come over for dinner Friday?”

“With Finn?”

I laugh, almost forgetting the two don’t get along. Like Mya, Finn doesn’t have much tolerance for addicts, but the fact that Spencer is a spoiled rich kid makes it even worse. “I’ll tell him to behave.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I’d rather get my dick wet. A nice girl from school invited me to a party.”

I doubt she’s that nice. Spence doesn’t do nice. “Make sure you wrap that dick.”

“Yes, Dad,” he mocks as we move away from his door, and he pulls it open. He climbs in but doesn’t shut the door yet. “Just give her time. Talking isn’t everyone’s strong suit, but you’re really fucking good at wearing people down.”

I smile and shut the door for him, giving him a nod and wave. He speeds out of the parking spot, and I walk to my own car.

Mya needs space. It’s against everything in me, but I know I need to let her come to me with this one.

I hate the distance I feel with Jase now. I know it’s my fault. But I still despise it. After his body pulls away from mine, both of us coming down from release, the distance is even more apparent.

He lies on his back next to me, looking up at the ceiling.

“Jase,” my voice is quiet. Scared.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

He laughs softly, rolling to his side, and I see his bright smile in the dark room. “Why does everyone think I’m cheery and nice?”

I roll to my side to face him. “I never said cheery.”

“Spencer thinks I am.”

I smile and let my fingers drift over the stubble on his chin. “You’re just . . .” I feel sobs bubbling up in