Pygmalion George Bernard Shaw (the mitten read aloud .txt) š
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your hat, Liza, and come and see me turned off?
Liza
If the Colonel says I must, Iā āIāll Almost sobbing. Iāll demean myself. And get insulted for my pains, like enough.
Doolittle
Donāt be afraid: she never comes to words with anyone now, poor woman! respectability has broke all the spirit out of her.
Pickering
Squeezing Elizaās elbow gently. Be kind to them, Eliza. Make the best of it.
Liza
Forcing a little smile for him through her vexation. Oh well, just to show thereās no ill feeling. Iāll be back in a moment. She goes out.
Doolittle
Sitting down beside Pickering. I feel uncommon nervous about the ceremony, Colonel. I wish youād come and see me through it.
Pickering
But youāve been through it before, man. You were married to Elizaās mother.
Doolittle
Who told you that, Colonel?
Pickering
Well, nobody told me. But I concluded naturallyā ā
Doolittle
No: that aināt the natural way, Colonel: itās only the middle class way. My way was always the undeserving way. But donāt say nothing to Eliza. She donāt know: I always had a delicacy about telling her.
Pickering
Quite right. Weāll leave it so, if you donāt mind.
Doolittle
And youāll come to the church, Colonel, and put me through straight?
Pickering
With pleasure. As far as a bachelor can.
Mrs. Higgins
May I come, Mr. Doolittle? I should be very sorry to miss your wedding.
Doolittle
I should indeed be honored by your condescension, maāam; and my poor old woman would take it as a tremenjous compliment. Sheās been very low, thinking of the happy days that are no more.
Mrs. Higgins
Rising. Iāll order the carriage and get ready. The men rise, except Higgins. I shanāt be more than fifteen minutes. As she goes to the door Eliza comes in, hatted and buttoning her gloves. Iām going to the church to see your father married, Eliza. You had better come in the brougham with me. Colonel Pickering can go on with the bridegroom.
Mrs. Higgins goes out. Eliza comes to the middle of the room between the centre window and the ottoman. Pickering joins her.
Doolittle
Bridegroom! What a word! It makes a man realize his position, somehow. He takes up his hat and goes towards the door.
Pickering
Before I go, Eliza, do forgive him and come back to us.
Liza
I donāt think papa would allow me. Would you, dad?
Doolittle
Sad but magnanimous. They played you off very cunning, Eliza, them two sportsmen. If it had been only one of them, you could have nailed him. But you see, there was two; and one of them chaperoned the other, as you might say. To Pickering. It was artful of you, Colonel; but I bear no malice: I should have done the same myself. I been the victim of one woman after another all my life; and I donāt grudge you two getting the better of Eliza. I shanāt interfere. Itās time for us to go, Colonel. So long, Henry. See you in St. Georgeās, Eliza. He goes out.
Pickering
Coaxing. Do stay with us, Eliza. He follows Doolittle.
Eliza goes out on the balcony to avoid being alone with Higgins. He rises and joins her there. She immediately comes back into the room and makes for the door; but he goes along the balcony quickly and gets his back to the door before she reaches it.
Higgins
Well, Eliza, youāve had a bit of your own back, as you call it. Have you had enough? and are you going to be reasonable? Or do you want any more?
Liza
You want me back only to pick up your slippers and put up with your tempers and fetch and carry for you.
Higgins
I havenāt said I wanted you back at all.
Liza
Oh, indeed. Then what are we talking about?
Higgins
About you, not about me. If you come back I shall treat you just as I have always treated you. I canāt change my nature; and I donāt intend to change my manners. My manners are exactly the same as Colonel Pickeringās.
Liza
Thatās not true. He treats a flower girl as if she was a duchess.
Higgins
And I treat a duchess as if she was a flower girl.
Liza
I see. She turns away composedly, and sits on the ottoman, facing the window. The same to everybody.
Higgins
Just so.
Liza
Like father.
Higgins
Grinning, a little taken down. Without accepting the comparison at all points, Eliza, itās quite true that your father is not a snob, and that he will be quite at home in any station of life to which his eccentric destiny may call him. Seriously. The great secret, Eliza, is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no third-class carriages, and one soul is as good as another.
Liza
Amen. You are a born preacher.
Higgins
Irritated. The question is not whether I treat you rudely, but whether you ever heard me treat anyone else better.
Liza
With sudden sincerity. I donāt care how you treat me. I donāt mind your swearing at me. I donāt mind a black eye: Iāve had one before this. But standing up and facing him I wonāt be passed over.
Higgins
Then get out of my way; for I wonāt stop for you. You talk about me as if I were a motor bus.
Liza
So you are a motor bus: all bounce and go, and no consideration for anyone. But I can do without you: donāt think I canāt.
Higgins
I know you can. I told you you could.
Liza
Wounded, getting away from him to the other side of the ottoman with her face to the hearth. I know you did, you brute. You wanted to get rid of me.
Higgins
Liar.
Liza
Thank you. She sits down with dignity.
Higgins
You never asked yourself, I
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