The Waiter Bradleigh Collins (autobiographies to read TXT) 📖

get to New York, you should date Mike Piazza,” my mom said. “He’s sexy.”

“Mom!” Wendy laughed.

“What? He is!” My mom was a huge Braves fan, and she rarely missed a game on television. She was quite familiar with the Mets.

“He plays for the wrong team, Mom. I’m a Yankees fan.”

“You’re gonna meet so many hot guys up there,” Leigh said. I tried not to have a reaction, but it was pointless. “Oh my god! You’ve already met someone, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I met someone in New York. And I really like him and we’ll see what happens.” That was all the information they were getting.

Later that night, Dana, Christine and I were eating dinner at Surin.

“I can’t believe you picked the Dark Horse to meet him,” Dana said. “Such bad mojo there.” She was referring to a particular New Year’s Eve that resulted in me crying at midnight while Dalton chatted up a stripper on the other side of the bar. That night, Dana had repeatedly walked over and said to him, “hey, we’re over here,” gesturing to me and the rest of our friends, but by the time he waltzed back over like nothing had happened, the entire night was ruined.

“Tonight is about letting bygones be bygones and moving on. It’s kinda poetic, don’t you think?”

“Always the writer,” Dana replied.

“I honestly can’t believe you didn’t leave him sooner,” Christine said.

“I stayed because of the sex. How fucked up is that?”

“Well you did nickname his dick ‘The Real Thing,’” Dana said.

“Wait, what?” Christine looked at us.

“It’s a reference to Coke,” Dana replied. “Oh, sorry. I mean Coca-Cola. We are in Atlanta.”

“I still don’t get it,” Christine said.

“The first time Sam slept with Dalton, she described his dick as being the length of a Coke bottle and the width of a Coke can.”

“Yeah, that’s about right,” I nodded.

“Holy shit!” Christine was shocked.

“Well, you know what they say,” Dana said. “The bigger the dick...”

“The bigger the dick.” I finished her sentence. The three of us laughed.

After dinner, we walked across the street to the Darkhorse Tavern. Dalton was already sitting at the bar. I felt a sudden sense of panic.

“Oh god,” I said as we stood there in the doorway. “Now I’m scared.”

“The Real Thing,” Christine semi-whispered, looking over at Dalton.

“Really, Christine?”

“Come on,” Dana grabbed my arm. “Let’s get this over with.”

We walked over to the bar. I was totally expecting mean and brooding Dalton. I was surprised when he looked up and smiled.

“Hey babe.” He stood up and hugged me.

“Hey,” I replied hesitantly. “How are you?”

“Good! What do you guys want to drink?”

“Margaritas all around,” Dana instantly declared. “With salt.” The bartender nodded.

“Hi Christine,” Dalton said. “How are you, Dana?”

“I’m fine, Dalton. Why are you so creepily happy?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Dana looked at me. I signaled it was okay to leave me alone with him. She pulled me away from the bar.

“He’s serial killer calm, Sam,” she whispered. “Dahmer calm.”

“Yeah, he is. Let me figure out what’s going on. Just stay close.”

Dana and Christine moved down to the opposite end of the bar. Dana couldn’t resist the temptation to turn around and yell loudly, “Hey! We’re over here!”

“Nice one, Dana!” Dalton yelled back. Then he turned to me. “Is that why you wanted to meet me here? To replay my greatest hits?”

“Well, that was one of the shittiest things you ever did.”

“Yeah it was,” he responded. The bartender set my drink down in front of me and then delivered Dana and Christine’s. I took a sip. Then I looked at Dalton.

“I thought you’d still be mad at me.”

“I was,” he replied. “But then I got some fantastic news.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I just got a long-term assignment in New York,” he said. “I start October first.”

Then he smiled at me. “So, what was your news?”

CHAPTER 15

◆◆◆

Sunday evening I was still in shock. I must have stood there at the bar staring at him with my mouth open for five minutes before I could even respond.

“Dalton, I got a job in New York. I start October 12th.”

“That’s great babe! We can move up there together.”

“I can’t live with you in New York.”

“Why not? It’s corporate housing. All paid for. You won’t have to pay rent.”

“Because we’re broken up. And because I met someone in New York.”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“We have to talk about it. I know you’re pissed.”

“Well, I’m not happy about it, Sam.” He paused a minute. “Who is this douche? Is it serious?”

“No,” I replied. “Not yet anyway. But it’s not toxic either. We are toxic. We can’t keep doing this to each other.”

“Babe. Just think about it. That’s all I ask. You don’t have to give me an answer now.”

I agreed to think about it. But only because I needed to get out of the Dark Horse as quickly as possible so I could scream. As soon as Dana, Christine and I left, I told them what happened.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Dana said.

“No, he’s really convinced that we can start a new life together in New York.”

“What did you say to him?” Christine asked.

“I told him I’d think about it, but only because I wanted to get the heck out of dodge. This is not good.” I shook my head. “This is not good.”

“Okay Rain Man, calm down.” Dana said. “Let’s go back to your apartment and open a bottle of wine.”

The conversation continued at my apartment as Dana poured each of us a glass of Cabernet.

“You do realize,” she said, “that the only reason he arranged an assignment in New York is because he found out you were seeing someone.”

“My mom told him all I wanted to do was move to New York. He called her a couple of weeks ago. This is the grand gesture.”

“Are you serious?” Christine asked. “He called your mom?”

“I’m surprised she didn’t hang up on him,” Dana said.

“No, they had a long conversation. She said she felt sorry for him.”

“Sam, this is not a Titanic