Trapped (Bullied Book 4) (Bullied Series) Vera Hollins (best large ereader txt) 📖

until her first year in college, when she had a cardiac arrest and escaped death only by miracle.

After that, she made a fresh start and changed her life completely. She devoted herself to healthy living and balance, and when I began struggling with my body image after the incident at the end of sixth grade, she recognized it immediately and sent me to a therapist before my issues developed into an eating disorder.

However, even with therapy, I had moments like today when everything became too much and I just wanted relief from the pressure, allowing my brain to lead me into this.

“I know, Mom. I really know I put myself in danger by throwing up. I know I shouldn’t have done it.”

She caressed my hands, never taking her worried gaze off me. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart. I’m here. Don’t forget about that. You’re never alone.” She smiled at me and caressed my hair with slow moves. “You’re amazing and strong. So amazing.”

My gaze dropped to my lap. I wanted to believe her words, but it was so hard. “I don’t know. I feel so fat, and I don’t like it.”

“You aren’t fat, honey.”

“But look at me, Mom.” I opened my arms widely. “The mirror doesn’t lie.”

A few tears spilled out of her eyes. She palmed my cheek. “Oh, it does. The mirror lies, and do you know why? Because it all comes from here.” She tapped her head with her forefinger. “The way you see yourself defines that image in the mirror.” She stood up and kissed my forehead. “So instead of telling yourself you’re fat, tell yourself you’re the most gorgeous girl. You’ll see. In time, the image in the mirror will change. It will be better.”

This was hard because I couldn’t feel it inside. Words weren’t enough, but I repeated them anyway, hoping one day I would accept myself.

“Everything about you is beautiful.” She smiled a watery smile. “Every single thing, including your flaws. Your flaws make you you. No matter how much you weigh, you’ll always be this special girl with a heart bigger than her body will ever get.” She tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear with her trembling hand. “And at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters.”

I sniffed. “Thanks, Mom.”

“It’s the truth. Just make sure you talk to Susan about this, okay? She’ll be able to help you overcome it.”

I picked at my nail polish. “I will. I have a session with her this Friday.”

“That’s good. And honey?” I raised my head to look at her. “I love you.”

A bit of warmth returned to my body. I managed to smile at her. “I love you too.”

Tomorrow was a new day. So the next morning, I got up, closed all my negative feelings and thoughts in a box, and went to school with a renewed determination to not let Blake mess with my mind. Sarah’s inner strength must have rubbed off on me at some point because I was able to bounce back from my low more quickly than usual and keep going.

My second period was psychology, which I shared with Mel. We sat closer to the back of the classroom, talking with each other in hushed whispers whenever our teacher turned to write something on the blackboard. Masen was also in this class, and Mel didn’t hide how much she disliked that fact even though he hardly paid any attention to us.

Today, he flirted with a pink-haired girl sitting next to him in the second row, who giggled almost every time he said something, and Mel’s eyes were plastered to them.

My lips curled up at the corner. “You look like you’re about to go ballistic,” I told her.

“I am going to go ballistic. Shreya Wilkins—you know, one of the student council members and the president of the math club—had a nervous breakdown right in the middle of our meeting yesterday, and we didn’t manage to discuss anything because she was crying like the apocalypse is coming! She cried so much she could’ve flooded a desert!”

Since the desks in this classroom were very close to each other, it was easy for Masen to place his hand on the girl’s thigh as he leaned over to whisper something in her ear. Mel clenched her fists under her desk, grimacing.

“Shreya is soooo madly in love with Barbie, but apparently, he doesn’t give a flying fuck about her feelings. He just used her for sex last weekend and hasn’t looked twice at her since.”

I shrugged my shoulders. There was nothing new about that. It was known that Masen never, ever dated. For him, girls were pieces of meat, and he never slept with a girl more than once, or so the rumors said.

“To be fair, I think she knew what she was getting into,” I said. “I mean, it’s not a secret that he isn’t looking for a girlfriend.”

“But that doesn’t give him the right to treat her like she’s worth no more than the shit in his toilet.” I gave her a sidelong glance, surprised by the amount of venom in her words. “That’s why I despise guys,” she gritted out. “They’re disgusting pigs who only use girls for sex.”

I gaped at her. I was confused as to where all this aversion came from. I wanted to ask her if that was the reason why she didn’t want to date anyone, as she’d mentioned on numerous occasions, but I couldn’t, because the teacher turned to face us, so we had to stay quiet. I focused on my textbook as she held forth on Pavlov’s experiments.

The moment she turned to the blackboard, Mel leaned toward me. “Looking on the bright side—I managed to propose our dearest council set up booths manned by psychologists who can counsel victims of bullying during the festival.”

Mel was fired up about the festival, and she was working like a beaver to make it successful. “Now that’s brilliant,” I told her. “Maybe