David Copperfield Charles Dickens (100 best novels of all time .TXT) 📖

she repressed the tears that had begun to flow; and, putting out her trembling hand, and touching Mr. Peggotty, as if there was some healing virtue in him, went away along the desolate road. She had been ill, probably for a long time. I observed, upon that closer opportunity of observation, that she was worn and haggard, and that her sunken eyes expressed privation and endurance.

We followed her at a short distance, our way lying in the same direction, until we came back into the lighted and populous streets. I had such implicit confidence in her declaration, that I then put it to Mr. Peggotty, whether it would not seem, in the onset, like distrusting her, to follow her any farther. He being of the same mind, and equally reliant on her, we suffered her to take her own road, and took ours, which was towards Highgate. He accompanied me a good part of the way; and when we parted, with a prayer for the success of this fresh effort, there was a new and thoughtful compassion in him that I was at no loss to interpret.

It was midnight when I arrived at home. I had reached my own gate, and was standing listening for the deep bell of St. Paul’s, the sound of which I thought had been borne towards me among the multitude of striking clocks, when I was rather surprised to see that the door of my aunt’s cottage was open, and that a faint light in the entry was shining out across the road.

Thinking that my aunt might have relapsed into one of her old alarms, and might be watching the progress of some imaginary conflagration in the distance, I went to speak to her. It was with very great surprise that I saw a man standing in her little garden.

He had a glass and bottle in his hand, and was in the act of drinking. I stopped short, among the thick foliage outside, for the moon was up now, though obscured; and I recognized the man whom I had once supposed to be a delusion of Mr. Dick’s, and had once encountered with my aunt in the streets of the city.

He was eating as well as drinking, and seemed to eat with a hungry appetite. He seemed curious regarding the cottage, too, as if it were the first time he had seen it. After stooping to put the bottle on the ground, he looked up at the windows, and looked about; though with a covert and impatient air, as if he was anxious to be gone.

The light in the passage was obscured for a moment, and my aunt came out. She was agitated, and told some money into his hand. I heard it chink.

“What’s the use of this?” he demanded.

“I can spare no more,” returned my aunt.

“Then I can’t go,” said he. “Here! You may take it back!”

“You bad man,” returned my aunt, with great emotion; “how can you use me so? But why do I ask? It is because you know how weak I am! What have I to do, to free myself forever of your visits, but to abandon you to your deserts?”

“And why don’t you abandon me to my deserts?” said he.

“You ask me why!” returned my aunt. “What a heart you must have!”

He stood moodily rattling the money, and shaking his head, until at length he said:

“Is this all you mean to give me, then?”

“It is all I can give you,” said my aunt. “You know I have had losses, and am poorer than I used to be. I have told you so. Having got it, why do you give me the pain of looking at you for another moment, and seeing what you have become?”

“I have become shabby enough, if you mean that,” he said. “I lead the life of an owl.”

“You stripped me of the greater part of all I ever had,” said my aunt. “You closed my heart against the whole world, years and years. You treated me falsely, ungratefully, and cruelly. Go, and repent of it. Don’t add new injuries to the long, long list of injuries you have done me!”

“Aye!” he returned. “It’s all very fine⁠—Well! I must do the best I can, for the present, I suppose.”

In spite of himself, he appeared abashed by my aunt’s indignant tears, and came slouching out of the garden. Taking two or three quick steps, as if I had just come up, I met him at the gate, and went in as he came out. We eyed one another narrowly in passing, and with no favour.

“Aunt,” said I, hurriedly. “This man alarming you again! Let me speak to him. Who is he?”

“Child,” returned my aunt, taking my arm, “come in, and don’t speak to me for ten minutes.”

We sat down in her little parlour. My aunt retired behind the round green fan of former days, which was screwed on the back of a chair, and occasionally wiped her eyes, for about a quarter of an hour. Then she came out, and took a seat beside me.

“Trot,” said my aunt, calmly, “it’s my husband.”

“Your husband, aunt? I thought he had been dead!”

“Dead to me,” returned my aunt, “but living.”

I sat in silent amazement.

“Betsey Trotwood don’t look a likely subject for the tender passion,” said my aunt, composedly, “but the time was, Trot, when she believed in that man most entirely. When she loved him, Trot, right well. When there was no proof of attachment and affection that she would not have given him. He repaid her by breaking her fortune, and nearly breaking her heart. So she put all that sort of sentiment, once and forever, in a grave, and filled it up, and flattened it down.”

“My dear, good aunt!”

“I left him,” my aunt proceeded, laying her hand as usual on the back of mine, “generously. I may say at this distance of time, Trot, that I left him generously. He had been so cruel to me, that I might have effected a separation