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night to come floats between you.ā€

ā€œUntil you canā€™t take it anymore, and you both run into each otherā€™s arms,ā€ Vera took over. ā€œOoo,ā€ she cooed, the ideas coming faster. ā€œMaybe heā€™ll see how awesome you are and never let you go. Youā€™ll get married and have adorable rock star babies.ā€

ā€œA baby musician band,ā€ I added, joining in on the crazy fantasy. Why the hell not.

ā€œBut first, heā€™ll take you back to his suite and fuck you all night long,ā€ Rae inserted.

ā€œYes,ā€ I cheered.

Raeā€™s eyes lit up. ā€œDamn, you are excited. You never cheer when we talk about sex.ā€

I shrugged, liking the sound of all night long.

ā€œBut before he whisks you away, he introduces me to that delicious Viking man who will end up fucking me all night long.ā€

ā€œUhā€¦ā€ Vera and I shared confused glances at the turn of events. ā€œBoyfriend,ā€ I explained.

Rae sniffed in annoyance and ignored us, getting away with it when the waiter returned with our drinks.

ā€œTo a new year,ā€ Rae toasted.

I skipped my shot and lifted my still mostly-full champagne glass. I didnā€™t need to add any alcohol with the number of butterflies fluttering through my whole body.

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, I finally got a message from the contact Aiken set up for me. I had a press pass of sorts that would allow me free rein. Before we got to the party, I nabbed a few pictures of bands setting up. One more of the hottest rock band, and Iā€™d call it a successful night for business.

We collected our jackets, and with Nicoā€™s broad body guiding the way, we made our way over to the stage The Haunted Obsession was performing on.

Nerves started creeping up my throat, and the high that had carried me this far started being weighed down by doubts. What if he didnā€™t really want to see me? What if he really did? What if we do run into each otherā€™s arms, and kiss, andā€¦everything else? What if he leaves me again? What if this was a mistake? What ifā€”

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see a message from Parker, smiling before I even read it.

Rock Star: Are you going to watch us play tonight?

Me: Of course. Wouldnā€™t miss it.

Rock Star: Make sure you cheer so loud I can hear you all the way in Times Square.

Me: Iā€™ll make sure you hear me.

The tension and what-ifs faded away, replaced by a calm, happy, acceptance. Itā€™d been five years since Iā€™d had Parkerā€™s arms around meā€”since Iā€™d felt like Iā€™d found home. Remembering the warmth and strength of his embrace had all the tension melting away. This was different. We were different now. I would be smarter.

Once we reached the stage, we moved past the crowd. The wind bit at my nose, and I shoved my shaking hands inside my faux fur-lined puffy coat, burrowing into my collar. Partially so I could hide my face in case Parker popped around a corner and saw me. I wanted the meeting to be on my terms.

I glanced at the time. Fifteen minutes.

ā€œYouā€™re just in time,ā€ the guy who approved my pass said. ā€œThey just got on stage, getting ready to play one of their songs and then singing the John Lennon song. You can head up and take the pictures you need. Just stay off to the side.ā€

Rae said she would walk up with me as my ā€˜assistantā€™ while Vera and Nico stayed off to the sides.

ā€œNo matter what, Iā€™m proud of you for being brave,ā€ Vera said against my ear with one last hug.

I knew she was worried, and I appreciated it. I just hoped she was wrong, and we could laugh about it later.

My heart thundered, and the bright lights swirled until I was sure Iā€™d pass out. This was it. This was it. This was it.

On repeat in my head, it was all I could think about as I ascended the few steps on wobbly legs. People filled the edges of the stage, shoulder to shoulder, preparing for whatever came next.

ā€œHappy New Year, New York,ā€ Parkerā€™s voice rang all around me, and the crowd answered with a roar of epic proportions. Everything else faded away, and my sole focus shifted to the stage. ā€œHow about we get a little chaotic before we close out this year?ā€

The crowd roared again, and the beginning chords of their latest song began. Rae latched on to my arm and shook me in excitement, and I laughed, bouncing with her to the beat, singing each word I knew by heart.

Iā€™d gone to see them a few times in concert because I loved their musicā€”loved to see how theyā€™d grown into themselves and become better musicians. But standing at the edge of the stageā€”even if I only caught glimpses between everyone moving aroundā€”it was something else. Something Iā€™d never forget.

Happiness, like Iā€™d never experienced, had me shaking my ass and jumping up and down between remembering to snap a few action shots and take video. Rae and I shimmied and bumped hips and swayed to the slow break only to start jumping and banging our heads when the beat picked up.

The song ended but quickly shifted, and the soft chords of John Lennonā€™s Imagine floated across the crowd. Parkerā€™s rough voice sang the words like theyā€™d been made to be sung with a rock vibe. As each lyric passed, the seconds ticked by, and despite the countdown for the new year beginning, mine had already started.

Finally, the song ended, and seconds later, the final minute countdown started on the screen. People moved to collect the equipment, and with a not-so-subtle shove from Rae, I stumbled past a crowd.

Parker stood talking and laughing with Ash, Brogan, and some other people.

Turn around. Turn around. Feel me.

I chanted the plea, hoping heā€™d feel my need and comply.

Ten. Nine. Eight.

I didnā€™t want to step any further on the stage. All the lights shined on him as people all around paired off.

Seven. Six. Five.

Two more

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