All I've Waited For Lindsay Harrel (top 10 inspirational books .txt) 📖

“And when she got to the circle, I’d be waiting with a ring in a little velvet box. And it would be just the two of us. Us and the stars.”

Just the two of them—him and Ashley.

His brain screamed at him to stop, but his body didn’t listen. With his free hand, Derek ran his thumb from her high cheekbone across her face. He traced the contour of her ear and brought his face within inches of hers, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

Ashley’s eyes dropped to half-mast, and she exhaled in such a sweet way that he was a goner.

His whole body trembled as he moved in, adrenaline pumping in anticipation of this thing he had wanted for so very long. Finally, his lips hovered over hers.

“Ashley?”

Both of them jerked away at the voice echoing through the courtyard.

She blinked rapidly. Her brain took a long few moments to register what her eyes were seeing.

Bella.

Bella was here, and she stood with her hands on her hips, head cocked to one side, eyes narrowed.

Oh, goodness.

Ashley stumbled to her feet.

Derek stood too, steadying her, his touch scalding her arm. “You okay?”

“Yes.” Her voice squeaked. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and shook her head. “No.”

Bella stepped toward Ashley. “Derek, I think you should go.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he finally looked chagrined. “Right. I’ll … call you, Ash.” Then he turned and walked away.

Ashley watched him go, and a tingling sensation swept up the back of her neck and across her face. A tiny moan left her lips as she buried her face in her hands. “What just happened?”

“That’s what I’d really like to know too.”

The trees that overlooked the courtyard had felt so intimate before, but now Ashley’s throat closed at the sight of them. “I have to get out of here.” She took off for the stairs, but Bella jumped in front of her.

“Not so fast, girl. You cannot just take off. You’ve gotta talk to me.”

Ashley bit her lip and looked away. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what to think.”

“Let’s walk, then. No thinking required. I just don’t want you to be alone right now.” Taking her hand, Bella tugged her back into the courtyard and toward the black gate. It creaked as it swung outward. As promised, her future sister-in-law didn’t say another word as they made their way down the path toward the beach. Both of them plucked off their sandals and left them behind, sinking their toes into the sand.

The wind whipping off the waves stung Ashley’s cheeks, but not as much as the memory of those stolen moments in the courtyard with Derek stung her heart. He’d been one second, maybe two, from kissing her.

Finally, they reached a bluff covered in a brilliant spray of wildflowers. Oranges, yellows, and reds jumped off nature’s canvas, painted in broad strokes that filled her vision. They were beautiful now, but winter would come. Petals would fall, and the stalks would curl in on themselves, leaving pure memory as the only proof they’d ever existed.

Ashley squatted, ripping up the nearest grouping of flowers, then stood and flung them over the edge of the cliff into the swirling ocean below. “Why did he almost kiss me?” She curled her arms around her middle.

Her friend was beside her in an instant, snaking her arm around Ashley’s side and leaning her head against Ashley’s arm. “What happened?”

“One minute I was showing him the setup for his wedding ceremony, and the next he was saying things.”

“Like?”

Ashley dug fingers into her sides as she studied the water. Black rocks dotted the coast, white foam bashing against them, drowning them momentarily. “Like he’s tired of pretending he doesn’t feel something around me. Something he shouldn’t. And I’m tired of it too, Bella.”

“You still love him, don’t you?”

“Ding, ding, ding.” Ashley sighed. “I’m just so confused. Of course I love him. And I thought my opportunity to be with him had passed me by. But what if it hasn’t?”

“It has.” Bella’s voice was gentle but firm. “He’s getting married in a little over two weeks.”

“I know, I know.” Wrenching away from Bella, Ashley edged closer to the bluff’s end. “But I’m not sure he even loves her. There’s no spark in his eyes when he talks about her, you know? And, Bells, he told me their proposal story, and it’s so dull and not really even a proposal, and then he told me how he’d always imagined proposing, and it was in our spot.”

They’d spent more time there together, on an old blanket staring up at the stars, than anywhere else combined. “Is it so wrong to want him to choose me instead?”

Tears beat against the back of her eyes, burning as she held them in.

From her place behind Ashley, Bella was quiet for a few moments. The roar of the ocean filled in the gaps between them.

At last, her friend approached her, holding out a small bouquet of flowers. “I know you love him, but you can’t steal him away. That’s not the woman I know and love.”

Ashley took the flowers, gripping the stems so tight she thought they might break. “I don’t want to be that woman.” The sweet smell of the long, skinny flowers wafted up to her nose. “But he’s the only one I know who seems to see the real me, and I don’t have to do anything for him to do that. He just … does it.”

“Oh, Ash. I’m sorry.”

“What am I going to do, Bells?” Her voice revealed her anguish, but she didn’t care. She had to get this out. “What do I do with this hole in my heart?”

“When I thought I’d lost Ben, I felt the same way.” Bella sighed as she looked out across the horizon, where the sun had started its early evening descent. “But if you go after Derek now, you’d be inflicting the same pain on his fiancée. And he might end up resenting you