Seven Demons Aidan Truhen (reading an ebook TXT) 📖

the forward aspect of our dealings—I’m just saying in the end there’s no way around it:

Heads will roll, Mr. Eiger.

Heads will roll.

—

Sharkey is still staring at me and I’m obviously not going to take him home with me. I mean what would I do with another mouth to feed?

So I get some Saran Wrap and I tape the cut end to the floor and I tape the roll to his hands.

Sharkey says: “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Well Sharkey I am leaving now and I do not want to blow up your balls.”

“Oh that’s great Jack I really—”

“But at the same time I do not entirely trust you to be measured about this situation when the adrenal glands start working their mojo and so on. All kinds of weird biochemical shit is about to break loose in your body Sharkey and your decision making is going to suck so I am first of all going to urge you to do NOTHING for twenty-four hours and then I am going to explain to you what’s happening here okay?”

“Okay.”

“So first of all I am putting the phone I am using as a detonator—which is still live okay so please don’t—okay—in the other room. All you have to do is wait until someone comes in and get them to switch it off. Then you are all good. And I am going to call your cleaning service in about an hour and then you’ll be fine and as I say maybe just take a personal day. But in the meantime Sharkey I cannot emphasize this enough do NOT stand up. If you stand up the static charge on the Saran Wrap will almost certainly induce a current in the detonator cables and your balls will explode.”

“…”

“True fact.”

“…”

“…”

“Saran Wrap will do that?”

“It is science Sharkey I am dating a scientist.”

I walk to the train station and honestly I halfway expect to hear the sound of Sharkey’s balls exploding but I do not so I assume he has abruptly become wise. I call his cleaning service and book them in for five-ish, which is the first time they can make it today. I get back on the train.

Man, Europe is just totally civilized this is the only way to travel.

—

Doc says: “It does not matter. We do the job.”

“But Doc we have no client—”

“Of course we have a client.”

“Who tried to kill us. It was a setup.”

“It does not matter if the client never wanted the job done. We rob the bank. We bring our employer exactly what he asked for. If he then refuses to pay us that is a problem for him but we—we are the Seven Demons. The robbing of the bank follows inexorably from our hiring as day follows night and one breath follows the next as death follows life. That is all that exists in the world for any of us because we are the Seven Demons. That is what we do and what we are and it is what Volodya died for and that means something to me. Is that clear?”

“But—”

“Is. That. Clear.”

“Yes Doc.”

“I will rob the bank. I am entirely capable of doing that as you well know. You will go and be as loud as possible so that everyone is paying attention to you and while that is happening—”

“Wait I’m the distraction?”

“You are the right hand everyone watches. I am the left one, which empties the pocket.”

“I do not want to be the diversion.”

“I know but Price when all this is done there you will be. Everyone will be used to you and you…you are the razor blade taped between the fingers.”

“…Yes.”

“You will make a miracle for Volodya. For all of us. For me. You will fully express our disappointment.”

“I can do that I guess.”

“You can. The liquid nitrogen wedding was one of the most awful things I have ever heard of and that is what I want from you right now. Only more so. Like that but with actual malice Price. I want it to hurt.”

“Are you…okay?”

“No I am not. Do you understand me? I am not okay.”

“Yes.”

“Make a horrible plan Price because if you don’t I will.”

“Okay.”

“And I do not have your restraint.”

“I’m sorry I think you said you do not have my restraint?”

“Please think about this carefully and realize as I say it that I appreciate the magnitude of the assertion and I am factoring into it the fullest understanding of who and what you are: No. I do not.”

—

Doc buys a giant electronic whiteboard and writes homer at the top. It is the HOMER board. There is a column for stuff that we need and another for stuff we have dealt with and another for stuff that we haven’t.

I write fucking horrible revenge on the agenda section of the board. Doc says yes quite so. Then she makes a new page on the board for robbing the bank and everyone writes a list of things they would need if they were going to rob the bank their own way. Saul:

Full architectural and system diagrams

Pressure diving equipment/biomedical suits times seven

Two commandos

Three bulldozers

Demolitions and entry options tbc

Mi-26 “flying crane” helicopter or best option

Saul says: “Jack I feel like I should say this is not a good way to do this. Like do this head-on and you are in a land war for like seven hundred miles of escape route.”

“That would be super cool though.”

“It would be a cool movie Jack it would not be a cool plan.”

“I am very disappointed in you Saul with your common sense and your shitty practical approach.”

“You’re welcome Jack.”

“Doc Saul is fitting in too well can we kill him?”

“No Price we cannot Charlie and I have spoken of it and we find him aesthetically appropriate also he shares the babysitting.”

“What baby—oh. Oh haha okay we will ignore the unkind implication that I am an infant. And proceed show me your stuff.”

“Aw boss I am moved but I think Doc would object—”

“Charlie—”

“Hey you are all embarrassed by the sexy talk that