Leaving Home Chase, A. (best self help books to read txt) 📖

shit. It didn’t fix anything, and really all it did was take him away from the world. That was why he used a smaller dose while he was working. He didn’t want to be so out of it that he missed saving a rider.

Chaz took a deep breath. It was going to be hard, especially since he’d got used to

dulling the sharp edges all day, not just for events. Vacations were meant for him to heal and try to overcome all the shit he’d done to himself through the year.

As he studied himself in the glass, he could see the toll the drugs and the pain was

taking on him. What had Peter been thinking to allow him into his house and his bed? Was

Peter so desperate he’d take a man like Chaz?

He shook his head. No, Peter wasn’t desperate. He was a good man who saw

something worthwhile in Chaz, and Chaz wanted to live up to Peter’s expectations. He

brushed his teeth before taking his time changing back into sweats and a long-sleeved shirt.

His phone rang while he was trying to decide whether it was worth bending over to put

his socks on, or just to put up with cold feet. Chaz snatched his phone up from the dresser.

He checked the screen, and saw it was the same number Matthew had called him from

earlier. Why was his brother calling him again? It was rare to get more than one call in a month. Now he was getting two in one day.

“Hey, bro, what’s up?”

Chaz grunted when he sat in the chair next to the window. He found it faced the barns,

so he could see when Peter headed in.

“I have to tell you something.”

“Wow. Okay. It must be serious if you’re calling me again. Not sure what time it is

wherever you are. Shouldn’t you be on a mission or something?” Chaz thought about joking, but the intense tone in Matthew’s voice told him it wasn’t teasing time.

Matthew cleared his throat. “Yeah. We’re heading out again in a few minutes, but I

needed to say something to you. If something should happen to me, I want someone in my

family to know the truth about me.”

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LEAVING HOME T.A. Chase 79

“You’re starting to freak me out, Matthew. Just fucking tell me already.” Chaz hated

when people didn’t just come and say what they wanted.

“I’m not re-upping after this tour. I’m done, Chaz. I’m tired of it all.” Matthew sounded exhausted.

“I’m sorry, but I thought you were happy doing whatever it is that you do in the army.

I never knew it was that bad.” Chaz slowly leant back in the chair, resting his head on the edge.

Matthew sighed, and said, “It’s not just that. I’m tired of all the bullshit I have to deal with. I’m gay, Chaz. I didn’t have a problem with you because I’m the same way. I just didn’t want to say anything since I was going into the military. At the time, don’t ask, don’t tell was still part of the atmosphere, and I wasn’t about to out myself. I wanted to be to a Ranger so badly.”

“Really? I’m not mad that you didn’t say anything. Hell, Matty, I understand why you

didn’t say anything, but why do it now? All of your missions have been dangerous. What

makes this one different?”

“I met someone, and while he didn’t want anyone to know about us, I had to tell you.

You’re my big brother, and my best friend. I wanted to let you know. It’s important to me.”

Matthew sounded like he knew what the future held for him and it wasn’t pretty.

“Shit, Matty. Now you’re scaring me. Did you have a fucking dream or something?”

Chaz closed his eyes. “I don’t want to know you saw yourself dying or any crap like that.”

Matthew laughed. “Nothing like that, man, but you never know, and, like I said, I

wanted you to be aware of what was going on in my life. At least the shit I could tell you about.”

Chaz pursed his lips, then rolled his head to look out of the window. Peter was walking

towards the house. “I get where you’re coming from. He must be someone special for you to risk your men overhearing you tell me.”

“He is, but he’s afraid I’ll get caught in friendly fire if my unit finds out I’m gay. I keep telling him my guys don’t care. He’s too scared. I think he saw someone close to him get in trouble in the military because of their sexuality.” Matthew’s voice held joy and love as he spoke about his mysterious man. “He plays guitar in a band. They’re trying to get a record deal. He’s really good, Chaz. I’d love for you to meet him.”

Chaz heard a door shut somewhere in the house. Peter must have come in.

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LEAVING HOME T.A. Chase 80

“I will. Tell me when you’re going to be back in the States, and I’ll take some time off to come and meet your guy. I’ve met someone as well. I think you’ll like him, Matty. He’s a

great guy.”

“Maybe good things are coming our way. It’s about damn time, don’t you think?”

Someone spoke in the background just as a knock sounded on Chaz’s door.

“I’ve got to go, Chaz. Thanks for listening, and I promise not to call you again until next month. By then I should have an idea when I’ll be back in the country.”

“Take care, Matty. I can’t wait to meet your man.” He ended the call, then let the phone

drop to the floor as he called out, “Come in, Peter.”

After opening the door, Peter stuck his head around the edge. “I thought you’d be out

in the living room when I got in.”

“I meant to be, but Matthew called.” Chaz tried to relax into the cushions of the chair,

but every atom in his body refused.

“Is there anything wrong? Isn’t Matthew the brother in the military?” Peter strolled

across the room to kneel next to Chaz.

“Nothing’s wrong. He just wanted to tell me something he didn’t think could wait