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my head as a teen where you were the most important person in it. I tried to take that away, shift it, make it about someone else, but no matter whom I bond with, no matter whom I come to care for, you’re always there. You’re so deep inside me.” My eyes filled with tears as I clawed at my chest. “I can’t get you out.”

“Don’t.” He shook his head, and for a split fucking second, I was right back there, in my room, feeling that same agony of rejection. When he moved, I knew he was going to pull away. He’d sobered, realised this was not right, found some other fucking reason to leave me. I tensed hard, readying myself for the blow.

So when he surged up, covering me with his body, I went stock still.

“Don’t get me out. I don’t deserve to be inside you, but I thank Mother Moon that I am.” As if to push home his point, he positioned himself between my legs, then slammed himself deep. For a moment, he just stopped still, staring down at me, his forehead creasing, his hand stroking my hair. “I’ll always love you. I haven’t touched another woman since you left, since before that when I thought… You feel so fucking tight and wet. So good, I…” I gasped as his hips flexed, shoving him deeper. “I want this to last forever, but I feel like I won’t last more than a few strokes.”

I pulled him down atop of me, our mouths joining, our bodies shifting slowly, moving inexorably further. I felt the shake of his arms, tasted the hiss of his breath, my hands digging into his buttocks, letting him know it was OK. This wasn’t the end, this was the beginning. We would have lazy days of this, lying in bed, tangled in each other, drawing the scent of the other in deep before one of us clambered over the other and joined our bodies the way our hearts did.

I was horrified when I felt the tears form, when they trickled out the sides of my eyes, when he kissed them away and replaced them with him—his cock thrusting harder and deeper, his hands clawing the bed, his kisses raining down on my skin, and I rushed to meet all of it. I couldn’t bear even the smallest of gaps, wrapping my arms around him, holding him tight until my cunt did the same, seizing him, snapping tight as wave after wave of heartbreaking pleasure broke over me. That seemed to trigger something in him, his hips jerking hard, and then he went still.

“I should go.”

We both looked up to see Aidan crouched on the bed, looking like a bystander at a car crash. His eyes were wide and colourless in the darkness.

“I’m intruding. I knew I was all along. You didn’t reach for me, didn’t want to give me the time of day, but…” I reached out, taking his hand, and Aidan squeezed it gratefully, all the while looking like he was going to be sick. “I’m sorry. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into but…” He shook his head slowly.

“No one’s going to make you stay,” I said quietly, Mason kissing my neck before pulling free and rolling onto the bed. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“Want?” Aidan’s eyes shone silver for a second. “Goddess, I wish that lack of desire was the problem, but… I guess I thought this was just going to be casual.”

“It was supposed to be,” Mason said with a dry chuckle. “If you’re around Paige for any length of time, you’ll find that near impossible to maintain.” He rolled me towards him, kissing me lightly, then pulled away before it began to deepen. “If you find a way to keep your feelings out of things, you’re a tougher bastard than me.”

“I haven’t.” Aidan drew away from the two of us, like some increased physical distance would help. “I’ve made a fucking mess of things trying to deal with it, but—”

I wiggled free of Mason, feeling his fingers on my skin as I flipped over and crawled towards Aidan, pressing my lips to his. He just let me kiss him for a few seconds before his hands surged forward, yanking me into his lap, diving into my hair, then shifting me until I straddled him, his eyes trained on my mouth.

“I fucking prayed that I would be one of the ones who cooled down when you found your mates. I knew you’d chosen, and I knew that wasn’t me.” He bit the words off, trying to put up another wall, but when I put my hand to his face, his eyes fluttered closed. “Fuck yes…” he murmured. “Touch me. Give me something to take with me when I walk through that door.”

He said the words like a prayer, but I was the false idol he prayed to. I traced the line of his broad forehead, of his sharp cheekbones, along those full lips, the only bit of softness in his face.

“I can’t promise anything, but I can give you this,” I said.

“Kiss me, touch me, hit me,” he mumbled. “Whatever you have to give, I want.”

So I did.

Chapter 14

It was right about now I hated my father and my town. I settled back on my heels, not letting my hand leave Aidan’s skin. His hand tightened over mine, keeping it pressed there, as if worried I’d slip away. I couldn’t help but wonder how this would have all gone, if the town had accepted I was a nix. Instead of being expected to make a life-changing decision at eighteen, would that have been just the start? Would I have been like human girls, having sexual experiences on my own schedule, reaching for people when I felt the pull of attraction, only going as far as I felt comfortable, with the only concern from my family being around my safety?

And would I have chosen Aidan to explore

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