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mine. Anticipation builds. She’s back.

But the person gazing at me is neither my mother nor Emeric.

Amelia’s face comes into focus. Sandpaper lines my throat as I try to swallow. We’re in the corner of the ballroom. I try to sit up but am heavy, cloudy. Amelia helps me.

“Are you okay?” she asks gently. “You were dancing, spinning, not stopping, then you collapsed.” Concern rumples her features.

My head throbs. “Emeric and I were dancing and—”

She shakes her head slowly. “You were out for a while. It scared me. There were rumors that there were demon attacks on campus—boys’ dorm, ours. Demons have never been on campus until now. Rumor has it that it must be the new vamp—they’re always working with demons.”

My thoughts drift to Tyrren. I want to defend him. I sit up and hold my head in my hands. “Tyrren probably left when he saw me with Emeric.” I have a sudden urge to find my best friend.

“I haven’t seen either of them,” Amelia says.

“Not all vamps lead demons. In fact, some of them vanquish them from the world.” But I’m angry with my uncle and don’t know what to think. I do need to find Tyrren though. He’s the easy target. “Thank you for helping me, Amelia.”

“You had an intense experience. Usually, the dance lasts all night, but in light of things if you’d like we can head back to the dorm.” She scans the room, probably looking for Aaron.

I want to relay what Tyrren said but now probably isn’t the best time.

We make our way slowly along the glistening sidewalk. Clouds mask the stars and moon. It’s as if they’re also obscuring something else, something that I’m right on the edge of knowing—other than that I’m unseelie fae.

Back in our room, Amelia twirls in the mirror. “I’m not a girlie girl, but I don’t want to take this gown off.”

I’ve already changed and am resting my head on the pillow. “Has anything like that ever happened to you?” I ask.

“Danced so much that I collapsed? Typically, it’s something that only happens to humans in the hands of unseelie fae.” Amelia smooths her dress.

“It was like I was having a strange dream or entered a different reality.” I describe the shadows and then the light. I fear it’ll fade.

“That could mean you’re unseelie fae. If so, just try to stay in the middle.”

“When I was there, I didn’t want to. I liked the shadow side and...it scares me.” My voice is faint.

Amelia reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze.

I think of my mother. Of the light.

“I don’t know how to explain it, but the more you resist it the stronger it will get. Instead, you have to let it exist inside of you. The thing about fae is we’re paradox, opposites, light and shadow. Even unseelie choose which to act on. You don’t have to do bad. Unless, you know, you want to end up in jail.” She grins at the irony.

An argument builds in my mind. Like shadow and light want to do battle. “Why didn’t I know all of this? Shouldn’t there be an instruction manual on how to be fae?”

“Our parents are supposed to teach us. After the Wicked War, when so many died or fled the Borea realm, schools like this one were started.”

“But now we’re the ones being punished.”

“Good thing Emeric is going to help us bust out of here.”

“Like a jailbreak?” I ask.

“Like the fae rising up against the nats and even the vampires. We’re going to finally get some respect.”

The unseelie in me likes that idea. The rational, reasonable girl that was raised around natural mortals and vampires alike doesn’t understand why we all can’t peacefully coexist. The split causes a heaviness to sit in my bones.

I want to tell Amelia how whenever I’m around Emeric, it’s almost like I’m entranced. When I’m not around him, I think of him with a warm fondness. When we’re together, it’s more of a burning desire. Then there’s the inner conflict with Tyrren. He’s capable and confident, careful and caring. Amelia told me to live in the middle. Is that where my heart is?

Instead, I say, “Lately, I wake up feeling like a different person. Like the girl I’ve looked at in the mirror all my life was just a placeholder for who I’m becoming. I’ve switched from being concerned with school, friends, and work to a wickedly bad girl to someone who wants to do the right thing and now back again. The truth is, I’m sort of afraid of myself.”

“Classic unseelie.” Amelia lifts and lowers a shoulder like it’s no big deal. She holds up a can of Irn-Bru. “What you do is what matters not necessarily what you think or feel because although they’re real inside of you, they’re not to the rest of the world.” She opens the soda and bends the tab back and forth. “I got Q. Is there anyone here whose name starts with Q?”

I do the same and my tab breaks off on the letter T again.

“So not E for Emeric. T for Tyrren. Interesting.” Amelia waggles her eyebrows.

“For someone who can do magic, you put a lot of stock in soda top tabs.”

She laughs. “I’ve never been in a love triangle before. Lea, caught between Emeric, the guy who’s going to lead us to rebellion and save us all, and Tyrren, the resident vampire bad boy who defaces school property and hates all fae except one.”

It’s definitely not a love triangle. I practically snarl at that last part about Tyrren. “That is not true.”

“Everyone knows Tyrren did the graffiti. He can’t help that he didn’t know you were fae. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.”

I swallow back what she said and focus on the edges

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