The Secret Adversary Agatha Christie (books to read to get smarter TXT) đ
- Author: Agatha Christie
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âYour motherâs dead, isnât she?â said Tuppence gently.
Tommy nodded.
Tuppenceâs large grey eyes looked misty.
âYouâre a good sort, Tommy. I always knew it.â
âRot!â said Tommy hastily. âWell, thatâs my position. Iâm just about desperate.â
âSo am I! Iâve hung out as long as I could. Iâve touted round. Iâve answered advertisements. Iâve tried every mortal blessed thing. Iâve screwed and saved and pinched! But itâs no good. I shall have to go home!â
âDonât you want to?â
âOf course I donât want to! Whatâs the good of being sentimental? Fatherâs a dearâ âIâm awfully fond of himâ âbut youâve no idea how I worry him! He has that delightful early Victorian view that short skirts and smoking are immoral. You can imagine what a thorn in the flesh I am to him! He just heaved a sigh of relief when the war took me off. You see, there are seven of us at home. Itâs awful! All housework and mothersâ meetings! I have always been the changeling. I donât want to go back, butâ âoh, Tommy, what else is there to do?â
Tommy shook his head sadly. There was a silence, and then Tuppence burst out:
âMoney, money, money! I think about money morning, noon and night! I dare say itâs mercenary of me, but there it is!â
âSame here,â agreed Tommy with feeling.
âIâve thought over every imaginable way of getting it too,â continued Tuppence. âThere are only three! To be left it, to marry it, or to make it. First is ruled out. I havenât got any rich elderly relatives. Any relatives I have are in homes for decayed gentlewomen! I always help old ladies over crossings, and pick up parcels for old gentlemen, in case they should turn out to be eccentric millionaires. But not one of them has ever asked me my nameâ âand quite a lot never said âThank you.âââ
There was a pause.
âOf course,â resumed Tuppence, âmarriage is my best chance. I made up my mind to marry money when I was quite young. Any thinking girl would! Iâm not sentimental, you know.â She paused. âCome now, you canât say Iâm sentimental,â she added sharply.
âCertainly not,â agreed Tommy hastily. âNo one would ever think of sentiment in connection with you.â
âThatâs not very polite,â replied Tuppence. âBut I dare say you mean it all right. Well, there it is! Iâm ready and willingâ âbut I never meet any rich men! All the boys I know are about as hard up as I am.â
âWhat about the general?â inquired Tommy.
âI fancy he keeps a bicycle shop in time of peace,â explained Tuppence. âNo, there it is! Now you could marry a rich girl.â
âIâm like you. I donât know any.â
âThat doesnât matter. You can always get to know one. Now, if I see a man in a fur coat come out of the Ritz I canât rush up to him and say: âLook here, youâre rich. Iâd like to know you.âââ
âDo you suggest that I should do that to a similarly garbed female?â
âDonât be silly. You tread on her foot, or pick up her handkerchief, or something like that. If she thinks you want to know her sheâs flattered, and will manage it for you somehow.â
âYou overrate my manly charms,â murmured Tommy.
âOn the other hand,â proceeded Tuppence, âmy millionaire would probably run for his life! Noâ âmarriage is fraught with difficulties. Remainsâ âto make money!â
âWeâve tried that, and failed,â Tommy reminded her.
âWeâve tried all the orthodox ways, yes. But suppose we try the unorthodox. Tommy, letâs be adventurers!â
âCertainly,â replied Tommy cheerfully. âHow do we begin?â
âThatâs the difficulty. If we could make ourselves known, people might hire us to commit crimes for them.â
âDelightful,â commented Tommy. âEspecially coming from a clergymanâs daughter!â
âThe moral guilt,â Tuppence pointed out, âwould be theirsâ ânot mine. You must admit that thereâs a difference between stealing a diamond necklace for yourself and being hired to steal it.â
âThere wouldnât be the least difference if you were caught!â
âPerhaps not. But I shouldnât be caught. Iâm so clever.â
âModesty always was your besetting sin,â remarked Tommy.
âDonât rag. Look here, Tommy, shall we really? Shall we form a business partnership?â
âForm a company for the stealing of diamond necklaces?â
âThat was only an illustration. Letâs have aâ âwhat do you call it in bookkeeping?â
âDonât know. Never did any.â
âI haveâ âbut I always got mixed up, and used to put credit entries on the debit side, and vice versaâ âso they fired me out. Oh, I knowâ âa joint venture! It struck me as such a romantic phrase to come across in the middle of musty old figures. Itâs got an Elizabethan flavour about itâ âmakes one think of galleons and doubloons. A joint venture!â
âTrading under the name of the Young Adventurers, Ltd.? Is that your idea, Tuppence?â
âItâs all very well to laugh, but I feel there might be something in it.â
âHow do you propose to get in touch with your would-be employers?â
âAdvertisement,â replied Tuppence promptly. âHave you got a bit of paper and a pencil? Men usually seem to have. Just like we have hairpins and powder-puffs.â
Tommy handed over a rather shabby green notebook, and Tuppence began writing busily.
âShall we begin: âYoung officer, twice wounded in the warâ ââââ
âCertainly not.â
âOh, very well, my dear boy. But I can assure you that that sort of thing might touch the heart of an elderly spinster, and she might adopt you, and then there would be no need for you to be a young adventurer at all.â
âI donât want to be adopted.â
âI forgot you had a prejudice against it. I was only ragging you! The papers are full up to the brim with that type of thing. Now listenâ âhowâs this? âTwo young adventurers for hire. Willing to do anything, go anywhere. Pay must be good.â (We might as well make that clear from the start.) Then we might add: âNo reasonable offer refusedââ âlike flats and furniture.â
âI should think any offer we get in answer to that
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