Ahead of his Time Adrian Cousins (most recommended books TXT) 📖

folded the cheque and dropped it into the side pocket of Jess’s coat. “Take it and go. There’s nothing more to talk about.”

“I’m pregnant.” She turned from her mother and stubbed the cigarette out on the side of the sink.

“For Christ’s sake, Jess. That’s a sink! Use the bloody ashtray … it’s there on the window-sill.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yes. I suppose you’ll want more money from me, assuming you’re going to have this baby?”

“Is that all you can say? I wasn’t expecting the delighted Grandmother reaction. But is that all you can come up with?”

“I’m not interested and don’t expect me to be. It’s another stupid situation you’ve got yourself in to. I’ll help you financially, but I don’t want anything to do with it.”

“Fucking hell! You really are a cold-hearted bitch!”

Merlyn hopped up on the counter and tried to trapeze his way across the edge of the sink towards Jess. He presumably had no idea of the hatred she had for him.

“Don’t you want to know who the father is?”

“Do you know?”

Jess shook her head in disbelief. Why she had expected anything else from her mother, God only knows.

“I’m not surprised you don’t know.” Grace folded her arms and looked down her nose at the disappointment that was her daughter.

“I do know!”

“Why did you shake your head when I asked if you knew then?”

“I didn’t! I shook my head at you, and how uncaring you are!”

“Well, whoever he is, he’d better take some responsibility. That’s assuming you’re going to keep this bastard child?”

“Yes, of course, I am! I’ll love this baby more than you ever loved me!” Jess placed her hand on her tummy. Although she was only a few months pregnant, she had that protective feeling for her unborn child. Now suspecting her tears were for the father, who she knew wouldn’t be part of the child’s early years.

“I want my birth certificate … that’s assuming my father’s name is on it. Although being a poncy solicitor, you probably had his name erased from that by some legal decree at the same time you changed your bloody Christian name! He has a right to know he’ll have a grandchild, you know!”

“He has no rights. No rights what … so … ever.” Grace leant forward towards Jess. “He buggered off and left us! So … no … no…! He’s forfeited his right to know anything.”

“If you didn’t love him, why do you care? It doesn’t matter, does it? You want nothing to do with him … great … fine, but don’t stop me!”

“I DID LOVE HIM!”

Grace stood with her mouth open, shocked at what she’d said. Stunned at her own outburst, she reached behind her to grab hold of a chair and then gently sat down at the table. She hadn’t meant to say that, although it was the truth as Jason was the only man she’d ever loved. All those years she’d stayed so strong, holding that lost love away from her heart – it was her way of coping.

“What’s his name?”

“Jason … Jason Apsley … no middle name.” Grace had changed Jess’s surname when she was still a baby, from Apsley to her surname – Redmond. She’d wanted to banish everything to do with Jason, including his name.

“Apsley, are you sure?” Jess sat at the table and narrowed her eyes at her mother.

“What do you mean, am I sure? Of course, I know who your bloody father is! More than you probably know who the father of that is!” she spat back, pointing at Jess’s stomach.

Ignoring her mother’s anger, she took a moment to think as that name was definitely familiar to her. “I’ve heard my boyfriend mention him. He lives on the Broxworth Estate.”

“No, no, he emigrated to South Africa after you were born. That’s just a coincidence. Jason wouldn't live up there … don’t tell me you’re living up there now? For God’s sake, girl, you’ve hit rock bottom.”

Jess rummaged through her pockets again as she searched for her cigarettes. Grabbing the crushed soft pack of Camel, she fished out the last crumpled cigarette and straightened it before lighting up and flopping back into her chair. Her mother sat stroking the moronic cat that’d sprung onto her lap. The relationship with her mother had always been fraught, and she wondered if she could find her father if that relationship could be better. Although he’d never wanted her in the first place, so maybe not.

Jess blew out the smoke to the ceiling, contemplating that she’d be raising this child on her own. Her mother wasn’t interested and, her father, whoever he was, probably wouldn’t be either. Although she loved her boyfriend, he wouldn’t be there to support her unless there was a miracle. She felt the folded cheque in her pocket; at least if nothing else, her mother would keep supplying these, and she was going to need them. All she had to do was keep turning up from time to time, and her mother would produce a cheque just to get rid of her.

Her mother and Merlyn just stared at her. “I’m going now.” She stepped over to the sink and stubbed her cigarette out on the side whilst looking at the ashtray on the window-sill. Jess knew it would annoy her mother, and it felt good to have the power to do that. She strode across the kitchen, turned and looked at her mother again. She hovered as Grace had her nose nuzzled in the cat’s fur, but she didn’t look up. Jess swivelled around and left, leaving the front door ajar just to piss her off a bit more.

2

16th January 1977

Cortina

Arm in arm, Sally and Brian took their early morning stroll up the High Street. The weak winter sun, low in the sky, glistened off the snow which had fallen heavily overnight. The pavement had a beautiful white blanket, only punctuated with a few different shaped footprints – all at different angles.

With all the shops closed, the street