Recovery Nicole Dykes (best motivational books to read TXT) 📖

sleeping. His hair is messy, and I see claw marks on his shoulders.

“Is your little friend still in your room, Finn? Does she think you’re bringing her breakfast in bed?”

He offers a wicked grin, looking over his shoulder at the marks. “Fucking catlike claws.” He shakes his head. “And no, I left her place and came back here to sleep.”

“How romantic. So, she’ll wake up alone after fucking you, and you want to interrogate me?”

“I’m not fucking your best friend.” His eyes narrow. “So, how about you answer me.”

I kind of hate Finn. I know he’s Jase’s best friend. I know Tommy and James love him, and so do Quinn and Logan. But I really kind of fucking hate him.

And then again, I don’t. I know he went through similar things that I did.

“We sleep together every night.”

“I’m not asking if you let him between your legs. I know that. I’m asking if you’re together. If you’re in love with him.”

My heart squeezes tightly in my chest as I place my spoon in my cereal bowl. Love. Love has only ever brought me pain.

I don’t want to love anyone.

I loved my mother. She broke me. I loved Charity. She fucking left me. I loved Trey. He died.

A tear falls from my eye, and I despise that moisture sliding down my cheek, making me seem vulnerable.

“You are, aren’t you?”

I hate this bastard.

I don’t say anything. I just fold my arms over my chest and sit up straight, locking eyes with him.

A sly smile forms on his lips. “Good. I’m glad.”

“You’re glad I love him? I thought you wanted me to stay away from him.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I said don’t hurt him. I don’t want to see him hurt. You love him though.”

“I can still hurt him.”

His gaze darkens. “Don’t.”

I drop my hands and stare at him. “I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t. Just don’t fucking run. He knows you don’t want to be here. I’m pretty sure he loves you too.”

“We barely know each other.”

He rolls his eyes. “Please. He knew you the moment he saw you. He’s good at that.”

I smile. “You’re kind of in love with him too, aren’t you?”

At this, he chuckles and grabs juice from the fridge, turning back to face me. “I treated him like shit when he needed me the most. He was struggling, and I pushed him away.”

“You had your reasons.”

I watch him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat uncomfortably. “It wasn’t right. He’d always been there for me. Always. And when he needed me, when I could have returned the favor, I left him behind. I was a scared little bitch who couldn’t handle seeing him that way.”

I’m not sure I could have either.

I close my eyes, fighting more tears and take a deep breath. “I lost my best friend too. She left, but she never came back.”

I open my eyes and find his intent on me. “She died?”

I shake my head slowly. “I don’t know. She just left. I knew she was in trouble, but I didn’t make her talk to me. And she left.” Pain spreads throughout my heart, and it’s unbearable to think about Charity. “I won’t just run away from Jase. I know that pain.”

He nods, grabbing a glass and pouring juice. “I don’t trust many people, but I believe you. Don’t make me into a chump.”

“Too late.” We both turn as Jase walks into the kitchen. He’s grinning at Finn. “You’ve been a chump since I’ve known you. What are you guys talking about?”

Finn plays it cool, returning the juice back to the fridge. “Wouldn’t you love to know?”

He wags his eyebrows, and I roll my eyes. But then I see Jase is holding my phone. He places it next to me. “You have a missed call.”

I look at the number and huff, locking my phone and taking a bite of my cereal.

I see the men share a look before Jase takes a seat next to me. “Not important?”

“It’s a Kansas City number. I’m sure it’s just a reporter. They probably had another shooting and want to rehash all the old ones, really pull at the heartstrings.”

Finn takes a gulp of the orange juice and wipes his mouth. “Isn’t that good? More press. Maybe they’ll find out who killed your brother.”

I feel Jase’s body tense next to me. “Shut up, man.”

Finn has no filter. Something else to hate, but I actually like that more than the constant coddling. “It’s okay. I can talk about it. But no. Because they don’t care. It just adds more weight to their story.”

“Well maybe it’ll lead to more info.” Finn leans his elbows on the counter, facing me and Jase.

“No one is going to talk. No one who actually knows. It’s code.”

“A code that protects child murderers?” He raises an eyebrow, and I notice Jase’s hands forming tight fists.

“That’s fucked up.”

I don’t argue, but I don’t want to think about this either. “It is what it is.”

Finn finishes his juice and puts the glass in the sink, looking at Jase, “I have the early shift. What about you?”

“Nope. Late shift.”

They bump fists, Finn gives me a tight nod and then leaves. I slowly take bites of my cereal and feel Jase’s gaze on me.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s a shitty thing to think about first thing in the morning.”

“Not the best.” I take a bite and turn to him, crunching my cereal. “It’s okay.”

“You working the late shift or the early one?”

I smile. “Late.”

His hands find my hips as he leans in, dragging his mouth over my neck. “Good. Seems like you’re mine this morning then.”

I sigh, leaning into him. One hand slides under my thin tee and over the lacy cup of my bra, and my lips seek his. My eyes close just as his lips meet mine.

“You know, I could eat breakfast without seeing Mya’s tits.”

Jase groans against my mouth, and I laugh when I hear Tommy. My hand presses against Jase’s chest slightly, urging him back.