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I rubbed my chin, then bent over and scooped up Ame. “I need to get her to bed. We can talk more tomorrow.”
They didn’t argue with me as I collected the baby and her toys. Holding Ame against my chest, I felt tears prick my eyes. Ame’d been rejected and abandoned by her mother because Jenny was a selfish brat. I didn’t miss that irony that Mel had also been rejected and abandoned. All because I was scared to death.
22
Mac
Between Ame, my wolf, and missing Mel, I was a basket case.
After putting Ame down to sleep, I sank into my couch. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d felt so exhausted. Exhausted and unable to sleep. I was barely eating.
My days were filled with an unhappy baby whose life was undergoing a lot of changes. Somewhere along the line, she seemed to have started blaming me. Or maybe I was just the closest one around as she acted out. She growled at me all the time and had recently taken to biting me.
If you think a small mouth with only three teeth didn’t hurt, think again. Those little bites stung, but they hurt my feelings even more. All her little baby frustrations seemed to be coming out at me. I had broad shoulders, I could take it. I only wished I could take all of her burden. It wasn’t right that a little one her age should have anything to cry about except to let me know it was time to eat or change her diaper. I only wished I could take on all her anger and frustrations for her, or that I could communicate to her—let her know that from here on out, I would be her rock. I’d never let her down.
My wolf was another bone of contention. He was still not playing fair. He fought constantly. He stopped refusing to shift and now I struggled against uncontrolled shifts—and at the most inopportune times. No matter how much I told myself it was crazy, I couldn’t help wondering if they were both mad at me for the same thing. I missed Mel too. I could still smell her in my house.
It was late, later than Ame should’ve been up, and I couldn’t stop feeling the worst loneliness creeping over me. It felt like I would be that way forever. The thought of missing Mel this much for the rest of my life gave me chills.
The more time passed, the more my decision made less and less sense. I didn’t know how I could go on feeling the way I did. I’d shunned my mate. Every day was just a replica of the day before. I got up feeling crushed, took care of Ame feeling crushed, went to bed feeling crushed. I worried that I’d been wrong. Even as I thought it, though, I felt the same panic I’d felt the night she’d passed out. I’d been helpless. She could die right in front of me from a cold gone wrong. Humans were so weak.
I sat forward and held my head in my hands. I had to do something. I had to at least check on her. Not knowing how she was doing since she’d left the island was killing me.
Even though I felt like I was breaking the rules I’d set for myself, I pulled out my phone and dialed McClintock. She answered on the second ring and grunted. “What do you want, Mac?”
Groveling had never been my style. “I need your new boyfriend’s number.”
Silence for several seconds. “Is this about Mel?”
“I just need to talk to Ben.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“No. I’m just… I just need to talk to Ben.” I blew out a rough breath. “Okay, yes, it is about Mel. I need to see if she’s okay.”
“News flash, dumbfuck, she’s not. Her mate rejected her. You men. I swear the only reason y’all wear your head on the end of your neck is to make you look taller.” She growled. “I’ll text you his number.”
I hung up and waited for the text. As soon as it came through, I dialed Ben’s number. I couldn’t wait after deciding I was going to check on her.
Ben answered, sounding confused. “Yeah?”
“Ben, it’s Mac.” I started to say more, but he went from zero to furious, protective cousin instantly.
“Oh, you fucker. Why are you calling me? Trying to make sure you did a thorough job of fucking my cousin over?”
I grunted. “How is she?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He swore. “Mel is great. Fantastic. She’s back with her ex and they’re talking about marriage.”
I was on my feet, furious. My wolf howled in my head. “No, she is not.”
“No, she isn’t. She’s pouting and mopey and mourning you, for some god-forsaken reason. She’s fucking depressed as hell, and with every single wedding she sings at, it gets worse. Happy? Or you want to hear more of the gory details of how you snuck out in the middle of the night and trashed a good woman?”
I sank back onto the couch. “No. I don’t want to hear that.”
“Then why are you calling me?”
I searched for the words I wanted to say, but none of them were meant for Ben. They were all for my mate. “I don’t know.”
“Then fuck off.” He hung up on me and left me reeling, wondering what the fuck I was doing.
My phone rang and I answered it, hoping it was Ben again, with advice. “Yeah.”
“How’s Ame?” Heather’s voice was soft, and I knew that Warren was sleeping near her.
“Sleeping. I’m pretty sure she hates me.”
“Get used to it. That’s par for the course when you have a kid.” She sighed. “The lawyer in Seattle called. Jenny stopped in and signed the papers relinquishing parental rights. It’s just a matter of the formal adoption going through the courts, which should only take a matter of
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