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ready to settle down to one thing. He’d dabbled in various business ventures, but none held his attention, not like hockey had. He still struggled, but he’d focused lately on his future, even if I had no idea what his plans were. He didn’t share such things with his daughter.

Both men tag-teamed Patrick on going pro at the end of this school year.

“Listen to Gene, Patrick. He knows what’s best for you,” Mr. Graham insisted. Patrick’s expression was grim. His strained relationship with his father didn’t make these dinners my idea of fun.

“I appreciate your opinion, Mr. Smith,” Patrick said, not wanting to insult his idol.

“I understand. You have to make your own decision, but at the same time, it must be an informed decision.” My dad turned to Mr. Graham. “You know, Graham, you’re one lucky man. You have two hockey-playing sons who’ll be in the NHL soon. Poor Naomi, here, she can’t even skate a foot without falling on her ass.”

“I don’t skate anymore, Dad. So it doesn’t matter.”

He shrugged and frowned.

“Yeah, I’m pretty lucky the boys inherited my athletic talent, especially Patrick.” Mr. Graham beamed with rare pride. I caught Patrick’s surprised glance. He wasn’t used to hearing any kind of praise from this man.

“Paxton is good,” I argued, drawing disapproving glances from both fathers. I guess I was to be seen and not heard.

“Yeah, Pax is a far better player than you give him credit for, Dad.” Patrick jumped to Pax’s defense, and we shared a conspiratorial wink.

“Pax isn’t you.” And that was all Mr. Graham had to say about his other son. The conversation turned to the current college season and who was likely to give Moo U a run for their money in the Frozen Four. Patrick and I exchanged glances of mutual suffering. This night couldn’t end soon enough for me.

Finally, we were in a taxi and headed back to the hotel.

Patrick and I burst out the taxi and hurried into the hotel, grateful to be freed from parental hell.

“I could use a drink,” I exclaimed.

“Me, too. Come on, I’ll buy you a tall one.”

I sat down in a booth, and Patrick went to the bar to get our drinks. He returned and sat across from me.

“For the record, I wasn’t angling for an invitation. I—I was just expressing how relieved I was to be out of the company of those two men.”

“Tell me about it. They’re both overbearing, but my dad is groveling at your dad’s feet. I want to gag.”

“And my dad is lapping up the admiration. It’s disgusting.”

“They’re both disgusting.”

“I thought you worshipped my father?” I teased, and Patrick grinned guilelessly.

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, your dad has done a lot for my game, and he’s been really good to me, but…”

“I know, a little of him goes a long way,” I finished for him, letting him off the hook.

“That’s an understatement.”

We laughed together. It was one of those moments when everything was right. We enjoyed each other’s company, but something was missing.

I waited for that something to happen.

And waited.

And waited.

Nothing.

Not a damn fucking thing.

No heart pounding, no butterflies fluttering in my gut, no girlie parts responding to the pure magnetism of this man. I didn’t get it. How had I fallen out of infatuation with Patrick before we’d gone on one date? He was the same guy he’d always been.

It was me.

I was different.

Sleeping with Paxton had been life-changing, and my once wandering eye and ravenous palate only wanted what Pax served.

“If our dads had their way, we’d be married off already,” I noted with a wry snort.

“And I can’t even get you to go on a date with me,” Patrick said. He studied my face, as if I were a creature he was seeking to understand.

“I know I’ve been evasive.”

“I thought you were into me.”

“I was. I mean, I thought I was.”

He frowned, as if he’d never had a woman say such a thing to him before. “And now?”

“I think I’m sitting here with the wrong twin.”

His smile was slow and knowing, and he nodded. “I thought so, but Pax keeps denying you two have anything going. In fact, he’s been pushing me toward you.”

“Me, too.”

“Something’s going on with him, and he’s not filling me in.” I heard the hurt in Patrick’s voice and my heart went out to him. I could only imagine how it felt to have someone so close to you all your life and feel him pulling away. Pax was pulling away from both of us. I wasn’t sure I was going to let him.

“I’m sorry, Patrick. No hard feelings.”

“Absolutely none. My brother’s a great guy. Next to me, you couldn’t find a better guy, even if he has been a douche lately.”

“Maybe you’re the douche.”

“Maybe.” He grinned at me, and I laughed. “If you don’t mind me asking, what changed?”

I considered his question for a long moment as the answer came to me as clear as day.

“I did.”

Patrick grinned and held up his glass. We clinked glasses, and he winked at me. “My brother is a lucky guy.”

I laughed. “You think?”

“I know.”

The weight that’d been dragging me down disappeared. I’d made my choice. Now to figure out my next move.

20

I Believe

Paxton

After Friday’s game, Naomi had invited me to join her dad, my dad, and Patrick for dinner, and my dad uninvited me, adding one more humiliating experience involving Naomi. As usual, my old man sucked the joy right out of me, and I slunk off to lick my wounds. I hated the pity in Naomi’s eyes and the sympathy in my brother’s.

My personal life had taken on a downward spiral, but my hockey life began to gather steam. Patrick and I didn’t have long, meaningful, sometimes heated discussions late into the night like we used to or talk trash while playing video games. We were as polite AF, and I hated it. Naomi and I traveled the same polite road of denial.

My game had started to click Friday night.

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