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happened. Life’s for the living. Ain’t that what they say?”

“I reckon they do, but we don’t pretend shit never happened. I mean, every time you come home, it’s just gonna be you and Ben. You can’t …”

“Ben. Right. You know, he told me yesterday we can’t afford the house. There’s no money. He talked to the lawyer. Dude said if they did put anything away for us, they didn’t tell him. Ben went through all their shit. They left one grand in the bank and a second mortgage on the house. We’re fucked.”

“How long?”

“Dunno. Said he’d talk to a real estate agent. But he said the market’s bad if you’re selling a murder house. Coop, it’s like they didn’t care. Made everybody think they were all high and mighty, but it was just a scam.”

“No life insurance? Everybody’s got insurance, right?”

“Not the Sheridans. Planning for the future weren’t their gig.”

The picture grew darker than Michael realized, and they still hadn’t touched on the most sensitive topic. He tried to drop hope into the mix.

“J, I’m sure Ben will figure out something. He’s got a good head on his shoulders, and you’re his little bro. He’ll look out for you. Soon as the town knows what you guys are going through, people will step up. You’ll see.”

“What people?”

“Dunno. How about the Hugginses? They look like they got it made, and they were pretty much your parents’ best friends, right?”

“Yeah, dude. Sure. I can see it now. Walt Huggins inviting us to live with them and Sammie. Not in this fucking universe.”

“Maybe not. But they could always loan you guys money. Or you could keep bunking with me. Going back to your house? Dude. It’s creepy. I’ll bet if I asked my folks about …”

Jamie interrupted, as if he hadn’t heard a word.

“Sammie? Jesus. She calls like twenty times a day. I got all these messages. I’m wanna tell her to leave me the hell alone.”

“Yeah, but you won’t cause you know she’s sweet on you, and she ain’t never done you wrong. I reckon she’d probably crawl through broken glass if you asked real nice.”

Jamie laid back on the boulder and smoked.

“She’s weird, Coop. Something off about all them Hugginses.”

“That’s what you say about everybody in town.”

“Pretty much. I like Iggy Horne. He’s cool. Seems like he cares.”

“As cops go, I reckon he’s a stand-up guy. But look, J. I’m just saying things’ll work out for you and Ben. Don’t be so damn proud you don’t ask for a little help. That’s all.”

Michael leaned back beside his best friend and studied the clouds. They shared the joint until it was cooked. After a long, stale silence, Jamie surprised Michael.

“You wanna know why I did it. That’s why we’re here. Right?”

“Only if you want to talk about it, J.”

“I saw the way everybody looked at me during the funeral. Wondering if I’ll flip out again. Making my reservation for the loony bin.”

“No, man. Folks understand. You were in shock. It’s just … well, it ain’t the way people in shock usually act. Especially a kid. That’s all.”

“Maybe more folks ought to try it. Get all that shit off their chest.”

“Don’t know about that.” Jamie was right; Michael had been trying to steer the conversation toward the day after the killings. The eyewitness stories were rampant, the rumors worse, and neither Jamie nor Ben seemed willing to talk about it. Little towns like Albion thrived on gossip, and what really happened would turn into local mythology without the truth.

“Ain’t much to tell,” Jamie said. “I lost my shit. Fact is, I don’t even remember most of it.”

“Seriously? J, when you heard they arrested that asshole, you took a baseball bat out of my closet and ran all the way to the sheriff’s office. They said you ran in there, all wide-eyed looking like a demon or some shit. Woulda killed the asshole if he weren’t locked up. You were swinging at anybody who got near you. One deputy nearabout pulled his gun. And you saying you don’t remember most of it?”

“Like a demon? Who said?”

“Iggy Horne. And he only told me because he’s worried about you, and he knows how close we are.”

Jamie sat up, threw off his cap, and pulled up his t-shirt.

“I like Iggy, but he needs to keep his mouth shut. Whatever, dude.” He laid his t-shirt on the boulder and reached for his sneakers.

“Don’t dude me. That was a mile run, and folks say you were screaming the whole way. This was more than losing your shit.”

Jamie removed his shoes, his jeans, and his briefs without comment. A lanky figure, he jumped into the river and raced out to the deepest channel, up to his chest.

“Fuck this town,” he said, before dunking himself.

As he waited for Jamie to emerge, Michael knew he’d gone too far.

“OK, fine. It was too soon. I’m an asshole.”

When Jamie resurfaced and pushed the hair out of his face, he offered Michael a blank stare.

“Coop. What am I supposed to say? If I tell people the truth, they’ll know I’m nuts. Just let them think whatever.”

“You can tell me the truth. Jamie, you’re my No. 1. Right?”

“That’s what you tell me. But if you think I’m right fit for the nuthouse, you’ll do like all the others and turn tail.”

“Really, J? After all we been through? Don’t say that shit.”

Michael watched as Jamie softened his stare. Jamie wrapped his arms tight against his chest.

“Damn water’s freezing, Coop.”

“Sure is, dumbass. Spring don’t even start for a week.”

Jamie trudged out, shivering as he reached for his clothes.

“The hell’s wrong with me, Coop?” He pulled on his briefs and jeans. He looked away from Michael.

“So, um, there this was

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