Ahead of his Time Adrian Cousins (most recommended books TXT) 📖

hello,” I smiled, not sure what else to come up with. Although I’d improved and was now much more engaging in social settings, this was awkward. Fortunately, after a slow start, Jess had verbal diarrhoea.

It was clear from the conversation her relationship with her mother wasn’t a good one, but she was very keen to hear about how her mother and I’d met at university. Of course, I had no bloody idea and kept my answers vague. Concerningly, I discovered that Jess and her mother had returned to Fairfield ten years ago, and Grace now lived in the old town. As we’d never met and not wishing to impersonate other Jason more than was necessary, I would need to try and avoid her. However, as I had no idea what she looked like, that would be tricky and added another issue to my disastrous-issues-to-resolve list, which was exponentially growing.

As I feared, Jess lived in a flat on the Broxworth Estate, and after extracting Don and Beth from there last year, I was concerned to have another connection to that God-awful place. Jess had attended the City School, like me, and every other bugger I seemed to be meeting. She now worked part-time in a second-hand book store in the old town. Reading between the lines, I got the distinct impression she heavily relied on hand-outs from her mother, who’d carved out a successful career for herself, putting that first above Jess or building any other relationships after other Jason had left.

Jess didn’t seem to blame me for leaving her mother and felt that I was best away from her, as she said she was impossible to get along with. Overall, I liked Jess. She was easy to talk to, with a relaxed attitude. I had this niggling thought that I knew her or had seen her before, and more than once. I couldn't place it, so put it down to this strange situation that she was my daughter, but not, therefore it was my mind tricking me into thinking that she looked familiar.

We both didn’t know what we wanted from our relationship and, when I asked why she’d now made contact, she was at first cagey with her reply. I sensed she had a specific reason for unearthing me at this point, so I pushed her on it when she returned from the toilets. The Dewhurst butchers had gone leaving only the two of us and the landlady at the bar.

“I got you another orange juice.”

“Thanks, Dad … is it okay to call you that?” She flashed a cheeky smile, looking out of the corner of her eye as she lit her cigarette.

“Um … err, well—”

Jess waved her hand which was holding the cigarette. Propping her chin up with the heel of her other hand, she balanced her elbow on her knee, which now jiggled up and down. She was either nervous or needed to revisit the toilets. “No, I’m only joking – it is an odd situation, though.”

“Why now, Jess? You didn’t really answer me when I asked earlier.”

Jess continued jiggling her leg, blew a plume of smoke towards the ceiling and turned to look at me. “Because you’re going to be a grandfather.”

“Oh, wow! Well, congratulations … you didn’t mention a partner—”

“Odd word … you mean a husband or boyfriend, I presume?”

“Yes.”

“Well, yes, the father is unfortunately not going to be around. He will be in the future. We love each other, and he’ll be there for the child when … when he can.”

“Does he work away?”

“Uh-huh, something like that.” Jess dropped her eyes and wiped some imaginary dirt from her boots.

“I can help. You know, financially. I don’t want to interfere, but I’m in a position to help.”

“Maybe … maybe … but that’s not why I wanted to meet you … it was more about … well, I thought you should know.”

“Yes, I’m so glad you did. I want to apologise for not being a father to you, causing you to grow up in a single-parent family. That was wrong, and I’m sorry.” Well, it felt the right thing to say, and if other Jason sat here and not me, perhaps that’s what he’d have said. I certainly wasn’t pleased she’d made contact, though, as it was just piling on the problems I now faced. Although George and I knew she was not my daughter, as far as the rest of the world was concerned, she was.

Jess shrugged and stubbed her cigarette out. “Hey, it’s no big deal. I’m cool with it.”

“You really shouldn’t smoke whilst you’re pregnant. It’ll harm the baby.”

“Ha, didn’t harm me. Mum used to smoke like a chimney. Anyway, that’s all a conspiracy theory. Ciggies aren’t that bad for you.”

Clearly, I wasn’t going to convince her, not in this era.

“Can we meet up again? Perhaps I could meet your wife, and you know, my half brother and sister?”

“Jess … it's complicated at the moment. I need to tread carefully when I tell my wife about this.”

“Fuck, she doesn’t know?” Jess plucked another cigarette out of her packet. “You really are a secretive one, aren’t you?” Jess grinned, looking intrigued as she could see I was starting to squirm.

Shaking my head, I declined the offer of a cigarette as she lit hers and started her knee jiggling routine.

“Jess, give me a few weeks, and then we can meet again. All I ask is for a little time. Have you told your mother we’re meeting?” Concerned that this Grace Redmond would surface to cause more problems, which would be the tipping point on my ability to cope at the moment.

“No, she probably thinks you still live in South Africa.”

“Okay. Can we keep it that way for now?”

“Yup. I’ve no need to tell her. If she asks if I’ve found you yet, I’ll just lie.”

“Jess, thank you. Look, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to go now. Do you have a phone number I can contact you on?”

She shook her head, looking down at her