Little Squirrels Can Climb Tall Trees Michael Murphy (acx book reading TXT) 📖

but you know your father hates to spend money.” She paused for a moment. “We should have been there. It was wrong for me to let him talk me out of going because it cost too much. You’re the only son we’re ever gonna have graduate from Harvard Medical School! That was such a huge day.”

Kyle told me that he was speechless to hear what his mother had told him, to the point that he was starting to wonder if he’d accidentally picked up someone else’s mother who just happened to look like his mother. I think that this is what threw him off his game. I can’t think of another reason why he would have done what he did next. What my guy did was to open his mouth and stick both of his feet inside.

“Mama, is your group going to dinner tonight someplace special?”

“They’ve booked some Chinese restaurant. Chinese! Are you inviting me to dinner?”

“Yes. I’d like to take you to a steakhouse I know that I think you’d enjoy. I get off work at seven tonight. I can come pick you up….”

“No. It would probably be easier if I came back here and met you. You’ll have been working all day.”

“Okay. And I’d like to invite a friend to join us.”

“A friend?”

“Yeah. My best friend.”

“Okay.” He told me that it was no mystery to him that his mother desperately wanted to know more, but that he wouldn’t go into any detail with her. “I’ll be here at seven. Bring your friend and we’ll all go eat together. Now, I better run if I want to get on the bus to see Ground Zero, and I don’t want to miss that.”

The minute that she was out the door, Kyle was on the phone to me. I’d been waiting, hoping he would call, so I answered on the first ring.

“Hey, babe, what’s up?”

“I’m going to hell—and I’d like to invite you to join me on the journey.”

You didn’t get an invitation like that every day. “Okay. Care to explain?”

“I’m taking you and my mother to dinner tonight.”

I wasn’t sure if Kyle was joking or not. “Okay.”

“Can you meet us at Shaw’s at seven thirty?”

“Absolutely. Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m probably insane. But yes.”

“Okay. I’ll be there, and I’ll follow your lead. Whatever you want.”

“Love you, Squirrel.”

“You too, my redwood.”

“Redwood?”

“Yeah, redwood. Like the tree. Big and strong and tall. People come from miles around to admire them.”

“I’m going now. Redwood? Okay, I guess.”

Chapter 15

THAT evening, after he spent a busy day in the ER, Kyle’s mother was back at precisely seven o’clock. Together they took a cab across town to the restaurant Kyle had selected. He had called earlier to make a reservation for the three of us. Since traffic wasn’t too bad, they actually arrived a few minutes early. Usually he would have gone to the bar to wait for me, but Kyle knew his mother wouldn’t approve of alcohol and wouldn’t be comfortable in a bar.

They were seated in a lovely wooden booth that left plenty of room for me to sit beside Kyle when I arrived. Kyle’s mother gushed with praise about the room and how beautiful it looked. Kyle said he hadn’t been there in a couple of months. The last time he’d been there, some pharmaceutical rep had been taking a bunch of baby docs (junior physicians, not pediatricians) out to dinner to extol the virtues of some wonder drug they marketed. Kyle had thought his mother would approve, and so far she seemed to wholeheartedly.

Kyle told me later that he had been absolutely terrified waiting for me to arrive. He only half listened to his mother while secretly berating himself for inviting me in a moment of weakness and extremely poor judgment. He was absolutely convinced that the evening was going to turn into an unmitigated disaster of monumental proportions.

A few moments later, the fate was sealed when I arrived. If I may say so—and since I’m telling the story, I get to say so—I looked absolutely ravishing, decked out in a tailored suit, beautiful tie, cufflinks that seemed to sparkle, and shoes that were shined to within an inch of their existence. Damn! I looked good. All right. The clothes looked good, and they just carried me along for the ride. I approached the table and looked to Kyle for guidance.

“Mama, I’d like to introduce you to my best friend, Joseph. Joseph, this is my mother.”

“I’m very pleased to meet you,” I said politely while shaking the woman’s hand. It was clear to see that his mother had been expecting someone else. It was only later that it occurred to me that she had been hoping I was a female. But I was definitely male, as we could all see. No, I didn’t whip it out and show it off! Jessh! No, I just exuded masculinity. Okay. Not buying it? Neither am I. Moving on.

I took a seat next to Kyle and joined the two of them in looking at the menu.

“Good heavens!” his mother exclaimed.

“Don’t look at the prices, Mom,” Kyle said without even looking up.

“How can I not? I mean, forty-six dollars for a steak? Goodness gracious!”

“I’ve heard the steaks here are incredible,” I said, attempting to placate the woman. Kyle didn’t even try.

“For those prices they should hand-feed the cows and gently nurture them until it’s time to butcher them.”

“Nice,” I said to myself. What I really wanted to say was, “Jesus, woman! What a fucking image!”

When we finally got Kyle’s mother to focus on the choices and not complain too much about the prices, we all made selections and placed our orders. I tried to break the ice and take some pressure off my guy by asking what the woman had done that day, being careful to not ask whether or not she approved of it or liked it, only what she had done.

“Well, first this morning they took us to Ground Zero, and we got to