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Reed as much, from the get-go.

ā€œBut since you are here, against my will,ā€ he spits out, ā€œyou should be kissing my goddamned ass, not ripping it a new assholeā€”and especially not in front of the entire crew.ā€ He motions to the flabbergasted crowd of people standing around us, their mouths hanging openā€”a group that now includes not only staff and crew, but the members of Fugitive Summer, as well. ā€œKnow your place, Laila. Or, I assure you, you can and will be replaced.ā€ He smiles at whatever panic heā€™s seeing on my face. ā€œYou think youā€™re the one who makes every single one of these peopleā€™s paychecks possible? You think the fans in this stadium paid to see you? Think again!ā€

He steps forward, closing the already small gap between us, and gets right into my face.

ā€œNow, why donā€™t you go to your dressing room and have your little glass of white wine and call your asshole boyfriend to tell him about me being a big, fat meanie to you tonight. Actually, I donā€™t care what you do, as long as you stay the fuck out my way for the rest of the night, so I donā€™t cut your ass from the tour, just to teach you a much-needed lesson in humility.ā€ He exhales, and his warm breath releases onto my face. ā€œNow, if youā€™ll excuse me, itā€™s time for me to head onstage to entertain the thousands of people who came out tonight to watch me shake my ass like a motherfucking rockstar clichĆ©.ā€

Fifteen

Savage

Phoenix, Arizona

When Kendrick and I step outside the door of his hotel suite, the moonlit air feels unexpectedly warm for this late hour.

ā€œThanks for the birthday party, brother,ā€ I say, gripping Kendrickā€™s sideways palm.

After releasing my hand, Kendrick looks around at the moonlit night and winces. ā€œItā€™s still hot as an oven out here, at this hour?ā€

ā€œWelcome to Phoenix,ā€ I quip. As Kendrick knows, I spent my earliest years in this oven of a city, before moving to Chicago at age twelve to live with my grandma in her apartment complex, which was where I met the Cook brothers, whose family lived down the hall.

ā€œYou were ruthless in ā€˜Birthday Truth or Dareā€™ tonight,ā€ Kendrick says, laughing.

I shake my head. ā€œYou were way more ruthless on your birthday. Surely, making the head of our label hate my guts is far worse than me making you briefly turn your balls into cucumber slices at the spa.ā€

We laugh together, both of us reliving tonightā€™s silliness. After Kai had passed out on the couch in Kendrickā€™s suite, I dared my best friend to whip out his balls and rest them onto his brotherā€™s sleeping eyelidsā€”you know, as if Kai were a customer at a spa and Kendrickā€™s balls were a couple of cucumber slices. And thanks to the rules of our game, Kendrick couldnā€™t refuse. In fact, the dude is such a good sport he even went so far as to remain in that compromised position for a full minute, albeit with his large hands covering his dong, and invited everyone at the party to snap close-up shots of his brotherā€™s ball-covered face.

It was priceless. Easily, the highlight of my birthday party. The lowlight, however? Laila not showing up, despite Kendrick extending an invitation to her. I donā€™t blame her, of course. I knew the odds were low sheā€™d come, given that she now hates me passionately. The thing is, as much as Iā€™ve purposefully tried to make Laila hate me for weeks now, for reasons only a clinical psychologist would be able to explain to me, I realized tonight, rather starkly, while looking around at the people at my birthday party, I desperately wanted Laila to be there. I realized, in fact, that Iā€™d very much like a do-over now, please. Iā€™d very much like Laila to stop hating me now, please. The only problem? I have no idea how to dig myself out of this stupid hole Iā€™ve been expertly digging for weeks. I wanted Laila to hate me with the force of a thousand suns? Well, mission accomplished.

Kendrick yawns. ā€œIā€™m gonna head inside now, before Tracy falls asleep. Goodnight, brother.ā€

Heā€™s talking about our tour manager. For the past week or so, Kendrick has been having a ā€œtour flingā€ with her, which seems to imply heā€™s finally given up on waiting for Laila to break up with Malik. Surely, itā€™s no coincidence Iā€™m only now regretting my strategy with Laila, after it seems crystal clear my best friend has finally taken himself out of the hunt.

To be honest, I would have bet any amount of money Laila would have ditched Malikā€™s trashy ass by now. And yet, every single time Iā€™ve walked past her in a hallway, or overheard her as sheā€™s stood nearby, sheā€™s always on her phone, talking with Malik. Giggling with him. Saying stuff like, ā€œOh, Malik! Youā€™re so bad, baby!ā€

Itā€™s the main reason I havenā€™t swallowed my pride and extended an olive branch to Laila yet. Simply because Iā€™m so shocked and appalled and downright pissed sheā€™s still giving Malik the time of day. Whatā€™s wrong with her? But suddenly, now that Iā€™m drunk again, for the first time since New Yorkā€”only this time, thankfully, a happy kind of drunkā€”a birthday boy kind of drunkā€”I feel ready to swallow my pride and finally bury the hatchet with Laila. Now that Kendrick is sleeping with Tracy, and heā€™s finally out of my way, Iā€™ve decided to go for it, in earnest. I donā€™t care if sheā€™s still with Malik. Mr. Basketball isnā€™t here. And I am.

ā€œGoodnight, brother,ā€ I reply to Kendrick, waving to him. ā€œSee you at the buses at nine.ā€

Kendrick exhales. ā€œEight!ā€

ā€œThat was a joke.ā€

Kendrick rolls his eyes. ā€œYou never know with you. Seriously, donā€™t be late this time, Savage. Everyone is starting to get annoyed with you for being late so much. Not just Laila.ā€

ā€œYeah, okay. Iā€™ll stop being an asshole. I was actually thinking of extending an olive branch to Laila.ā€

ā€œYeah,

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