N87 Virus | Book 1 | After the Outbreak Kadin, Karri (booksvooks TXT) 📖

had described it to Dave and Sandra and they had narrowed the possibilities down to a few towns, all of which happened to be in the direction the black truck went. She leaned back and thought about Dave’s advice to her. He was right in telling her she needed to be careful, that not everyone would want her apology. Things at Apple Acre Farm could have gone so much worse and her future interactions could end in disaster. Telling the boy’s father she was sorry had not made her feel better, it had not relieved her guilt, and it had definitely not helped him. She now had more guilt. Guilt ate away at her, leaving a sinking hole that grew bigger with each flashback, each realization that her actions had consequences that far outreached anything she could imagine, and with each nightmare that flooded her mind while she slept. Asleep or awake, she couldn’t escape the harsh truth that she was a monster.

When she killed that boy she ultimately killed his mother too. Yet another nameless victim to add to Allison’s nightmares. This burning hole in the center of her consumed every decent part of Allison and replaced it with a monster. There was more of the monster now than of the girl she had been. Every time she felt the now-familiar rage building in her core, she knew the hole was growing. Soon there would be nothing of Allison left. I should have died. My life only brings hurt. Even my apologies bring hurt. I have nothing to offer.

Allison thought of her family. The family that would never look at her the same way once they knew what she was, what she had done. The family that would be in danger either from her or Dr. Neff if she ever even found them. Her throat tightened, burning with each breath she took. Allison placed her hand at her waist, resting it on the gun at her hip.

Allison thought of Gabby. Gabby who could never bare her soul, as best friends do, to the monster Allison had become. Her body convulsed in sobs, streams of tears running down her cheeks. Allison pulled the gun from her waistband. No one could ever forgive me. Being alive puts everyone I care about at risk.

She raised the gun, pushing the cool metal barrel under her chin. Her skin quivered under the pressure from the barrel as her pulse quickened from the sudden rush of adrenaline pumped into her system. Tears filled her eyes as she placed her shaky finger on the trigger. Everyone would be better off without me. Allison closed her eyes as she pulled the trigger.

Nothing. No click. No pain. No loud bang. Allison opened her eyes and looked at the shiny gun in her hand. She had forgotten to rack the slide, so no bullet had entered the chamber. Allison’s body shook as relief flooded her. Relief that she was still alive. Relief that she still had choices despite how difficult they were. Tears streamed down her face, mixing with snot as she sobbed against the steering wheel. Dave and Sandra believe I have something to offer. Believe that my life is worth something. They would miss me. Allison needed to know what she had left to offer this world. She would face whatever she needed to face to know the answer, including her past. She turned the ignition and pulled back onto the road.

She drove into a town and saw a cheerful sign with a smiling bear and tall trees on it. “Welcome to North Bend, Home of the Fighting Bears, Population 4,000.” The community was completely deserted. Abandoned cars were in the middle of the road, some doors to homes were standing open, not even an animal roamed the street. It’s like a scene in a movie when the main character realizes they are the last person left. Each building had a red X on it, usually on the door. Maybe a sign that this area had been cleared by Collectors, but who knew how long ago that was? Infected could have come back into the town since then. Spikes and sandbag walls surrounded a few of the community buildings. The sandbags were stacked higher than she was tall, and in front of the courthouse an old cannon sat near a pile of homemade cannonballs. Some spikes had skeletons still impaled on them, probably Infected. There were burn piles around town full of ash and charred bone. The Fighting Bears had put up one hell of a fight when the shit hit the fan. Allison hoped they had won, but considering the emptiness of the town now, it had probably fallen in the very start of the outbreak.

Allison took her time and slowly drove down every street, sometimes twice, looking for something familiar from her flashback. After an hour of searching the little town she realized it was not where she had attacked the family. She marked it off her list and headed back to the main road out of town.

The next town was only a ten-minute drive away. She consulted her map and her notes from Dave and Sandra as she drove, double checking that she was going the correct way. She glanced in her rear-view mirror out of habit and in the distance saw a black vehicle behind her. Is that the same truck? No, they left the rest area before me, so they wouldn’t be behind me now, right? Sweat rimmed her brow and her chest tightened. Allison made a mental note to check her surroundings better. The next town was also abandoned and also a bust. Allison recognized nothing there.

She pulled off into a shaded area behind some trees to eat her lunch. She reviewed her notes and the map and realized to get to her next spot she had to travel through a highly infected area or take the long way that would add days to her journey and take her