Wicked Whoopie Pies Addison Moore (the false prince series TXT) 📖

purple stars appears around Charlie just as Stinky Binky materializes wrapped around my sister’s shoulders like a fancy, albeit furry black and white scarf.

“Did I miss anything?” The fuzzy specter gently fans my sister with her long plume of a tail.

“We’re just getting to the good part,” Charlie tells the little beast as she strokes her tail and kisses her nose.

Cormack leans her way. “Oh, is Binky here?” She blows a little kiss in Charlie’s direction.

It seems Charlie shares Carlotta’s indifference when it comes to outing the dead.

“The case is going swimmingly,” I tell Wiley. “We know the victim was poisoned.” I point over at Noah. “I’m assuming the toxin was administered via her coffee?”

“Oh dear.” Binky’s fur stands on end just the way it does with my sweet cats whenever they get a good fright. “Terri hated poison. She said that’s why she had to have my stinker removed.”

Noah’s cheeks flex my way. “Most likely.” He still looks morbidly ticked at his father.

Binky swats me on the head with her tail and not in the nice way she was fanning my sister just a moment ago.

“Charlie was right, Lottie,” Binky says with a growl. “You are a bit slow. Go on and ask him about looking into her case further. We must speed this along if justice is to be served. Charlie here let me know that after three days have passed, there’s very little hope of a homicide being solved.”

My mouth falls open as I look to my sister.

Slow?

I shake my head before turning my attention elsewhere.

“Hey, Noah. How’s that search warrant coming?” I turn to Wiley. “The victim, Terri Norris, had someone leaving her nasty notes on her windshield. She shared one with me just before she passed away that day. Anyway, she mentioned she had an entire drawer full of them at home.”

“Don’t worry about the warrant, Lot,” Noah says. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m not letting you tag along when the time comes.”

“What?” I jump in my seat a little, incensed that he’d even entertain the thought of revoking his offer. “Noah, I’m coming with you.”

“I said no,” he snaps, his eyes sharp and hard.

A thick silence falls over the table for a moment.

Charlie tips her head my way. “We don’t need him.”

Darn tootin’, I want to say.

“You’ve got me,” Binky is quick to assert. “I’m an expert at prowling around under the cover of night. But since I’ve lost my stinker to stave off predators, I suggest you bring something along to do just that.”

I nod her way.

I’m not proud to say I’ve done a little breaking and entering before. Nothing I want to make known at the table, though. However, a majority of people here has been present when I’ve jumped into the deep end of dicey legal waters. And thankfully, Noah and Everett have been kind enough to look the other way.

Hey? Carlotta is right. I’m pretty lucky to have a cop and a judge in my back pocket. Even if the cop is sort of iffy at the moment.

“Hear that, Lemon?” Everett raises a brow in Noah’s direction. “You dodged life with a dictator.” His chest rumbles with a dry laugh that never quite initiates. “He’s just letting his true colors fly. Turns out, he’s a bratwurst—emphasis on brat.”

“Bratwurst?” Noah glares over at his old stepbrother. “Like you would know.”

“I would know.” Everett glowers right back. “We had gym class at the same time my senior year.”

I turn to Charlie. “I didn’t think anyone had gym class their senior year.”

“I wouldn’t know.” She spears Carlotta with a look. “I dropped out.”

My mouth falls open. “You dropped out of high school?” I whisper because at the moment I don’t think another soul heard her comment.

Her eyes travel up and down my body with a clear mark of irritation.

“I never went to high school.”

I suck in a quick breath as I turn to Carlotta, but she’s too busy gawking at Noah to see what he’ll say next.

Noah squints out a barely-there smile at Everett. “You saw me in gym? Maybe you took it at the same time so you could see my bratwurst.”

“I had water polo,” Everett growls. “You were the one who liked balls.”

Noah chokes as he looks my way. “Football and basketball.”

“That’s right.” Wiley gives a wistful tick of the head. “My boys were all about the sports.” He looks to my mother. “They get their athletic prowess from me, you know.”

Mom’s shoulders shimmy. “You’ll have to show me some of that athletic prowess a little later.”

“Mother.” I’d swat her if she were within striking distance. As it stands, she’s safely tucked clear across the table.

“I meant on the dance floor.” She winks at Wiley as she says it because clearly she did not.

Carlotta barks out a laugh. “Lot Lot’s seen their prowess, but it wasn’t on the dance floor. Lot prefers to dance between the sheets. She gets that prowess from me.”

“As do I.” Charlie winks her way.

Thankfully, the food arrives with an entire cavalry of waiters and waitresses to land the smoky feast at our table with enough ribs, sausages, beef and pork barbecue sandwiches, collard greens, baked beans bathing in spicy barbecue sauce, and creamy garlic mashed potatoes to last us until Christmas.

Noah points to Everett. “We’ll settle this with a game of Meteorite after dinner. Prepare to have your ego and your breakfast sausage deflated.”

A smile twitches on Everett’s lips as he continues to glare over at Noah—a neat trick when you think about it.

“Kielbasa.” Everett stabs a piece of that salty sausage with his fork and lands it on my plate. “Lemon’s favorite.”

Carlotta’s mouth falls open. “You’re an overachiever in every department, aren’t ya, Sexy?”

Charlie wiggles in her seat his way. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

“The heck you will.” I’m not above cutting a sister if she tries to take a bite from my proverbial dinner, and I’m including Noah in that meal as well.

The entire table dives into the feast at once.

“Hey, Lot,” Carlotta