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Book online «Best British Short Stories 2020 Nicholas Royle (best way to read ebooks txt) 📖». Author Nicholas Royle



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stuffed toy animals

3 IKEA bags cont. medium stuffed toy animals

9 Really Useful storage boxes cont. asstd. Lancashire Life and various weekend supplements

1 hanging rail cont. duffel coats (size L), anoraks (size L– XXL, various autumnal shades), leather jackets (black, size L–XXL)

1 green wheelie bin cont. asstd. computers, laptops and electronic components

7 Aldi wheeled shopping baskets cont. leads and chargers

9 broken Dyson Vacuums. Models DC07 x 2, DC14, DC15, DC17 x 3, DC18 x 2

Nail cuttings in a Duerr’s fine-cut marmalade jar

We are the answer to all your storage needs. With 24-hour onsite security and CCTV monitoring across our premises, you will have peace of mind that your goods are in safe hands. Free from sorrow, free from hidden service charges.

Please note that we cannot accept flammable, perishable, live or illegal goods. UNIT 97

1 Persian rug, circa 1890. Rolled

1 Edwardian dining table and ten upholstered chairs

1 portrait, oil on canvas. Woman w/auburn hair and amber beads

9 pairs damask curtains. Plum w/gold-trim tassels

1 four-poster bed. Oak, late Victorian

1 roll top mahogany bureau with inlaid leather gold leaf detail. Secret drawer

1 set of National Geographic. Ed. April 1950 – December 1991

1 Tupperware box cont. hair and dust – labelled ‘Sweepings’

2 picnic baskets cont. asstd. silver-plate items …

Read our great customer reviews! Find us on Trust Pilot. Our customers come back time and again. Each walled-off pod is your own private world. We are only here to help you to fulfil your storage needs. We care about you. We see how fearful you are of forgetting.

Late payment fees apply. Responsibility for insuring possessions remains with the customer. UNIT 87

122 cans Tesco Value baked beans

122 tins John West tuna chunks

122 tins Princes corned beef

12 bags Aldi Family bag penne pasta

12 bags Aldi Family bag quick-cook rice

12 boxes Tesco Value Paracetamol

12 boxes Tesco Value Multivitamin

12 bottles Pouilly-Fumé 2017 Ladoucette

12 bottles Rioja Reserva Viña Ardanza 2009 La Rioja Alta

12 bottles Châteauneuf-du-Pape Prestige Des Princes 2016

24 bottles Laurent-Perrier 2008 Champagne

1 Multitool w/bottle opener

1 axe …

In our fully air-conditioned units, your possessions there, for ever purified. We are a hive, honeycombed cells holding your collective dust. Each one sings sad lullabies that map your route back. UNIT 77

9 Staples file storage boxes cont. foolscap suspension files

1 five-drawer filing cabinet. Red w/sticking bottom drawer

6 reams of Staples economy-quality computer paper

2 office chairs. Charcoal grey

1 box of flyers. ‘Freedom Financial Solutions – We’ll make your money work for you’ …

We know your possessions are important to you …

We hear you, valued customer. The corrugated door rolling open is a sigh. You pause, before your footsteps crunch over the unit floor. Come to our own temple. Come. UNIT 323

1 Berketex gown ‘Rosetta’ on cream satinette hanger. Size 14 w/tags

1 pair white diamante studded slingbacks size 6 w/labels

14 ornamental birdcages

3 gold-effect flower pedestals

150 satin-look polyester dusky pink chair covers (packs of 10. Sealed.) …

Each unit is a harvest and a grave. Wheat and tares together sown. All is safely gathered in, ere the winter sales begin. UNIT 322

1 metal rack storage system cont. asstd. vintage board games, jigsaw puzzles of world landmarks and countryside scenes and a Chemcraft chemistry set circa 1950

1 bisque porcelain doll – name tag ‘Elise’ – w/real blonde hair, wax arms and legs

3 medium boxes cont. Dinky toys. Varied condition 1935–1976

1 fruit crate cont. Gainsborough pink rose-pattern tea set. Missing sugar bowl

1 Willow Pattern serving platter. Circa 1980

1 tissue-wrapped monkey with cymbals. Batteries missing

1 Sotheby’s auction catalogue …

And this is where it will begin. In UNIT 322. You have no way of knowing. How can you? About the chemicals in the Chemcraft set. Their shelf life. Their instability. The vial within the box that has, over the years, been eroding to become hair thin, until it will finally crack. The solution will bleed from it and react instantly, flickering a livid blue flame. How fragile it all is, really, when you think about it.

The flame will shiver through the tinder-like chemistry box and caress the corner of the auction catalogue. It is all so dry. We pride ourselves on our anti-damp technology! See how the pages will arch and splay, touching onto the tips of Elise’s real hair, licking across her fine features, the glaze crackling. See how her hands will melt to flippers. It will drip drip onto the Dinky cars like fat oily rain as the heat rises and the leaden chassis will soften and soon they will run and form mercurial pools on the Willow Pattern platter. Flames will dance across this, hungry for the synthetic furred monkey, where the heat will spread through the mechanism, setting spasms in the springs and he will bang his cymbals frantically.

The heat will lean whispering against the unit walls, and the laced hem of the bridal gown in UNIT 323 will warm and soften. The bodice will crackle to life, beads popping, the plastic boning melting. The flame will flit up the polyester lining and char the garter suspended secretly from the hanger … In UNIT 77

Flyers will burst from their box and spin to the ground like blackening sycamore seeds … In UNIT 87

Bottles and tins will explode, Rioja mulled to volcanic anger hitting the ceiling, baked beans firing a tattoo against the corrugated walls … In UNIT 97

The mahogany bureau will creak, the joints warping. A secret drawer will spring open and a small twist of paper will burst out. A photo? A love letter? A threat? A promise? It will be sucked up by the heat haze and disintegrate into skin-thin fragments … In UNIT 173

Leather coats will raise their leather arms in the blast of the fire. The duffels will dance and pop their collars. And finally the sprinkler will start, the fine mist vaporising. And, of course, it will be far too late. In UNIT 244

The sprinkler system will shower the unicorn chairs that have sprung from their bags into angular forms. The gas bottle will

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