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mind off where I was right now.

And that was pinned against Xander’s hard stomach with an even harder appendage prodding my bottom. I didn’t want to move.

I should, but after he’d confided in me last night, I couldn’t disrupt this moment of closeness between us. I might not be able to jump him quite yet without a healthy dose of hard liquor, but I could snuggle. I could wish that we’d married for real, and were staying together because we were deeply in love.

I was in lust. But that didn’t change why we were there, together.

He nuzzled my hair, destroying my hopes that he was fast asleep and didn’t know I was actively engaged in snuggling. “What are you thinking about?”

I chewed the inside of my lip. To tell the truth or not? The fact that he lied so well to his family bothered me, but didn’t at the same time. His remorse and shame were clear, but he hadn’t confided in me until he’d been busted by Lex, as if he hadn’t wanted me to know how personal his trust fund was to him.

I was staying married for the money so that when I let down my family, I had a safety net. He was staying married so he wouldn’t let down his family.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I thought we’d been growing closer, but all last night had done was remind me of our true motivations. That safety net wouldn’t protect my heart if I fell in love with this man. So I lied. “I wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Unless your dad has said yes, then I do. My dad would kick me out otherwise.” It was a long year until next February.

“What about moving out first? We can go somewhere besides Montana or DC.”

I looked over my shoulder. “What? It’s the middle of winter, a bad time to roam the world with no home or money.”

“It’s not winter everywhere.”

“I can’t afford an international flight. Can you?”

“All we have to do is afford the flight there. We’ll earn enough for a trip home later.”

I chewed my lip. He made it sound so easy but my entire being rebelled at the thought. I might be well traveled, but I was well traveled on well-funded trips. “Room and board?”

“I earn that too.” His cadence kicked up like he was getting excited. “You really learn about the world, and the people, and what they need. I think you’d really like it. Depending where we go, you’ll be closer to the earth than ever before.”

“Like camping?”

“Maybe. Depends.”

I sat up, letting the blankets drop from my torso to pool at my waist. I’d been wearing a T-shirt to bed since Xander had come home with me. “Depends? I can’t just go and not know.” I couldn’t quit on Chief and leave and then expect my parents to save me when I called begging them to help me get home.

“You wanted to work with my dad about environmental issues regarding oil. So we can go to places where oil has decimated the land. Alaska? Hell, there’s been pipeline leaks in North Dakota. And—”

“—and it’s not winter everywhere, but I’m pretty sure those places are currently buried in snow.” I didn’t need to get stranded in a blizzard.

“Texas has oil fields,” he continued as if learning about where oil was drilled hadn’t been part of my college education. “Or even better—offshore drilling. We could investigate how the seismic techniques used to look for oil underwater can damage marine life. And then travel up north when it’s summer to look at fracking. You’ve heard the controversy around that, right? There’s always part-time work to be found in the oil areas. ”

I tuned him out. What he said made sense, but I couldn’t escape the subtle undertone of You don’t know what you’re talking about, Sapphire that I’d heard my whole life. “No offense, but I’m already well researched on those topics.”

“Research is different than living it.” The simple way he said it cut into me until the ache I’d felt earlier turned to hurt. The whole reason I’d chosen him in the first place was because he took me seriously. After seeing what a spoiled rich girl I was, had he changed his tune?

“I’m sure Chief will agree that’s a lesson I have to learn too.” I stood and gathered my clothes to keep from looking at how devastatingly sexy he was in my bed. He was right. He could pack up and go and that’s why I’d married him, but when push came to shove, I couldn’t do it.

He ran a hand through his messy bedhead. He’d washed all the gel out and was back to his sexy, haphazard self. “Look, I’m trying to help—”

“I know. But I can’t go rushing off. We have almost twelve months still. I can’t burn all my bridges before the end is in sight.”

“Your parents should support you if you want to move out and find a different job.”

I leveled him with a stare. “Is that why you came home with me and didn’t fly to Montana with your dad?”

His jaw flexed. “Touché.”

“I’m sorry.” As long as I was stuck, he was stuck with me. It couldn’t be easy to accept after the freedom he’d had for years. It wasn’t easy for me to accept that he’d married me for his own monetary reasons and not because I’d swept him away.

“Don’t be. You’re right.”

Didn’t mean it hurt any less. It was like I had channeled Chief. We needed a better topic to land on, to bring back the lightness of playing in the snow. I spotted his camera bag. “I think you picked a fine career.”

He sat up and draped his arms over his knees. Unlike me, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, so every mouthwatering ab was on display. “You want to look at my pictures again?”

“You haven’t pulled out your camera since you’ve been here.” He’d taken no

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