The Job (Auctioned) Cara Dee (novels in english txt) 📖

me, huh? Because the way I see it, you gotta think I’d be out to actually hurt you. Is that it? You honestly believe I’m that malicious?”

“I already know your excuse.” I threw him a glare. “You were thinking with your dick—I’ve heard it before.”

“That’s not what I asked.” He glared right back, and it made me wanna punch him in the face. He had no goddamn reason to be mad at me. “I wanna know what you believe, Casey. Do you think I would ever willingly hurt you?”

That set me off, and my blood went from simmer to boil in an instant. “How the fuck else am I supposed to interpret what you did, Boone?! You gave me your word and took a dump all over it!”

“Because I didn’t know what you were going through!” he shouted. “I had no reason to think anything was wrong—other than you being a controlling piece of shit as usual!”

My eyes nearly bugged out, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. His words slashed through me, hurting me as much as they infuriated me, and what killed me the most was that he was right. I’d been so fucking controlling back then, because I hadn’t been able to keep my jealousy in check.

I felt the embarrassment rise under my skin, and it only made me angrier.

“So you thought revenge was best served with a woman’s mouth on your cock,” I said hoarsely.

“No.” He swallowed hard, stewing, clenching his jaw, eyes brimming with anger and—something else. Defeat? “I thought it was the best course of action to make sure you didn’t find out how fucking obsessed with you I was.”

“You—” Wait, what? A breath gusted out of me, and I just stared at him.

Confusion numbed my brain, and the only thing I registered for several beats was the pop from the toaster when my Pop-Tarts were done.

I swallowed against the dryness in my throat.

Boone shifted from one foot to the other and dragged a hand over his face. “I didn’t know what it meant back then.” His voice came out like he’d been smoking and drinking all day. “I remember being so damn angry. You kept wanting me near you, and I lived for those days. At the same time, if I caught you in a bad mood, you were talking about—maybe it wasn’t a good idea we lived together. So I was on pins and needles, just waiting for you to tell me it was time we went our separate ways.”

He punched the fight out of me with those words, replacing it with a massive pile of guilt.

“I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t cope without you,” he admitted. “Or that I had any other unhealthy attachment to you, so…”

Jesus Christ. What a perfect storm we’d created.

“I know I’m dumb sometimes.” He cleared his throat, and I instantly wanted to put those words back into his mouth. “But I would never intentionally hurt you, Case.”

I coughed into my fist, taken aback by a sudden onslaught of emotion. First things first, though. “That’s the last time you say that shit. I can call you dumb, because I don’t actually mean it. You can’t.”

He lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug. “Doesn’t erase the fact that I’ve needed almost a decade to figure out what I feel for you,” he said quietly. “It was easier with women. I know what it is about them I’m attracted to. With you, I…I could never pin it down.”

I swallowed uneasily and folded my arms over my chest.

“When you said we were done, I stopped trying,” he went on. “I convinced myself that I was just missing you—that it hurt because I wasn’t part of your life anymore. And it worked for few years. Somewhat. I mean, I couldn’t shake the grief, but at least I could function like a normal human being most of the time. I could be there for Ace. I met up with friends every now and then, and I worked. Which is pretty much how I spent these past four years.” He took a break there, and I could tell he was struggling. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. “I started feeling worse before I saw you with the guy you were dating, but something in me snapped that day. I fuckin’ lost it. I became miserable.”

So that was when his depression or whatever had started?

With my internal armor powered down again, I felt less defensive and could think clearly. It’d been wrong of me to place all the blame on him and, most of all, make him think I believed he wanted to hurt me. It was so far from the truth.

I reached out to him and grabbed his hand, and I pulled him toward me.

The moment I got my arms around him, he let out a shuddering breath and buried his face against my neck.

“I know you wouldn’t hurt me intentionally,” I murmured. “I’m a dick.”

He sniffled and wrapped his arms around my neck.

“And I’m sorry I can be a controlling piece of shit,” I added.

He let out a tearful chuckle and shook his head. “Didn’t you hear what I said? I loved it when you got all bossy and demanded I should be by your side.”

The fucker was gonna make me mushy too. That was usually his job, to be sweet and occasionally emotional. I was the hotheaded and sometimes catty asshole.

“The part where I was a piece of shit confused me.” I smiled and dropped my forehead to his shoulder.

“Yeah, well. You can be both,” he muttered. “You should crank up the possessiveness now, though. I miss it.”

He was gonna be the end of me.

“You know that’s not normally a healthy trait in any kind of relationship, right?”

“We ain’t normal, Case.” He eased back enough to meet my gaze.

Fucking hell, he was gorgeous. I reached up and wiped my thumbs under his eyes.

“There was one thing I was always sure of,” he murmured. “And it kinda