Deep Dive: An enemies-to-lovers billionaire romance (Deep Love Series) Lauren Winter (red white and royal blue hardcover TXT) 📖

If truth be told, I’ve missed him like crazy.

The volunteer program is for prospective applicants to the local nursing school. Fletcher had to pull some strings to get me in after the application deadline had already passed. It’ll look great on my nursing school application, no matter where I decide to go. Fletcher wants me to go to a program in New York, of course. I know that he just wants to take care of me and keep us together. He has been nothing but supportive of my chosen career and offered to help take care of my mom. But I just can’t seem to gather the courage to go all in.

Amelia, you hypocrite. A snarky voice admonishes in my head.

You told him you’re all in. You go through the motions as if you love him. But you keep holding him at arm’s length, carefully guarding your heart like a piece of raw meat from ravenous dogs. You pretend that you’re all in on this relationship, but you’re as far from it as it gets.

Where the heck are my keys? I check the kitchen counters again.

No, I’m just establishing my independence. I can be in a relationship and be my own person. Just because I have a rich boyfriend doesn’t mean I’ll stop working and leech off of him. I have no intention of being a spoiled trophy wife. I will have my own career and my own life.

I rush into the bedroom and shake out all of my jeans.

You just don’t want to turn out like your mother. Dependent. Helpless. Alone. Entirely dependent on her rich husband and completely at the mercy of his whims. Except for you, she had nothing of her own. When the two of you left New York, she didn’t even have her own bank account.

That’s not going to happen to me.

“Yes!” I find the keys under a stack of nursing school applications. All of them are for schools in New York.

You think Fletcher is wonderful and perfect now. How long do you think he’ll be nice and sweet to you, who entirely depends on him in every way? How long do you think until his eyes wander away toward other women? How long do you think before he turns into your father?

I rush back into the kitchen and throw some snacks into my backpack. Now I’m really late and this is only the second week. I’ve already gotten looks after people found out that I didn’t get in by the usual route. They prodded and speculated about my relationship to the program’s rich benefactor, Fletcher Payne. More than once, I’ve caught the giggling women staring at his picture and bio on the computer at the nurse’s station. Even though I held my tongue, Meghan, who just started working there as a full-time nurse, has managed to let the cat out of the bag. Now everyone knows that I have a rich boyfriend. It is hard enough to make a good impression in a new place. It is even harder when no one thinks you deserve to be there.

So I have to work extra hard. I (try to) come in early and I always stay late. I always pick up the dirty work that no one else wants to do. I come home late every night, exhausted but happy. I get a sense of satisfaction and purpose that I have never gotten with my job at the cafe. Just two weeks into the program, I know that this is the career for me.

Also, things are getting easier. My hard work has made a good impression on people, and Meghan made sure to use her clout in the hospital to make up for her slip. Even though I am still behind on my rent and there’s only a couple of weeks left on my eviction notice, I couldn’t be happier. For the first time in years, I can picture a real future for myself.

Really? A future? You can’t even afford to pay your own rent. Your plan right now is to ask for money from your rich boyfriend. What kind of future is that?

It’s just a loan that I fully intend to pay back. The only reason that I didn’t have the money is because I wanted to complete the unpaid volunteer program.

But what about application fees? Tuition? You won’t have time to work another job while in school. You’ll entirely depend on Fletcher. You’re just digging yourself deeper into a hole. You think you have it all worked out, but you don’t. You’re pathetic.

I’ll find ways to pay for school. There are scholarships and loans out there. Nursing is a good-paying job, so it shouldn’t be a problem. The rent money will just be a loan. Just until I save up some money. He said that money shouldn’t be a problem between us. He said he’s happy to help me take care of Mom.

That’s what he says. How trustworthy do you think a billionaire can be? He is used to getting what he wants. There are thousands of women who would do anything to be in your shoes. It’ll just be a matter of time before he tires of you and dumps you for someone else. You’ll be left with nothing. Just like your mother.

The lanyard that has my volunteer ID encased in a plastic casing isn’t around my neck. I need that to get past hospital security. Last time I forgot it at home and it took thirty minutes for them to issue me a temporary one. I was definitely late that day, too.

How naïve you are. He is all perfect and wonderful right now, but you’re just a fun distraction for him until he finds something better. You’re poor. You have no education or money. You aren’t even that pretty. He is just enjoying the novelty for now. How long do you think you’ll be able