Joy Ride Desiree Holt (ebook reader 8 inch .TXT) 📖

She turned the corner and slowed down, pressing a hand to her chest, her heart racing beneath her palm.

Well, this had been a wonderful waste of time. She wished Andrew hadn’t caught her off guard the way he did. She knew she owed him a better explanation than what she’d thrown in his face Sunday but she’d wanted time to put the right words together.

Yeah, sure. Except now there weren’t any right words.

She slowly walked along the sidewalk, people in a hurry pushing past her. Every few seconds, she checked to see if Andrew was following her but no, he wasn’t there. At last she came to a hot dog vendor’s cart and bought herself a large soft drink. It was all her stomach could handle at the moment. She sat on the wide ledge of concrete planted at the end of the sidewalk, hitched her purse strap over her shoulder, and took a large gulp of her drink. The chilled liquid cooled the raw feeling in her throat and helped settle her erratic pulse.

How had things gotten so messed up? Why couldn’t she be happy with what Andrew offered?

But the answer was clear, so there was no sense going over the facts again. Even though she knew what she wanted, did she have the courage to grab it? And this wasn’t just about Marc, although, he was fast becoming a big part of it. No, she needed the freedom to explore herself and her life, to not be afraid of new things. By now she was past the initial exhilaration of the joy ride and what the excitement held for her. The big question was what did she do next?

The intensity of her feelings for Marc, especially in such a short period of time, actually frightened her. She had so little experience with men that were the complete opposite of Andrew. And her tenuous self-confidence made her wonder if she could believe all the things Marc said to her. Did he really care for her, as he indicated, or was she just selling herself a bill of goods?

As she finished her drink, her cell rang and she fished it out of her purse.

Annie. Of course. With the third degree. Just what she needed right now. Still, she’d gotten her friend involved in this. Maybe she could cut this short and tell Annie she needed to get back to work. She wasn’t up for dissecting her situation at the moment.

Sighing, she pressed the Talk button.

“Hi.”

“I thought for sure I’d hear from you this morning.” Annie chuckled. “Or did you have to call in sick at work and go to sleep?”

“No, nothing like that. I went to work.” And doing a half-assed job.

“Wait. I thought you fixed things up with Marc, the sexiest bass player in the world.”

At the mention of his name heat surged through her and her pulse stuttered. “I did. I just…I did.”

“And?” Annie wasn’t about to let go of it.

“And everything’s okay.” Sort of.

“Okay? Okay?’ Annie’s voice rose. “What the hell do you mean? I thought after the little grab and grope in the parking lot, you’d be going home with him again.”

Emma gasped. “You watched?”

Annie laughed. “Well, of course. I was dying of curiosity. You didn’t think I was just going to hang out twiddling my thumbs, did you?”

“I don’t know. There were a lot of hot guys in Aftershock. You could have paid attention to them.”

“I’m surprised you even noticed, the way your eyes were fixed on your sex god. What a lip lock he had on you.”

“I know,” she whispered, remembering the electric feel of his mouth on hers.

“So give. What happened? Did you go home with him again?”

“Um, yes. Yes, I did.” Heat crept up her cheeks, equal parts of embarrassment and sensual excitement. No. I will not be ashamed of it. I am the new Emma, embracing life for the first time.

“Did you get around to telling him your name? And are you going back to the club again?”

Another sigh. “No. And yes.”

There was a heavy moment of silence. “You’re planning to see him again, but you still didn’t tell him your name? What is the matter with you?”

She didn’t know if this was just a short-term thing for Marc, despite everything he said. If he didn’t know who she was then he couldn’t track her down if in the future he was bored or between girlfriends. Or whatever. Open wounds took a long time to heal, and despite her Guitar Man’s assurances, she still had her own insecurities to deal with.

“Annie, try to understand. This is the most excitement I’ve ever had in my life, but I don’t know if this…thing with Marc will last. Not giving him my name is my safety net.”

“So if it doesn’t work out, you can run back like a scared chicken to your old life, right?” Annie didn’t wait for her to answer. “Emma, I thought you had more guts than that. You get up the nerve to reach for the brass ring but you’re afraid to hold on to it? Afraid you won’t know what to do if it all falls apart? Or you get your shit together and he shows up someday in the future and kicks it all apart again?”

Emma just sat there, silently holding the phone. Annie had just nailed it. Put into words exactly what she’d been thinking. Yet she couldn’t make herself stay away from Marc. What a mess she was.

“Listen, don’t mind me and my big mouth,” Annie said at last. “You do whatever’s comfortable for you.”

“You’re a good friend, Annie. I know a lot of times you’ve gotten frustrated with me. Maybe even wanted to shake me out of my neat life. But you always know when to push and when to hold back.”

“Just…enjoy yourself, okay? And I’m here whenever you need me.”

“Thank you.” Emotion made her throat tight and tears threatened at Annie’s words. If only her parents gave her such unqualified understanding. Annie wanted her