Full Moon Rachel Hawthorne (top 10 novels .TXT) 📖

“No, that’s not what I meant. Lying here with you…If you were the one guarding us tonight, would you want me here, sleeping beside Rafe?”

“It’s not the same, Lindsey. Until you decide otherwise, you’re mine. I have a symbol representing your name inked on my shoulder.”

“So does he,” I said quietly.

I felt him tense, right before he cursed. The ink was never done lightly, and Connor knew it.

“He didn’t declare for you in front of everyone. I did.”

“It’s not about who observes more traditions. It’s about our hearts.”

“You’ve always had mine.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. One minute he was understanding, and the next he was making it so difficult by declaring his feelings. I didn’t doubt his. I no longer doubted Rafe’s. I doubted mine. But how did I explain that?

THIRTEEN

Connor fell asleep. I was pretty sure that Lucas and Kayla had drifted off as well. I, on the other hand, didn’t sleep. Not a wink. I kept thinking about Rafe and the storm of emotions in his eyes before he’d walked out. After the fight, I’d consoled Connor. I should have done the same for Rafe. Guilt over what I was beginning to feel for him had kept me from his side. It was totally unfair.

Gingerly, I eased away from Connor. He was fast asleep, dead to the world. I crept toward the cavern’s covered opening. Although it was dark, I knew my way around the cavern, and there was nothing for me to trip over. I slipped outside, surprised to discover the sun just starting to lighten the sky.

I glanced around but couldn’t see Rafe. He’d said he was going to guard us, but I didn’t think we really needed a guard. We were pretty well hidden. I suspected he just wanted to avoid another fight.

A shiver went through me. It was cold out, but there was more to it than just the chill in the air. Something didn’t feel right—just like the night we found Dallas. I had a sense that something ominous was lurking around.

I started to go back into the cavern when I heard movement off to the side, from the direction that Rafe and I had originally arrived at the lair. Pressing back against the wall of the mountain, trying to make myself as invisible as possible, I inched stealthily along the path, holding my breath, trying not to make any sort of noise. I wasn’t certain what I’d do if I ran into anyone, but I felt like I needed to check it out.

I went around a curve in the pathway and rammed into someone. My heart jumped into my throat, turning my scream into a pitiful squeak. Then, with a rush of relief, I realized it was Rafe. I pressed my hand to my thundering heart. “Oh my God! You scared me. I thought you were Bio-Chrome.”

I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm my erratic heart. Rafe was all but ignoring me as he pulled his T-shirt down over his head.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Getting dressed.” He dropped down and began pulling on his hiking boots.

I crouched beside him. “I thought you were going to keep watch.”

“Felt a need to run instead.”

I knew without asking that he’d shifted in order to do it.

“I thought about not coming back,” he said as he jerked on his shoelace and tightly tied it. “But I’ve never been one for avoiding a situation. If you loved him, why didn’t you just say so?”

Him. He was doing the same thing as Connor: not using his name, as though that somehow lessened whatever he was feeling.

“I don’t blame you for being mad because I went to him in the cavern. I shouldn’t have. Or maybe I should have gone to you as well, given you equal time. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you sooner. I’m sorry about a lot of things, but I’m not sorry that you and I have had this time together. You want to hear something crazy? It was Connor’s idea.”

“Like hell.”

“No, really. Right before we found Dallas, we were arguing about you. He said I needed to spend time with you. Now he says he didn’t mean it—but we never finished the argument, so I didn’t know that. And now I’m just more confused. It’s not supposed to be like this—or at least I didn’t think it was. I thought it was supposed to be destiny. I thought we were supposed to have this zing! and just immediately know who our mates were.”

He finally stopped getting dressed. He stared off in the distance, dangling his wrists over his bent knees. “You’re going to have choose, Lindsey. And soon.”

“I know.” I watched the sky turn the brilliant, deep blue of dawn. “Maybe Brittany’s right, and we should just go through it by ourselves, then fall in love on our own timetable and not on the moon’s.”

He wrapped several strands of my hair around his fingers and gave a light tug. I shifted my gaze over to his. The intensity of emotion in his eyes stole my breath.

“No matter what you decide,” he said quietly, “it won’t change what I feel for you. I wish it hadn’t hit me like a thunderbolt this summer. I wish it had happened sooner. I wish I’d had more time to…I don’t know…date you. Let you get to know me better. I know Connor has the advantage because he’s got years of knowing you on his side.” He leaned in and very tenderly pressed his lips to my bruised eye. “I’m sorry for that. I never meant for you to get hurt.”

I wanted to kiss him in return. Instead I simply squeezed his hand. “The others are probably up now, wondering where we are.”

“Yeah, we should probably go.” He came to his feet and pulled me to mine.

I started walking back the way