Carnal Rites Ines Johnson (beautiful books to read .txt) 📖

crumbs. He knew that now, after he'd had her in his arms, had been buried deep inside her body, had tasted the sweetness of her lips. The mere thought brought a tightness to Liam's chest.

Tightness at the thought of her, despair at the loss of her. He had no clue what he would do next, where he would go, who he would even be. He'd put everything he had into being what Merlyn needed. Without her, he didn't know who he was.

"Would you like to come see it?"

Liam's instinct was to turn away from Jaspir, to hide his uncertainty. An uncertain mathematician, that was a joke. When he turned back to Jaspir, Liam saw that the male's expression was open, an invitation. They both disembarked from the conveyance.

The steps were crumbling on one side of the porch. The railing rusted with a few spaces of the metal missing.

"It's going to be a fixer upper." There was no shame in Jaspir's voice. He sounded excited, loving as he explained his plans for the house, just like he'd explained to Liam how to touch Merlyn.

The house was one story, like most modern homes. There was a large living room with a fireplace. The floors were wood, the exterior brick. There was a small kitchen and an attached first meal nook with a table, made from the roots of a tree and a circular glass top.

Liam found himself seeing Jaspir's vision and getting excited at the possibilities. Tentatively, Liam began making his own suggestions. At each of these Jaspir smiled and nodded. A time or two Jaspir asked Liam for more of his thoughts.

The last parts of the house were two rooms. One with a large bed that looked as though the room had been built around it. Together Jaspir and Liam spread out a huge quilt that Jaspir's brother, Adom, had given to him. And then they stood looking down. Neither man moved.

Liam couldn't tell what Jaspir was thinking as he looked at the large bed. Likely he was thinking of what it would be like to have Merlyn between those sheets.

Jaspir's hand came to Liam's side. Liam jumped, his whole body tense. He turned to Jaspir.

Jaspir smiled. The smile told Liam that Jaspir had caught the racing of his heart, the throb of his cock.

In answer, Jaspir cocked his head. "Let me show you the last room."

He led them out and down the hall to a room somewhat smaller than the bedroom. It was obviously a second bedroom. Liam wondered if Jaspir was about to ask him to stay. He wondered how he'd answer if the question was posed.

"In my dreams, I'd envisioned this room as a lab," Jaspir said.

"Oh," Liam croaked, hope going out of his voice.

"I know." Jaspir walked to the far edge and looked out the window. "She'll probably never even see it, but I can't change my mind. It was my plan. I'm a stubborn bastard."

"No," said Liam. "You have faith. It’s not something that I understand as a scientist; a belief without facts." Liam shook his head. "The fact is that she does love you, always has. She might see it one day after all."

Jaspir found two tin cups in the kitchen. They went out back to a well. They sat at the edge of the well drinking the cool, earthy water, staring out at the fields.

"So, they kicked you out?" Jaspir asked.

Liam had finally recounted the events of the early morning when he had been thrown bodily from the house.

"She loves you, too, you know."

Liam shook his head at Jaspir's statement. He'd seen and felt what was between Jaspir and Merlyn.

"I think she feels compassion for me," Liam said. "I think she wants me to be happy. But it’s not... inexplicable like it is with you."

"Liam?" Jaspir waited for Liam to look at him before he continued to speak. When green eyes met brown, Jaspir said, "That is the definition of love. Wanting another to be happy without condition. I knew I couldn't be with her, and so I trained you, all in an effort to ensure her happiness. And now you've given her all of your calculations so that she can achieve her dreams and be happy."

He had done that. He'd worked to ensure her success. Liam didn't think twice about allowing her to take credit for his work. That may have shown his love for her. But it didn't show her love for him. But that was okay. As Jaspir said, his love for her was without condition. It was just...

"I don't know if it’s going to make her happy," Liam admitted. "I've never actually seen her smile or laugh in the presence of her Mother. Yesterday, in your bed, is the happiest I've ever seen her."

Jaspir didn't disagree.

"Do you think..." Liam looked up at Jaspir, feeling as sheepish as a child asking. "Do you think she might ever come to realize that, and come here to find you?"

Jaspir smiled at the thought. "It’s another one of my dreams, and as you see, I don't give up on my dreams." Jaspir rose from the well. "Stay for dinner?"

Liam looked up. "Yes."

"You can stay the night, if you’d like."

The fire of desire in Jaspir's eyes made the parameters of his invitation crystal clear. Liam's cock throbbed in his pants. He couldn't speak. He only nodded his head.

Jaspir smiled, this time it was that confident, knowing smile. "Maybe you'll stay for a while." Jaspir turned and headed back to the house. "Grab the crate of food from the car, will you?" he tossed over his shoulder.

Liam sat rooted to the well long after the screen door had closed. The taste of Merlyn was amazing, but his first taste had been of Jaspir. The idea of Jaspir grabbing the back of his neck and teasing his open mouth made his pants feel tight. Liam remembered the feel of Jaspir's cock pressed against his ass, and wanting to push back until there was skin on skin contact.