Harley Merlin 12 Bella Forrest (100 best novels of all time txt) 📖

could keep that promise. I hoped that now that we had a chance of fixing this by finding the Storyteller, Kadar might be less inclined to do us permanent harm.

Santana’s shoulders sagged. “You didn’t see him, Raffe. He looked so… done with the world. It wasn’t a bluff. He really did throw himself off that building intending to kill you both.”

“Is that why you’re insisting on coming to the UAE?” I didn’t mean it unkindly.

“Yeah, it is. From now on, you and Kadar don’t leave my sight. If I had to sit and twiddle my thumbs waiting for you to return, I think I’d end up with my own bag of herbs.” She tried to laugh, but it echoed false.

I tucked my legs underneath me, absently petting the feathered serpent. “You don’t have to put us on suicide watch, Santana. We have hope now that we didn’t before, and that’s enough to keep Kadar going. He won’t toss that aside until he’s investigated our options fully.”

“I’m not putting you on suicide watch. I’m here, and I’m coming with you, because I love you.” She finally turned to look at me. “I almost lost you. I never want to be in that position again.”

And if we reach a crossroads, where you want something I can’t give? What if we have to let each other go? To my mind, that would be more painful. To know it was nothing either of us had done, yet we couldn’t overcome it. To come so far only to lose each other anyway. She deserved the world. She deserved that galaxy—the one Wade wanted to give Harley.

“What’s going on with you lately?” She sat on the chair by my desk. “I say, ‘I love you,’ and you don’t say anything back. It’s happened more times than I can count, all this blowing hot and cold on me. And you know I hate the cold. I keep trying to convince myself it’s just Kadar’s sickness, but it started before that. Have I done something? Do you not want this anymore? If that’s the case, all you have to do is—”

“I love you, Santana,” I cut in. I didn’t want to hear the rest of that sentence. “I love you so much. You haven’t done anything, and I’m sorry I made you think that. It has nothing to do with me not wanting this anymore.”

She lifted her head. “Then what is it? If you still love me, why have you pushed me away? At first, I thought I was imagining things. You know, not holding my hand, or telling me you were busy only for me to find out you’d gone to the pool. I’m not crazy, I know people need their own space, and I’ve got no issue with that. But then there were other things, like you leaving the Banquet Hall when I arrived, not replying to messages for hours even though I could see you’d read them, not answering the door when I knocked, and not saying ‘I love you’ back.”

Slinky looked up at me with the same sad eyes as his Purger. I looked away. “I’m sorry, Santana. I know I’ve been acting like a jerk.”

“I just want to know why, because it feels like you don’t care anymore.” Her voice hitched. I hated seeing her so vulnerable and hurt. I hated it more, knowing I’d caused her to feel this.

“I do care. I really do.” I paused, trying to put my words in order. “I don’t want to see you in pain. That isn’t my intention at all.”

An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. “I’m confused, Raffe. Nothing you’re saying makes sense. If you love me and you still care, why are you trying to put a wedge between us? Is it Kadar? Does he not want you to be with me anymore?”

“That couldn’t be further from the truth,” I assured her. “I know I’ve been an ass. It’s just… we have to figure some things out, Kadar and me. And those things hinge on the possibility that the Storyteller can cure us.”

It was a huge if, but maybe the Storyteller could solve more than just our present djinn problem. Maybe she’d know a way to reduce the risk of harm to Santana if we decided to build a life together. If that were possible, I wouldn’t have to keep pushing Santana away. Trying to be blunt with her now and telling her I couldn’t be with her because I couldn’t give her what she wanted would only result in her telling me not to be an idiot.

We’d been through the rigmarole before. We’d started discussing the future, I’d told her my fears of her dying in childbirth from a djinn Purge, and she’d shrugged it off. It was as predictable as clockwork. That was the trouble with falling for a fearless Santeria. Nothing frightened her. Not even the Levi curse.

“My symbiotic friend has a point.” Kadar rose to the surface for a moment, though still mostly zonked out from the Lullaby Weeds. “We need to focus on the UAE and the Storyteller now. No time for mortal paranoia. He loves you. You love him. Give it a rest.”

I shoved him down. The Lullaby Weeds affected him more than me. I’d already metabolized them while he remained drowsy, which made him easier to push to the bottom of my consciousness.

“Sorry about that,” I said. “He’s eager to head out on this mission, and, honestly, so am I. This could solve all our problems.”

“All of them?” She raised an eyebrow.

I offered her a loving smile. “I hope so.”

“Then why are we waiting?” She went to my closet and pulled down a bag. “We can use one of the mirrors to get to the Dubai Coven, find some leads on this Storyteller, and work our way forward from there. It’s the biggest coven in the UAE, so it’s a decent place to start.”

“Dubai it is,” I replied, praying this trip would help salvage my relationships with