Not My Mother Miranda Smith (chromebook ebook reader .TXT) 📖

“Again,” Carmen says. “What the hell are you doing talking to Amelia Parker?”

“She came by the condo.”

“When?”

“Yesterday.”

“And you just let her right in? Made her a cup of tea? Let her change Ava’s diapers?”

“She hasn’t even met Ava,” I say, handing over the phone. I’m careful enough to keep Ava at a distance, and I don’t appreciate Carmen bringing her into this. “I’m not ready for that.”

“So, when you left Ava with Des and Michael, was it so you could meet Amelia?”

“That was the first time she came over, yes. I asked her to meet me at the beach. I thought it would be harder for the press to catch sight of us there.”

“Well, that didn’t happen. The press is all over this. I’ve tried my best to keep them away from the condo, away from the restaurant, but anywhere else you go is open game. This case has circulated in the media for decades. You didn’t think a public meeting with your biological mother after years of separation would grab people’s attention?”

“I’m not used to being followed! She reached out to me, and, yes, I wanted to hear what she had to say. She’s the only person who is willing to talk to me anymore without wanting something out of it.”

Carmen looks as though she’s about to address that dig, but she stops, narrowing her eyes. She circles back around to something I said earlier.

“You said the first time she came over. Have you seen her again?”

“She came over this morning.”

“What was the reason this time?”

“I don’t know,” I say, shrugging. “Just to visit. Don’t we have a right to get to know each other?”

“Of course you do.” Carmen clears her throat. “But like I keep telling you, every action you take right now impacts Eileen’s case. If you’re cozying up to Amelia, or any of the Boones and Parkers, for that matter, it won’t help your mother.”

“I’m conflicted about helping Mom. Don’t you get that? It’s one thing to not actively hurt her case, but openly defending a kidnapper and murderer doesn’t sit well, either. I can’t base my every decision around a woman who made it a point to deceive me my entire life. I enjoy having Amelia around. It’s nice to have someone else’s perspective on all this.”

“What do you two talk about?”

“She tells me about her life in New Hutton. What her life was like as a child. She tells me about what happened before I was born. Before Bruce died.”

I can see Carmen feels sorry for me. No one should hear such details this late in life. Imagine a whole other world for themselves if they hadn’t been kidnapped.

“I understand why you want to connect with Amelia, but she is clearly siding with the prosecution. You’ll have time to get to know her. After the trial.”

It’s not a statement. It’s an order.

“And how long could that take? Even if Mom does pull through, we could be fighting this battle for years. I’m just supposed to ignore Amelia that entire time?”

“It would be best for Eileen if you weren’t in contact.”

“What about me? Eileen made her choices. I didn’t ask for any of this, and I shouldn’t be responsible for helping her avoid punishment. Eileen didn’t even care to tell me about her cancer, but I’m in the wrong for venting to Amelia about it?”

“Did you tell Amelia about the cancer?” Her tone is serious again.

“Yes.”

Carmen exhales and presses two fingers against her temple. “That’s a perfect example of something the prosecution could use against us. They’ll make it look like Eileen is continuing to lie. Like she’s dishonest.”

“Maybe the prosecution doesn’t have to make it look that way,” I say. “Maybe that’s just the way Mom is.”

“But she’s still your mom. She loves you. Gave you everything she had, even if that wasn’t much.”

I feel tears forming, but I don’t want to cry in front of Carmen. In over a decade of friendship, I don’t think we’ve had as many arguments as we have in the past week. I feel a sudden urge to be near Ava. She’s the only one left innocent in all this, and I’m determined to find the truth about my life before it impacts hers. I lift her from her playpen, putting her in my lap. She sinks into me, still playing with a fabric doll in her hand.

“Anything else we need to discuss?” I ask.

“Did anything I say sink in?”

“What about what I’ve said? I appreciate everything you’re doing for Mom. I do. But I really miss having you as my best friend.”

Carmen winces. “I’m sorry for everything you’re going through. I know it’s hell. I’m trying to ignore the emotional aspects of this mess and stay practical. It’s the only way I can help you. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

I sling the diaper bag over my shoulder and carry Ava toward the door.

I’m not sure what I want anymore.

24 MarionNow

It’s harder to stay mad at Des. Even though she also chose to hide Mom’s cancer diagnosis, I can’t forget all that she has done for us over the years. Who knows? If it weren’t for her, we might have never stayed in North Bay. We might have continued the nomadic routine we had before settling here, during that mysterious portion of my early life. Des rented Mom the apartment I called home. She gave Mom a job in the restaurant, then invited her in as business partner years later. I know Mom couldn’t have had much money; Des was acting on good faith. And she continued that charity when she allowed me to take over only a few years ago.

I stop by the restaurant. I wait until after eight o’clock, hoping there won’t be many customers. There’s a few media vans parked across the street, but they look as though they’re packing up for the day. I don’t give them a second glance as I