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up against the door. I needed to make her see the kind of man I really am. She looked at me with fear
in her eyes, and it killed me that she saw me that way. However, she needed to understand how much
I love her and how I couldn’t allow myself to hurt her by messing up our friendship.
“I fuck women for the pleasure, that’s it. There’s no emotion for me when I fuck them; there never
has been!” I yelled as a single tear fell from her eye.
“I seduce them, use them, fuck them, and leave them. Is that what you want? Is that how you want
me to treat you? You’re different, Ellery, and you scare me. You make me feel things that I’ve never
felt before. You’re all I think about, both day and night. I feel empty inside when you’re not around.
Don’t you understand? It isn’t supposed to be this way, and if I sleep with you, this will all be
ruined.”
Suddenly, the fear was gone from her eyes, and it was replaced by empathy. I couldn’t look at her
anymore because of the tears, and it was tearing me apart doing this to her.
“What happened to you that made you this way?” She asked in a soft whisper.
I continued to look down, still pinning her body against the door. It was my fault that we were in
this position, and it’s time that she knows the truth. If she wants to leave after I tell her, then I’ll let
her go, and I’ll never see her again. Dr. Peters is right; there can no longer be any secrets between
Ellery and me. Our friendship has come too far.
“I had a girlfriend when I was 18. She started to become obsessive and wanted to spend every
waking minute with me. It became too much to try to keep her happy and, it led me to feel like I was
suffocating, so I broke up with her.” I paused and looked up at her as my eyes began to fill with tears.
“She committed suicide two days later. She left a note, explaining that if she couldn’t have me, then
she didn’t want to live and told everyone to blame me for her suicide.” I let go of her arms, taking her
wrists, and turning them over.
“You see, this is why I feel sad when I see these on you. It’s a reminder of what I did, and how I
killed her.” She gasped at my words as she broke my grip and cupped my face in her hands.
“You did nothing wrong, Connor. It wasn’t your fault that she killed herself. It was her weakness
and inability to cope; you cannot blame yourself.”
“I swore then I would never fall in love or get emotionally involved with another woman, but with
you, it’s too late. I’m already emotionally attached, and I’m doing everything I can to stop myself, but
I can’t.” I turned away from her; my breathing was rapid. This was her opportunity to leave, and I
was willing to let her go so she can be happy, but she didn’t leave.
Ellery walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “I’m emotionally attached,
and everything inside me said to stay away, but I see a side of you that I don’t think you let other
people see; a sweet, tender, and caring man who would give his world for someone that he cares
about.”
I let out a breath. She wasn’t leaving; she was staying. She understood and didn’t care because she
just wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with her. My secret was out, and she didn’t run. I turned
around and looked at her. I saw the sadness in her eyes, and I wanted to take it away. She shouldn’t
be sad; she should be happy.
I pressed my lips against hers and kissed her passionately. Our tongues danced together as I picked
her up and carried her to the bedroom. My heart was racing, and my body ached for her, to touch her,
and be inside her. I sat her gently on the bed as I lifted up her shirt and took it off. I took off my shirt
and unbuttoned my pants, never taking my eyes off her. I never wanted to take my eyes off her again.
She stood up, took off her jeans, and threw them on the floor. She laid down on the bed in just her
black lace bra and matching thong. I stood there in awe of this amazing woman as I looked over her
every curve. I never wanted anyone or anything so bad in my entire life.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” I whispered as I ran my hand up and down her perfectly sculpted
stomach. I climbed on top of her as she wrapped her arms around my neck. My lips met hers for a
brief second until my tongue began to explore her neck. She moaned and tilted her head back to give
me full access. She arched her back as I took down her bra straps and exposed her breasts. A groan
escaped me as I lightly sucked each hardened nipple and ran my tongue in circles down her perfect
body. She pressed her hips against me, letting me know she wanted more. I wanted to devour her. I
felt like I was going to lose my mind because I wanted her and needed
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