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said we’re a democracy. We were heading off to the Golden Peaks, but maybe we can stick around a day or two and see if this dungeon opens. What do you think?”

The rogue gave a sinister grin. Bill didn’t trust him at all. “A new dungeon,” he said. “Easy loot. New cores are stupid.”

“Easy loot is crappy loot,” said the bard.

“A new dungeon would take us an hour, tops, and it’d be good pocket money. Since we’re already here, why not try it? Besides, the barmaid here keeps catching my eye.”

The barbarian sighed. “You and your barmaids. Fine, I suppose we’re all agreed. Since you brought this to us, kid, you get a finder’s fee.”

Bill grinned. He’d heard about that tradition. “I’ll forego my fee.”

“What?”

“One condition. You let my brother and I come along. We get a share of the loot, and you consider accepting us into your party of heroes.”

“You’ve got plums, I’ll grant you that. But no, that’s not”-

The rogue nudged the barbarian now. He whispered, but Bill heard what he said.

“The kid and his brother will probably die down there,” he said. “Let him waive his fee and then die in the dungeon. Saves us money.”

The barbarian nodded, and he stuck a big, muscled hand out to Bill. “Kid, you have a deal.”

CHAPTER 24

“Holy demons of the underworld, you are ugly. I mean that in the greatest possible way. It’s a compliment.”

And it really was. The creature standing before me was so ugly it would have shattered every mirror in the Hall of Reflection in the King’s palace.

It was a spider as tall as a man’s waist, with skin made from stone. It had eight legs sprouting out from its sides, as any spider should, except these weren’t ordinary legs.

They were leeches. Squirming, bulbous leeches that looked like they’d let out a gush of foul liquid if you popped them. They had suckers all the way down them, and these suckers had teeth! I’m not joking, they had little yellow teeth like dagger blades.

I was so, so happy with it. Ugly? No, I’d have to revise that. This thing was beautiful in its ugliness. It was magnificent.

A rather nice guy, too.

“Ah, blessed days,” it said, smiling at me. “I have blinked, and in that blink, life has stirred in my soul. This is my home, hmm? Delightful. Little core, you are my master, I take it?”

I was a little taken aback by its intelligence, actually. Most boss monsters were bloodthirsty brutes, which made them a great counterpart to the barbarian heroes that always found their way into dungeons. Boss monsters and hero barbarians weren’t so different, really. Same thirst for violence, different motivations.

“That’s me,” I said. “Round here, they call me the Dark Lord.”

“Your gem-like surface is dazzling, I have to say.”

“Heh. I like you already.”

“May I have a name, oh Dark One?”

“Sure! I kinda have a system for naming things. I didn’t plan it, it sort of developed. See, I named my first kobold, and then I let him name the next kobold I created. So, I guess I should let Wylie name you. It’ll make his day. Wylie? Get over to the melding room, please.”

Soon enough I heard the two sets of footsteps coming toward me, and then my kobolds arrived. Tomlin took one step into the melding room and then leaped backward so fast that he fell on his arse. His eyes widened, and he scampered back a little.

“Gods of doom, Tomlin! This is your new clanmate, he won’t hurt you. Get up.”

“Tomlin…uh…has mining to do, Dark Lord.”

“Oh? You’ve suddenly developed a desire to mine again?”

“Tunnels…uh…need attention.”

“Fine. Get out, you coward,” I said.

Wylie had no such trace of fear. He walked ahead, and he stuck his clawed hand out toward the monstrosity before him.

The spider thing – I hadn’t decided on what its species name was, if it even had one – lifted a leechy leg.

“You’re a lovely little creature,” he said. “Much obliged to meet you.”

“Wylie happy to meet!”

It was a great sight. I loved seeing my clanmates get along with each other, and I felt like this stone-leech-spider-troll-thing would fit in excellently.

“Wylie,” I said. “I’d like you to give our new clanmate a name. Now, please bear in mind that he is the boss monster of our dungeon. He needs a name that fits him.”

“Yes.”

“Something that inspires terror in his enemies. Something grand.”

“Yes.”

“Something that makes heroes shake in their boots, and possibly even wet themselves. Which, of course, your cowardly friend Tomlin will have to clean up if he doesn’t grow a spine soon.”

“Okay, dark lord!”

“Ready?”

“Yes!”

“Then, my friend, give our new clanmate his name of pure horror.”

Wylie patted the spider’s stone skin, and he looked deep into his eyes. All twelve of them.

“Wylie name you…Gary.”

I couldn’t believe it. “Gary??”

“Gary was Wylie’s breedmate. Best breedmate.”

I sighed. “Fine. Gary, you are our new behemoth of destruction. I assume that you know what a boss monster does?”

“Of course, my dark lord chum. Sit in the loot room and deliver death and pain to heroes.”

“Great! We’ll get along just fine. If you could make your way over to the loot room, I’d appreciate it. Just follow the tunnel down there.”

“I say,” said Gary. “A rug or two wouldn’t go amiss in here, Dark One. Brighten the place up.”

Gary scuttled out of the melding room and along the tunnel, his leech legs making a slurping sound as they stuck and unstuck against the ground. Soon I heard a shriek, and I guessed he had surprised Tomlin.

After that, I began to feel excitement churn inside me. There really was only one thing left to do.

CHAPTER 25

I felt tremendously excited as I checked every

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