A Gentleman of Leisure P. G. Wodehouse (list of ebook readers TXT) đ
- Author: P. G. Wodehouse
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âWho is she, Jimmy?â asked Mifflin.
Jimmy came out of his thoughts with a start.
âWhatâs that?â
âWho is she?â
âI donât know what you mean.â
âYes, you do! The sea air. Who is she?â
âI donât know,â said Jimmy simply.
âYou donât know? Well, whatâs her name?â
âI donât know.â
âDoesnât the Mauretania still print a passenger list?â
âShe does.â
âAnd you couldnât find out her name in five days?â
âNo.â
âAnd thatâs the man who thinks he can burgle a house!â said Mifflin despairingly.
They had arrived now at the building on the second floor of which was Jimmyâs flat.
âComing in?â said Jimmy.
âWell, I was rather thinking of pushing on as far as the park. I tell you, I feel all on wires.â
âCome in and smoke a cigar. Youâve got all night before you if you want to do marathons. I havenât seen you for a couple of months. I want you to tell me all the news.â
âThere isnât any. Nothing happens in New York. The papers say things do, but they donât. However, Iâll come in. It seems to me that youâre the man with the news.â
Jimmy fumbled with his latchkey.
âYouâre a bright sort of burglar,â said Mifflin disparagingly. âWhy donât you use your oxyacetylene blowpipe? Do you realise, my boy, that youâve let yourself in for buying a dinner for twelve hungry men next week? In the cold light of the morning, when Reason returns to her throne, thatâll come home to you.â
âI havenât done anything of the sort,â said Jimmy, unlocking the door.
âDonât tell me you really mean to try it.â
âWhat else did you think I was going to do?â
âBut you canât. You would get caught for a certainty. And what are you going to do then? Say it was all a joke? Suppose they fill you full of bullet holes? Nice sort of fool youâll look appealing to some outraged householderâs sense of humour, while he pumps you full of lead with a Colt!â
âThese are the risks of the profession. You ought to know that, Arthur. Think what you went through tonight.â
Arthur Mifflin looked at his friend with some uneasiness. He knew how entirely reckless he could be when he had set his mind on accomplishing anything. Jimmy, under the stimulus of a challenge, ceased to be a reasonable being, amenable to argument. And in the present case he knew that Willettâs words had driven the challenge home. Jimmy was not the man to sit still under the charge of being a âfakir,â no matter whether his accuser had been sober or drunk.
Jimmy, meanwhile, had produced whisky and cigars, and was lying on his back on the lounge, blowing smoke rings at the ceiling.
âWell?â said Arthur Mifflin at length.
âWell? What?â
âWhat I meant was, is this silence to be permanent, or are you going to begin shortly to amuse, elevate, and instruct? Somethingâs happened to you, Jimmy. There was a time when you were a bright little chap, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Where be your gibes now, your gambols, your songs, your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table in a roar when you were paying for the dinner? You remind me more of a deaf-mute celebrating the Fourth of July with noiseless powder than anything else on earth. Wake up, or I shall go. Jimmy, we were boys together. Tell me about this girlâ âthe girl you loved and were idiot enough to lose.â
Jimmy drew a deep breath.
âVery well,â said Mifflin complacently; âsigh if you likeâ âitâs better than nothing.â
Jimmy sat up.
âYes, dozens of times,â said Mifflin.
âWhat do you mean?â
âYou were just going to ask me if I had ever been in love, werenât you?â
âI wasnât, because I know you havenât. You have no soul. You donât know what love is.â
âHave it your own way,â said Mifflin resignedly.
Jimmy bumped back onto the sofa.
âI donât either,â he said. âThatâs the trouble.â
Mifflin looked interested.
âI know,â he said. âYouâve got that strange premonitory fluttering, when the heart seems to thrill within you like some baby bird singing its first song, whenâ ââ
âOh, shut up!â
âWhen you ask yourself timidly, âIs it? Can it really be?â and answer shyly, âNo. Yes. I believe it is.â Iâve been through it dozens of times. It is a recognised early symptom. Unless prompt measures are taken it will develop into something acute. In these matters stand on your Uncle Arthur. He knows.â
âYou make me tired,â said Jimmy briefly.
âYou have our ear,â said Mifflin kindly. âTell me all.â
âThereâs nothing to tell.â
âDonât lie, James.â
âWell, practically nothing.â
âThatâs better.â
âIt was like this.â
âGood!â
Jimmy wriggled himself into a more comfortable position and took a sip from his glass.
âI didnât see her till the second day out.â
âI know that second day out. Well?â
âWe didnât really meet at all.â
âJust happened to be going to the same spot, eh?â
âAs a matter of fact, it was like this. Like a fool, Iâd bought a second-class ticket.â
âWhat? Our young Rockerbilt Astergould, the boy millionaire, travelling second-class! Why?â
âI had an idea it would be better fun. Everybodyâs so much more cheery in the second cabin. You get to know people so much quicker. Nine trips out of ten Iâd much rather go second.â
âAnd this was the tenth?â
âShe was in the first cabin,â said Jimmy.
Mifflin clutched his forehead.
âWait!â he cried. âThis reminds me of somethingâ âsomething in Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet? No. Iâve got it!â âPyramus and Thisbe.â
âI donât see the slightest resemblance.â
âRead your Midsummer Nightâs Dream. âPyramus and Thisbe,â says the story, âdid talk through the chink of a wall,âââ quoted Mifflin.
âWe didnât.â
âDonât be so literal. You talked across a railing.â
âWe didnât.â
âDo you mean to say you didnât talk at all?â
âWe didnât say a single word.â
Mifflin shook his head sadly.
âI give you up,â he said. âI thought you were a man of enterprise. What did you
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