The Humbugs of the World P. T. Barnum (ebook reader for comics txt) đ
- Author: P. T. Barnum
Book online «The Humbugs of the World P. T. Barnum (ebook reader for comics txt) đ». Author P. T. Barnum
Looked at on one side, the history of humbug is truly humiliating to intellectual pride, yet the long silly story is less absurd during the later ages of history, and grows less and less so in proportion to the spread of real Christianity. This religion promotes good sense, actual knowledge, contentment with what we cannot help, and the exclusive use of intelligent means for increasing human happiness and decreasing human sorrow. And whenever the time shall come when men are kind and just and honest; when they only want what is fair and right, judge only on real and true evidence, and take nothing for granted, then there will be no place left for any humbugs, either harmless or hurtful.
IIDefinition of the word humbugâ ââWarren of Londonâ ââGenin, The hatterâ âGoslingâs blacking.
Upon a careful consideration of my undertaking to give an account of the âHumbugs of the World,â I find myself somewhat puzzled in regard to the true definition of that word. To be sure, Webster says that humbug, as a noun, is an âimposition under fair pretences;â and as a verb, it is âto deceive; to impose on.â With all due deference to Doctor Webster, I submit that, according to present usage, this is not the only, nor even the generally accepted definition of that term.
We will suppose, for instance, that a man with âfair pretencesâ applies to a wholesale merchant for credit on a large bill of goods. His âfair pretencesâ comprehend an assertion that he is a moral and religious man, a member of the church, a man of wealth, etc., etc. It turns out that he is not worth a dollar, but is a base, lying wretch, an impostor and a cheat. He is arrested and imprisoned âfor obtaining property under false pretencesâ or, as Webster says, âfair pretences.â He is punished for his villainy. The public do not call him a âhumbug;â they very properly term him a swindler.
A man, bearing the appearance of a gentleman in dress and manners, purchases property from you, and with âfair pretencesâ obtains your confidence. You find, when he has left, that he paid you with counterfeit banknotes, or a forged draft. This man is justly called a âforger,â or âcounterfeiter;â and if arrested, he is punished as such; but nobody thinks of calling him a âhumbug.â
A respectable-looking man sits by your side in an omnibus or rail-car. He converses fluently, and is evidently a man of intelligence and reading. He attracts your attention by his âfair pretences.â Arriving at your journeyâs end, you miss your watch and your pocketbook. Your fellow passenger proves to be the thief. Everybody calls him a âpickpocket,â and not withstanding his âfair pretences,â not a person in the community calls him a âhumbug.â
Two actors appear as stars at two rival theatres. They are equally talented, equally pleasing. One advertises himself simply as a tragedian, under his proper nameâ âthe other boasts that he is a prince, and wears decorations presented by all the potentates of the world, including the âKing of the Cannibal Islands.â He is correctly set down as a âhumbug,â while this term is never applied to the other actor. But if the man who boasts of having received a foreign title is a miserable actor, and he gets up gift-enterprises and bogus entertainments, or pretends to devote the proceeds of his tragic efforts to some charitable object, without, in fact, doing soâ âhe is then a humbug in Dr. Websterâs sense of that word, for he is an âimpostor under fair pretences.â
Two physicians reside in one of our fashionable avenues. They were both educated in the best medical colleges; each has passed an examination, received his diploma, and been dubbed an M.D. They are equally skilled in the healing art. One rides quietly about the city in his gig or brougham, visiting his patients without noise or clamorâ âthe other sallies out in his coach and four, preceded by a band of music, and his carriage and horses are covered with handbills and placards, announcing his âwonderful cures.â This man is properly called a quack and a humbug. Why? Not because he cheats or imposes upon the public, for he does not, but because, as generally understood, âhumbugâ consists in putting on glittering appearancesâ âoutside showâ ânovel expedients, by which to suddenly arrest public attention, and attract the public eye and ear.
Clergymen, lawyers, or physicians, who should resort to such methods of attracting the public, would not, for obvious reasons, be apt to succeed. Bankers, insurance-agents, and others, who aspire to become the custodians of the money of their fellow-men, would require a different species of advertising from this; but there are various trades and occupations which need only notoriety to insure success, always provided that when customers are once attracted, they never fail to get their moneyâs worth. An honest man who thus arrests public attention will be called a âhumbug,â but he is not a swindler or an impostor. If, however, after attracting crowds of customers by his unique displays,
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