Myths and Gargoyles Jamie Hawke (i read a book .TXT) 📖

“Uh-huh, sure.” He scoffed. “If you count Lena Hermon.”

“She was nice.”

“She was twice your age, dude, and only got with you to relive her college years.”

“Fuck you.”

The doors opened and he gave me a “fuck you” look back, then led the way. “Just stick close, buddy. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

We got more looks as we entered, but only one stuck out to me. Disheveled hair, a wild stare. Was this lady stalking me? No, there was no way she could’ve known I’d be here, right? It was definitely the same one though. She was on the opposite side of the room in the corner and wearing far too many clothes for something like this, considering she had a fur coat draped around her. I would’ve guessed she was going for a Cruella De Ville look, except it was black fur.

“Gotta take a piss,” I told Chris, breaking off for the bathroom, being sure not to make eye contact with Crazy over there.

“You know where to find me,” he replied, gesturing to the drink table against the far wall where more costumed honeys and some guys hitting on them were hanging out.

I’d let him embarrass himself without me for a few minutes. Maybe give that crazy chick out there a chance to focus on someone else. To my relief, the bathroom was unoccupied. I stepped in and closed the door, locking it, and had just pulled out my dick to take a piss when the door banged open, Green Lantern and Rainbow Dash making out.

“For fucks sake,” I said, covering myself and staring, as they tried to close the door, not even realizing I was in there.

They looked over and down, giggling, and made for the door.

“Lock it next time, ass,” Green Lantern said to me, and closed the door behind him.

I turned back to try and piss, when the door opened again.

“Okay, the lock doesn’t wor—”

The crazy lady slammed into me, knocking me right through the shower curtain and into the bathtub. Yes, dick still out, and no, I won’t comment on whether any piss went anywhere. All I will say is that I was struggling, confused, saw her sniffing my face and then she snarled and tried to bite me.

“What the fuck?” I was shouting, over and over. Someone started laughing, telling us to get a room, and then I broke free. I ran out of the bathroom, bumping into a space pirate chick and getting her drink all over both of us.

“Oh come on,” she said, then put a hand over her mouth, slapped me with the other, and said, “Pervert.”

I glanced down to see that my dick was still hanging out, growing slightly in spite of how freaked out I was. Then I heard the growling again.

“Stay back,” I said, moving for the suite door as I reached for the doorknob with one hand, the other trying to put my dick away but shaking and not doing the best job. The whole room was staring at me now, and it seemed to have gotten even more crowded. Shit.

“As you wish,” someone said then laughed, and another said something about the stable boy, then made a joke about using my sword and not being left-handed. Since it was my left hand on my dick, I got it, but was too annoyed and freaked out to laugh. That didn’t stop the rest of them from laughing even harder though—all but Chris, who leaned forward with a curious ‘what the fuck, dude’ look, a woman’s hand on his Wonder bread-supported package.

And then the crazy lady was running for me but I had the door open, my dick in my pants, and I ran.

2

The elevator was closed, so I opted for the stairway. Halfway there I realized I could probably take this chick, but what was I going to do, fight some lady in the hotel? Fuck that. If I could just shake her off, go back and find Chris or just wait out the night in my hotel room, none of this would be that big of a deal. No statements or police, no being accused of attacking her or whatever else might happen.

I was halfway down the stairs when she came crashing out, the door slamming back into the wall before swinging shut again with a loud thud. She leaped after me, taking me down the rest of the stairs to the floor below. Struggling to try and throw her off, I suddenly remembered the other reason to run—in the bathtub, she’d been freakishly strong.

“Whatever you think I did,” I said, my hand pushing up on her chin as she pinned me to the floor, “it wasn’t me!”

“You’re exactly who I’m looking for,” she growled, and for a moment she paused, staring at me. Then I noticed why her eyes had looked so crazy earlier. Wolf eyes. Teeth too… and damn, she’d done a great job with them. Everyone did a great job with their costumes at these things though, so it wasn’t that out of the ordinary. Combined with her strength and the fact that she’d just tackled me down a stairway, though, this whole picture was giving me a panic attack and, for some annoying reason, a fucking boner.

Oh, shit, that’s why she’d stopped. It had slipped back out, as I was wearing boxers and never got my zipper up. She moved, her fur coat over my legs, her ass—leather-clad, I could now see and feel against my cock—pressing against it.

For a brief second, her eyes actually changed to normal brown eyes, and her hand moved back and felt me, as if to make sure this was real. Her eyes went wide, eyebrows arched, and she said, “Wh—what’re you doing to me?”

“Me?” I asked, spasming slightly at her touch. Oddly, she didn’t let go, but held it tighter, as if releasing it would cause her to slide back into madness.

She bit her lip, brow furrowing now in concentration and concern, and