Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (good book club books .TXT) đ
- Author: Mark Twain
- Performer: 0142437174
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So I wilted right down on to the planks then, and give up; and it was all I could do to keep from crying.
CHAPTER XXX.
WHEN they got aboard the king went for me, and shook me by the collar, and says:
âTryinâ to give us the slip, was ye, you pup! Tired of our company, hey?â
I says:
âNo, your majesty, we warnâtâplease donât, your majesty!â
âQuick, then, and tell us what was your idea, or Iâll shake the insides out oâ you!â
âHonest, Iâll tell you everything just as it happened, your majesty. The man that had a-holt of me was very good to me, and kept saying he had a boy about as big as me that died last year, and he was sorry to see a boy in such a dangerous fix; and when they was all took by surprise by finding the gold, and made a rush for the coffin, he lets go of me and whispers, âHeel it now, or theyâll hang ye, sure!â and I lit out. It didnât seem no good for me to stayâI couldnât do nothing, and I didnât want to be hung if I could get away. So I never stopped running till I found the canoe; and when I got here I told Jim to hurry, or theyâd catch me and hang me yet, and said I was afeard you and the duke wasnât alive now, and I was awful sorry, and so was Jim, and was awful glad when we see you coming; you may ask Jim if I didnât.â
Jim said it was so; and the king told him to shut up, and said, âOh, yes, itâs mighty likely!â and shook me up again, and said he reckoned heâd drownd me. But the duke says:
âLeggo the boy, you old idiot! Would you a done any different? Did you inquire around for him when you got loose? I donât remember it.â
So the king let go of me, and begun to cuss that town and everybody in it. But the duke says:
âYou better a blameâ sight give yourself a good cussing, for youâre the one thatâs entitled to it most. You hainât done a thing from the start that had any sense in it, except coming out so cool and cheeky with that imaginary blue-arrow mark. That was brightâit was right down bully; and it was the thing that saved us. For if it hadnât been for that theyâd a jailed us till them Englishmenâs baggage comeâand thenâthe penitentiary, you bet! But that trick took âem to the graveyard, and the gold done us a still bigger kindness; for if the excited fools hadnât let go all holts and made that rush to get a look weâd a slept in our cravats to-nightâcravats warranted to wear, tooâlonger than weâd need âem.â
They was still a minuteâthinking; then the king says, kind of absent-minded like:
âMf! And we reckoned the niggers stole it!â
That made me squirm!
âYes,â says the duke, kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic, âwe did.â
After about a half a minute the king drawls out:
âLeastways, I did.â
The duke says, the same way:
âOn the contrary, I did.â
The king kind of ruffles up, and says:
âLooky here, Bilgewater, whatâr you referrinâ to?â
The duke says, pretty brisk:
âWhen it comes to that, maybe youâll let me ask, what was you referring to?â
âShucks!â says the king, very sarcastic; âbut I donât knowâmaybe you was asleep, and didnât know what you was about.â
The duke bristles up now, and says:
âOh, let up on this cussed nonsense; do you take me for a blameâ fool? Donât you reckon I know who hid that money in that coffin?â
âYes, sir! I know you do know, because you done it yourself!â
âItâs a lie!ââand the duke went for him. The king sings out:
âTake yâr hands off!âleggo my throat!âI take it all back!â
The duke says:
âWell, you just own up, first, that you did hide that money there, intending to give me the slip one of these days, and come back and dig it up, and have it all to yourself.â
âWait jest a minute, dukeâanswer me this one question, honest and fair; if you didnât put the money there, say it, and Iâll bâlieve you, and take back everything I said.â
âYou old scoundrel, I didnât, and you know I didnât. There, now!â
âWell, then, I bâlieve you. But answer me only jest this one moreânow donât git mad; didnât you have it in your mind to hook the money and hide it?â
The duke never said nothing for a little bit; then he says:
âWell, I donât care if I did, I didnât do it, anyway. But you not only had it in mind to do it, but you done it.â
âI wisht I never die if I done it, duke, and thatâs honest. I wonât say I warnât goinâ to do it, because I was; but youâI mean somebodyâgot in ahead oâ me.â
âItâs a lie! You done it, and you got to say you done it, orââ
The king began to gurgle, and then he gasps out:
ââNough!âI own up!â
I was very glad to hear him say that; it made me feel much more easier than what I was feeling before. So the duke took his hands off and says:
âIf you ever deny it again Iâll drown you. Itâs well for you to set there and blubber like a babyâitâs fitten for you, after the way youâve acted. I never see such an old ostrich for wanting to gobble everythingâand I a-trusting you all the time, like you was my own father. You ought to been ashamed of yourself to stand by and hear it saddled on to a lot of poor niggers, and you never say a word for âem. It makes me feel ridiculous to think I was soft enough to believe that rubbage. Cuss you, I can see now why you was so anxious to make up the deffisitâyou wanted to get what money Iâd got out of the Nonesuch and one thing or another, and scoop it all!â
The king says, timid, and still a-snuffling:
âWhy, duke, it was you that said make up the deffisit; it warnât me.â
âDry up! I donât want to hear no more out of you!â says the duke. "And now you see what you GOT by it. Theyâve got all their own money back, and all of ourn but a shekel or two besides. Gâlong to bed, and donât you deffersit me no more deffersits, long âs you live!â
So the king sneaked into the wigwam and took to his bottle for comfort, and before long the duke tackled HIS bottle; and so in about a half an hour they was as thick as thieves again, and the tighter they got the lovinger they got, and went off a-snoring in each otherâs arms. They both got powerful mellow, but I noticed the king didnât get mellow enough to forget to remember to not deny about hiding the money-bag again. That made me feel easy and satisfied. Of course when they got to snoring we had a long gabble, and I told Jim everything.
CHAPTER XXXI.
WE dasnât stop again at any town for days and days; kept right along down the river. We was down south in the warm weather now, and a mighty long ways from home. We begun to come to trees with Spanish moss on them, hanging down from the limbs like long, gray beards. It was the first I ever see it growing, and it made the woods look solemn and dismal. So now the frauds reckoned they was out of danger, and they begun to work the villages again.
First they done a lecture on temperance; but they didnât make enough for them both to get drunk on. Then in another village they started a dancing-school; but they didnât know no more how to dance than a kangaroo does; so the first prance they made the general public jumped in and pranced them out of town. Another time they tried to go at yellocution; but they didnât yellocute long till the audience got up and give them a solid good cussing, and made them skip out. They tackled missionarying, and mesmerizing, and doctoring, and telling fortunes, and a little of everything; but they couldnât seem to have no luck. So at last they got just about dead broke, and laid around the raft as she floated along, thinking and thinking, and never saying nothing, by the half a day at a time, and dreadful blue and desperate.
And at last they took a change and begun to lay their heads together in the wigwam and talk low and confidential two or three hours at a time. Jim and me got uneasy. We didnât like the look of it. We judged they was studying up some kind of worse deviltry than ever. We turned it over and over, and at last we made up our minds they was going to break into somebodyâs house or store, or was going into the counterfeit-money business, or something. So then we was pretty scared, and made up an agreement that we wouldnât have nothing in the world to do with such actions, and if we ever got the least show we would give them the cold shake and clear out and leave them behind. Well, early one morning we hid the raft in a good, safe place about two mile below a little bit of a shabby village named Pikesville, and the king he went ashore and told us all to stay hid whilst he went up to town and smelt around to see if anybody had got any wind of the Royal Nonesuch there yet. (âHouse to rob, you mean,â says I to myself; âand when you get through robbing it youâll come back here and wonder what has become of me and Jim and the raftâand youâll have to take it out in wondering.â) And he said if he warnât back by midday the duke and me would know it was all right, and we was to come along.
So we stayed where we was. The duke he fretted and sweated around, and was in a mighty sour way. He scolded us for everything, and we couldnât seem to do nothing right; he found fault with every little thing. Something was a-brewing, sure. I was good and glad when midday come and no king; we could have a change, anywayâand maybe a chance for the change on top of it. So me and the duke went up to the village, and hunted around there for the king, and by and by we found him in the back room of a little low doggery, very tight, and a lot of loafers bullyragging him for sport, and he a-cussing and a-threatening with all his might, and so tight he couldnât walk, and couldnât do nothing to them. The duke he begun to abuse him for an old fool, and the king begun to sass back, and the minute they was fairly at it I lit out and shook the reefs out of my hind legs, and spun down the river road like a deer, for I see our chance; and I made up my mind that it would be a long day before they ever see me and Jim again. I got down there all out of breath but loaded up with joy, and sung out:
âSet her loose, Jim! weâre all right now!â
But there warnât no answer, and nobody come out of the wigwam. Jim was gone! I set
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