Not Pretending Anymore Ward, Penelope (good books for high schoolers .txt) 📖

“I take it you want to play now?”

I nodded. “With a few caveats: we tell the absolute truth, neither one of us gets to avoid any questions, and in fifteen minutes, we both go to our rooms. Alone.”

“Wow. Okay. Hang on a second. I think I need to prep for this.” Molly took a big swig of her margarita, placed it on the table again, and sat up a little straighter. “I have a feeling I’m going to regret this, but I’m ready. Let’s play.”

“I’ll start with some softballs.”

“That would be good.”

“Let me set the timer on my phone first.” I set it for fifteen minutes and gave some thought to a nice, easy first question. After a moment I said, “My favorite color is blank.”

“So now I just finish the sentence?”

“Yup.”

“That’s easy. My favorite color is pink.”

“Perfect. Your turn.”

I could see the wheels in Molly’s head turning. “If I could have one superpower, it would be to blank.”

I didn’t hesitate at all. “Telepathy with animals.”

Molly laughed. “Totally not what I expected.”

I shrugged. “What can I tell you? I was obsessed with those Dr. Dolittle movies when I was younger.”

“Figures. Your turn.”

I could do this all night with Molly, but I needed some real information, so I steered things in another direction.

“Tonight when I saw Julia touching Declan, I felt...”

Molly bit her bottom lip.

I knew she was debating filtering her response, which defeated the entire purpose. I gave her a little nudge. “Just say what belongs in that sentence, Moll. Don’t overthink it. There’s no right or wrong answer.”

I’d assumed she might say jealous, but I found her answer a hell of a lot more amusing.

“Stabby,” she said. “Tonight when I saw Julia touching Declan, I felt stabby.”

I smiled and nodded. “Nice.”

She lifted her margarita and knocked back half of what remained. “My turn. I asked Molly to come out to the living room for our talk because blank.”

It was me who now gulped from my glass. I’d started to consider what I could say, but Molly caught on real fast.

“Uhhh…no filtering,” she said. “Just say it, remember?”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“It’s your game. I agreed to play by the rules, so you have to, too. Spit it out, Mr. Tate.”

“Okay. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though.” My eyes found hers. “I asked Molly to come out to the living room for our talk because when I was sitting on the bed so close, I couldn’t stop imagining myself inside her.”

Molly laughed nervously. “Oh…wow.”

I finished off my margarita and set down my glass. My meds definitely intensified how it affected me. A few drinks and I felt damn drunk, which was why I seemed to have lost my filter. “I’m just going to say it, Molly. Forget the game. I’m extremely attracted to you. I have been since the first time I laid eyes on you. But lately… It’s getting harder to fight.” I shook my head. “In my experience, things often happen in the other direction. I’m physically attracted to a person, and once I get to know them, that wanes a bit. But with you it’s the opposite. The more I get to know you, the stronger my physical attraction becomes.”

Molly looked down and then back up at me. “What about Julia?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I’m attracted to her. I’m not going to lie about that. But it’s different.”

“Different how?”

“She’s pretty and all—without being disrespectful, it wouldn’t be a hardship to be with her. But I don’t feel like a caveman when I look at her, like I want to conquer every part of her body and make it mine.”

Molly blinked. “You feel that way about me?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I do. Are you attracted to me, Molly?”

“Very.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but if you were any other person in the world, I wouldn’t be fighting it anymore. I wouldn’t be sitting all the way over here.” I shoved a hand into my hair. “Christ, I wouldn’t even have left your bedroom to come out in the living room… I’d be in your bedroom for days.”

Molly swallowed. “But yet here we are, and you’re all the way over there…”

“Do you remember what you said to Julia earlier when she asked about Will?”

Her brows drew together. “No. What did I say?”

I remembered her words verbatim, not that they were news to me. I’d pretty much known all along the woman Molly was. “You said, ‘I’m looking for more than just someone to screw.’ I’m only here for a few more months, Molly. I live and work in California. Your life is here in Chicago. Do I think the two of us could enjoy the hell out of each other during the time I have left? Absofuckinglutely. But I can’t promise you anything long term, and as much as it makes me feel…stabby to think of you with Will, I also don’t want to come between you and a guy you’ve liked for a long time. What if I ruin your chances at a good, long-term thing for just a couple of phenomenal months?”

Molly was quiet for a long time. “If you’d never met me, and things with Julia had evolved to where they are now, would you two be…together?”

We both knew the answer to that question, so I tossed it back to her. “If you’d never met me, and things between you and Will had evolved to where they are now, would you be happy with him?”

Molly frowned. We stared at each other until the timer on my phone went off.

“I could stay out here and talk to you all night, Moll. I don’t think either of us is surprised by the things we’ve just admitted. But now that we’ve said what we needed to say, we need some time to think things through—alone. That’s the reason I set the timer.”

Molly smiled sadly. “You’re a smart cookie.”

I winked. “Don’t tell anyone. I prefer to be underestimated and let people