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your plan.”

20

I choose your plan.

I blinked, not understanding. Not quite able to believe what he just signed. “You’re…you’re going to let me go home and pretend like I never saw anything?”

“I'm going to let you stay with me,” Victor corrected, his eyes soft and bemused. “You will stay with me here until we finish school. And then, we will go to America together. You will attend RhIDS, and I will attend Tufts. Like before. But not like before.”

Oh, my God. He chose me. He chose me over Red Diamond.

I got to live.

Even better, I got to be with the boy I love in America.

I should have felt relieved. Elated even.

Still, I hesitated to respond. He was saying everything I thought I wanted to hear. But his face was a careful blank. One I recognized. That was the expression he made when there was something he wasn’t telling me.

“I still love you. Do you still love me?” He signed after too many moments of me not responding. His expression…it was so many things. Angry, impatient, desperate. Like everything hinged on my answer to that question.

Maybe it did. I wanted to answer yes, to finally make some peace after this terrible night. But… “If I answered yes, how would you know if I was saying that only because I don’t want to die?”

A long beat of silence. Then he signed back, “I wouldn't know. I could never know for sure.”

We looked at each other, that truth resonating.

I hadn't cried when I suspected that my life was essentially over. But now, hot tears burned behind my eyes.

“Dawn, sit down,” he signed. His expression was grave.

I did as ordered, taking a seat on the couch. It was a nice one. No lumps from overuse. If I hadn't seen it so many times before when I’d entered Victor's apartment, I would assume it was brand-new.

Victor sat down beside me, not seeming to care about staining the sparkling white couch with his bloody suit.

I waited for him to berate me. For coming over here, for witnessing what I saw, for asking all the hard questions as opposed to just taking what he had offered.

I wish I could play along. I wanted to play along. But I didn't know how to with this hard suspicion buzzing in the back of my brain.

“My father said I had to choose. Between my triad and you. I choose you. But that choice comes with consequences,” he confessed. “The only way my father will allow us to be together is if we get married. So that he can trust you will keep our secrets.”

I shook my head, not understanding, “We have to get married? When?”

“As soon as we arrive in the States. Tokyo Progressive’s graduation ceremony is in a few weeks. I’d need a few weeks to make all the arrangements and get all of the documents I’ll need to live with you in the United States. But I looked it up, and the Providence Town Hall has same-day ceremonies. So we could get married a few days after we arrived. Say, May 25th.”

My heart thrilled at the thought of marrying him….then sank.

“But we’re so young,” I pointed out. “And I don’t want you to have to marry me. It will always feel like I’ve ruined your life.”

Victor started shaking his head before I was even done talking. “Dawn, I told you I looked this up. I did not tell you when. As soon as you agreed to be my girlfriend, I started making these marriage plans for us. Because I wanted you in my life. I had hoped to give you more time to feel the same way. I thought four years in college would be enough. But we no longer have this much time…”

To my shock, he slipped to one knee in front of me. “My father told me I had to choose. But it wasn’t a choice. I’ve chosen you from the start, Dawn. I will always choose you. I love you so much, Dawn. And I want to protect you. Forever. Please say you will let me do as I wish. Please say you will be my wife. I am sorry I don’t have a ring.”

More tears clogged my throat, making it so I couldn’t talk.

And Victor translated my silence as my answer.

“I understand you are scared of me after what you saw downstairs, but—” he began to sign.

He cut off when I launched myself at him, tackling him to the floor.

“Yes!” I shouted. “Yes, I’ll marry you!”

Then I kissed the hell out of the most romantic boyfriend on earth.

No, there was nothing I could say to make him believe me. But I could show him. I could show him that what I saw tonight, as horrific as it was, didn’t matter.

I still loved him, just like he still loved me. And I didn’t care who he was before he gave up that life. I just wanted to be with him, just liked he wanted to be with me.

Maybe he understood what I was trying to say. He kissed me back. Ferociously. Like I was the dinner we’d both missed.

This wasn’t a repeat of what happened this afternoon. He didn’t unwrap me and guide me through the steps and wait patiently for me to adjust to what was happening.

He engulfed me like an out-of-control fire. My shirt buttons went flying when he ripped it open. He tore it off my body along with my blazer. And he yanked my bra off over my head as opposed to simply undoing the clasp.

He paused just long enough to unzip his pants and put on a condom. But then he fell on top of me in his bloody suit, an animal in a total frenzy. He pushed up my uniform skirt, yanked aside my panties, and shoved himself inside of me with a loud groan.

This was more overwhelming than anything I’d ever experienced. But my body welcomed him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, taking him in even

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