Myth 18 - MythChief Asprin, Robert (urban books to read TXT) 📖

the assignment and do your best with it. You don't have forever.”

“But his client's a black-​hearted throne-​stealer!” I ex-​claimed, pointing at Aahz.

His scaly hand pointed directly at me. “His is a brain-​less party girl who fiddled while Foxe-​Swampburg fell apart!”

Bunny shook her head. “You know nothing's ever just black-​and-​white. Now, get going!”

With a fierce glare at me, Aahz stomped out. Guido gave us an apologetic shrug and followed him. Bunny looked up at me.

“You, too.” “But this is my office!” I protested.

She shook her head. “This is neutral territory, and it's going to stay that way until all this is over. Go with him, Nunzio.” She pointed toward the door.

“Yes, Boss,” he said. “I mean, Miss Bunny.” The Mob enforcer took my arm. “C'mon. You know there's no argu-​ing with her when she's being organized. We'll go see what Chumley's scared up.”

With a groan, I went.

Myth 18 - MythChief

EIGHTEEN

“Hey, Aahz, good to see you.” The Geek, a snappily dressed Deveel, started to stick out a hand, then thought better of it when he glanced up at Tananda and Guido. unobtrusively holding up the wall. He sat down in his upholstered office chair and waved us to a couple of seats. “[ don't owe you any money that I know of.”

“Not to me,” I agreed, after a quick shuffle through my memory. No sense in letting a debt slide if there was one. but there wasn't. The walk through the Bazaar had cleared my head. I'd deal with the concept of Skeeve's working directly against me later. “I'm here with a business propo-​sition for you. You'll thank me for thinking of you first.” The Deveel shook his head.

“It means you think I'm the biggest sucker you could think of, you mean.” the Geek said.

“Now, how can you say that?” I asked, mellowing my voice out to the smoothest consistency I could.

“I know how Perverts think.”

“That's Per-​vect!” I corrected him with a snarl, then moderated my tone. You could catch more dragons with meat than a punch in the snout, I reasoned.

“Who's your friend?” the Geek asked.

“I'd like you to meet Matfany,” I said, ushering the Swamp Fox forward to shake hands. “Prime minister of Foxe-​Swampburg. Nice guy. Runs everything. This is the Geek.”

“You run everything, huh?” the Geek asked, with a grin.

Matfany gave him an uneasy look up and down. “I guess so,” he said. “Right glad to meet you, sir. It's an honor.” He gave a courtly bow. The guy seemed to have an inexhaust-​ible supply.

The Geek eyed him suspiciously. “Is this a put-​on?”

“They have manners in Foxe-​Swampburg,” I said. “Not like here. Listen, I didn't bring this guy here so you can insult him. He's got something for you you've never had beforebrand recognition.”

“You want to apply hot iron to my posterior, or some-​one else's? Not interested, Aahz.”

“Not that kind of brand,” I said. “The Geek brand. I want to set it up so that when people see your name, they auto-​matically think of your style, your business savvy.”

The Geek looked even more suspicious.

“And what is going to make people think I'm savvy and stylish?”

“When they see your name associated with a great place like Foxe-​Swampburg.”

“Foxe-​Swampburg? Wasn't that the dimension that got hit with that insect plague about two years ago? I heard the place is a desertculturally speaking.”

I should have known he would have heard all about it. Well, when you can't hide something, minimize it. I shrugged.

“Just a hiatus. They like to think of it as a chance to clear out the old public-​relations material and come up with something new. That's why they want to align them-​selves with notable businesspeople such as you.”

The Geek sighed and rested his chin against his fist. “I presume this is gonna cost me money. So, what do I get for it?”

“Naming rights,” I said, proudly. “Landmarks with your name on them. Anyone who sees them will think of you as a Deveel of importance. You get your choice of any prominent location in Foxe-​Swampburg: mountains, rivers, beaches, buildings. Anything you wantfirst come, first served, of course. That's why I brought Matfany here before anywhere else. We are offering you, and nobody but you, first crack.”

“Naming rights?” The Geek looked thoughtful. “I dunno, Aahz.” “What's the problem? You get to be famous.”

“I've already got all the recognition I can handle. But in a tourist spot, which as you admit hasn't been much of a tourist spot lately? I don't want to be associated with insect hordes and bad food.”

Matfany glowered at him. “Sir, our food is the top-​rated by Dragon Rotay and the Witchelin Guide. We've got five four-​star restaurants and four five-​star restaurants.”

“Yeah yeah,” the Geek said, dismissively waving a hand. “Until some rival restauranteur sticks a cockroach in the canapes. And what about those bugs?”

I snorted. “The bug problem's under control. It's still a beauty spot. Everyone knows it's spawned a million cheap oil paintings. And you could have your name all over it. Think of it. Geek's Peak. Geek Lake! Geekville! It's only limited by the level of your imaginationand your invest-​ment.” I whipped out the portfolio from my inside pocket and unrolled the map, full-​color with magikal three-​dimensional images, that we had bought from one of the waterfront shops. In spite of himself, the Geek looked in-​trigued. "The longest white-​sand beach in any civilized dimension. Crystal blue waters. Even the fish are friendly.

Picturesque cliffs. Rivers. Canyons. And all a wagon's ride from the center of town which, as my pal just