Her Secret, His Child: A Little Secret Tara Quinn (fiction novels to read txt) 📖

he was sure she'd been enjoying the kiss as much as he had. What had he done wrong?

When he asked, she answered his question with a shrug, looking small and alone as she huddled in on herself. He wanted to go to her, but not knowing what had upset her, he didn't dare get close. Instead, he stood there, waiting.

"I don't blame you for being angry," she finally said.

Taking off his glasses, Kyle rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Okay, that's good to know," he said. "Now, do you mind telling me what I'm angry about?"

Jamie turned, glanced at him hesitantly, then sank on one arm of the couch. ' 'You know—'' she gestured between them. "That—stopping—wasn't very… nice."

"I'd hoped there was a lot more than 'nice' going on between us." Kyle moved over to her slowly, took her hand, led her to a seat beside him on the couch. "I think it's time we talked, don't you?"

Her gaze flew to his, her eyes filled with fear. Kyle bit back a groan of frustration. What had he done to bring that look to her face?

In that instant, another, horrifying, thought occurred to him. Could her reaction be something unrelated to him altogether? Had someone forced her—

' 'Talk about what?'' Her voice sounded strained.

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"About why you don't want to share any kind of physical intimacy."

She'd been wearing jeans and sweaters all week. Today's jeans were black, the sweater a striking shade of gray that matched her eyes almost perfectly. He'd been fantasizing about getting his hands under that sweater the entire day. He almost wished he hadn't tried.

"We need to talk about it, Jamie," he said gently when she remained silent and still beside him.

"I…can't."

He hoped his suspicion was completely ludicrous. "I'll help you, honey, but we have to get this out."

Again she answered him silently, this time with an adamant shake of her head.

Dropping his glasses on the coffee table, Kyle continued to hold her hand. His mind continued to process possibilities—all of them untenable.

' 'Did something happen to you after I knew you five years ago?'' he asked carefully. ' 'Something to make you afraid of sexual relationships?" He strained to keep his voice calm as he asked the question; he could do nothing to control the churning inside him.

"No."

Thank God. He almost fainted with relief.

' 'Then does it have anything to do with that time we were together?''

She didn't respond. Just sat there. He took that for a yes. Okay, so he'd narrowed down the problem. It was him.

"Because we slept together the first night we

HER SECRET, HIS CHILD

met?" He'd known all along he'd made a mistake there.

"Sort of." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

He'd do whatever was necessary to take that trapped, frightened expression off her face. Except walk away. He just didn't believe that was the answer. For any of them.

"But we've done it right this time, Jamie." He couldn't undo the past; he could only spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her. "We've taken the time to get to know each other, to be sure that what we feel is more than passing lust."

She nodded agreement. But the haunted look in her eyes hadn't dimmed.

Kyle could feel the promise of their future slipping away and didn't know how to hang on, what to grab hold of. "Can you tell me what you're feeling?"

She laughed bitterly. "Like I'd give anything for a little dose of self-respect."

Stabbed by her words, Kyle had nothing to say. He'd been an idiot not to realize the far-reaching consequences of what he'd done that night. How humiliating Jamie must have found those ensuing months, pregnant, unmarried, alone. Thinking that he'd used her and then cavalierly paid for the privilege.

"I'm sorry isn't enough," he told her. He didn't know what was, but honesty was all he had. ' 'What I did five years ago, making love to you, it wasn't premeditated. I wasn't using you, Jamie. Or if I was,

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I didn't do it on purpose." He stopped, remembering. "I—I thought we were starting a relationship."

He couldn't tolerate her silence. "I'd never have touched you if I'd realized I was stripping you of your self-respect."

'"You didn't do that, Kyle." Her words were hard, uttered in a voice he hardly recognized. "I did."

"No." He knew the kind of woman who destroyed her own self-respect. Jamie wasn't that kind of woman. "I took advantage of the situation."

"And I enjoyed it."

Although he wished she sounded a little happier about that, Kyle's heart still gave a pleased little lift. He'd begun to think he was the only one with incredible memories of their night together. Memories that meant nothing if she didn't share them.

So he'd just have to help her see that night as it had been. And he knew right where to start. By telling her what she wasn't. What their lovemaking wasn't. He was an authority on both.

"You remember my telling you about my mother?''

Jamie nodded, giving his hand a little squeeze. "She'd just died. And you hated yourself for not being able to love her."

Kyle nodded, bile rising in his throat as the memories overwhelmed him. He'd never told her exactly why he hated his mother. He'd never told anyone…

"My first experience with sex…" He paused, wondering if he really wanted to do this. ' 'I walked in on my mother—stark naked on my bed—with two men doing her."

HER SECRET, HIS CHILD

He couldn't look at Jamie. Couldn't stand to see the horror—or the pity—in her eyes. Couldn't stand the fact that he'd come from such a woman. That he might very well be the product of an act like the one he'd just described.

The hand in his tightened, offering compassion.

"I was seven years old."

Jamie swore softly. Was silent. Then swore again.

Kyle's feelings exactly.

"Did she know you were there?"

Kyle shook his head. As far as he was aware, she'd never known. "Guess she was having too damn much fun."

"Did she look like she