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and brief down his thick as fuck legs. I kiss a trail from his mouth, down his neck and onto his chest while I wrap my hand around his dick, and start stroking him.

“Babe” he moans on an exhale. I kiss my way further down to his chest, to his tight as hell abs. I sink to my knees and look up at him. There are so many emotions playing out on his face right now and although I can tell that he’s struggling with this because he’s used to hard and fast sex, I want to show him that there were different ways to love someone and it makes me feel powerful as fuck to take charge and show him something different. That isn’t always about the rush or the adrenaline. I want him to know what being intimate feels like. “Don’t look at me like that Sina, please” he whispers.

I wrap my hand around his dick and I start licking the crown. “Shit” he moans. I kiss the head with my tongue then I slowly wrap my lips around him “Fuck, babe you’re going to make me come if you don’t stop” he says like it’s hurting him. I start sucking hard, I want him to know how turned on I am and how much he affects me too. He grabs my hair and wraps it around his hand ashe starts pushing his dick deep in my throat “Fuck yeah Babe, just like that,” he grunts between pants. I open wider for him and grab both sides of his legs to steady myself as I start sucking him harder and harder. I feel him swell in my mouth and my jaw is starting to get sore, but I don’t stop. I’m too turned on to care. “Sina, if you don’t stop I’m going to come in that pretty mouth of yours'' he moans. I could if i wanted to but, but I want all of him in my mouth. I want to taste him on my tongue. “Sina, fuck please stop” he moans as I keep sucking him until I feel his warm come squirting in my mouth, running down my throat. And I make sure I swallow all of him and lean back on my heels to wipe at the corners of my mouth with my thumb.

“Shit” Eli says out of breath. I can see he’s still hard so I grab his hand and move him to the nearest chair and push him down. “Baby, I want to taste you” he begs. I shake my head and bite my. I want to ride him. He swallows hard and says, “You’re so beautiful.”

I climb on top of him and line his dick up with my centre as he kisses me on the mouth. I lower myself onto him and he swallows my moan with his tongue.

“Fuck Sina, you’re so tight” he groans. I start moving and he grabs on to my hips finding my rhythm and moving with me. I feel myself getting ready to come as he wraps his lips around my nipples and sucks it into his mouth. I don’t stop riding him, the sounds of your skin bouncing off each other filling the office.I slide off him so just the tip is left inside me and slam back down. “Fuck!” he growls. “Babe, you’re going to make me come again,” he moans, but I don’t stop. I fucking him hard, using his shoulders to brace myself as I work his dick over. “Shit, Sina, please” he grinds out from between clenched teeth, grabbing my hips extra tight. I feel myself tightening around him as he grows inside of me. “Babe, I’m coming, fuck, fuck I’m coming” He hisses as he loses the tension in his body and slumps forward to lean his head on my shoulder.

I wind my arms around his neck and grind myself against him. “Fuck, Eli I’m about to come” I moan into his ear.

“Come with me Baby, come, come for me Sina” he whispers.

I hold onto him because I know this is my goodbye to him, goodbye to the love that could have been us, goodbye to the past that I have been holding on to.

I know Eli feels it too because he holds me tighter and whispers, “I’m so damn sorry”

“I forgive you Eli,” I cry into his shoulder. I feel his tears burning on my skin and I know he's crying with me. I move back and grab his face, kissing him gently on the lips and say, “Find your happiness.” I place a gentle kiss on his forehead as I get up and grab my clothes. I can feel him watching me as I get dressed and don’t bother fixing my hair because I’m sure Reese and Leila know exactly what’s been going on. I felt more at peace with myself than I had walking into Lei’s office. This happened on my terms, under my control, for me.

I walk to the door and as I reach for the handle I hear Eli whisper, “Please don’t leave me.” But I know that he just isn’t built for a real relationship and I’m not built for casual. He isn’t ready for commitment yet, so I unlock the door and leave a piece of my heart with him.

Chapter Eighteen

Eli

She makes me feel things that I’ve never felt before. I know she loves me because she showed me when she made love to me. It was in the way she looked into my soul as she rode me, the intimacy of her being on her knees for me. I hate that she knows I’m not ready for commitment and I fall even more in love with her because she doesn’t force anything on me. So she made it easier for me by leaving with my heart ripped out. I knew as she walked away from me, that she owned every part of

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