Rocky Mountain Dreams & Family on the Range Danica Favorite (warren buffett book recommendations .txt) 📖

At least the old Joseph was back. Even under the weight of her father’s stare, she couldn’t ask Joseph to remove his hand. Someone cared for her. Someone understood how awful this whole situation was, and how she’d never meant for any of it to happen.

“Yes, she did,” Annabelle said softly. “And I know I deserved it, I just...”

Her throat felt raw and ached like she was coming down with something. But it wasn’t that. That she knew, even without a doctor. “I guess I see why they say an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. I was hurting, so I let the harsh words take over, which led to Polly hurting, and then she needed to be mean to me.”

Annabelle removed her hand from Joseph’s and picked up another potato and began peeling. “I suppose it’ll eventually wear itself out.”

Her father stood and motioned to Gertie, who followed him out of sight of the tents. Probably more discussion over how to solve the problem of Annabelle.

Joseph picked up a potato. “Why is Polly so upset with you?”

“Because.” Annabelle sighed. There was so much to the story that Joseph didn’t understand. That no one understood. Because the one person to whom she’d bared her soul was gone.

“I was in love once. With a miner. I thought Henry a good man, and he helped with my family’s ministry. But then the sickness hit over the winter, and Henry wanted to leave. He wanted to avoid getting sick, and besides, there was gold in Alaska.”

She set another potato in the pot, trying to focus on the task at hand so her heart didn’t ache the way it always did when she remembered how selfish Henry had been. “I was needed at home to care for my family. He promised to wait. But then Polly came to see me. Told me he’d left without saying goodbye. I called her a liar.”

Her knife got caught in the potato, and Joseph took it from her. “Let me do that. You just focus on the story.”

“There is no more.” She sucked in a deep breath as she turned to look over the fire. It should have been warm, only all she felt was cold inside. “I asked why she would deliberately hurt me with such lies when she knew how I was hurting already. I’d already watched as they’d taken Susannah’s and Peter’s bodies out to the icehouse to be kept until the ground was thawed enough to bury them. I couldn’t imagine why Henry would abandon me at such a time, so Polly must’ve been lying.”

The fire popped, and Annabelle jumped, bringing her attention back to Joseph. “Turns out, Polly was telling the truth. I believed in a scoundrel over my dearest friend.”

“Your dearest friend should have understood.”

Annabelle reached for another potato and began peeling again. “Maybe. But I hurt her, and I shouldn’t have.”

“Even if Polly was hurt by your words,” Joseph said quietly, “she had no right to speak to you like that. Or even to tell lies about you.”

She looked up at him. Why did he have to be so wrong for her? “Thank you.” She finished the last potato and brushed off her skirt. “I wish...”

No, she couldn’t say what she wished. She wished too many things that would never come true.

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter.” She turned her head, wishing she could stand and get away from the closeness of this man who confused her so.

“It does matter. And I...” Joseph looked in the direction her father had gone, then back at her. “Annabelle, your father has asked me to get something straight with you. As a gentleman, I need to be sure that I don’t dishonor you in any way.”

Not another proposal. Annabelle’s heart fluttered in the pit of her stomach. If he asked, she’d almost say yes. Except the retelling of her story reminded her just how little she knew of Joseph. She’d known Henry far longer, had known him to be honorable, and been betrayed.

“Your father is concerned that you might have...feelings...for me.” His shoulders rose and fell as he glanced again in the direction her father had taken Gertie. “I assured him that we were merely friends, but he felt it necessary to clarify my intentions.”

If a person could die of mortification, she’d do so right at this very moment. How could her father be so...so... Annabelle sighed. She did have feelings for Joseph. But they weren’t the sort a person ever acted upon.

Joseph cleared his throat. “You know my situation. I have a brother and sisters to care for back home. I intend to move them west somewhere, but I can’t promise anything to anyone. All I know is that my duty lies with them. I can’t be a proper husband to any woman knowing that I have seven others to provide for.”

He looked at her with such tenderness, it made her heart want to break. “If I were to take a wife, I would want her to be every bit as bold and strong as you. But I can’t. It’s impossible for me to marry. Not when I have the children to raise. It’s an impossible burden to put on anyone.”

He had said as much before. Yet this time, it made her heart ache in an unfamiliar way. “Of course your family must come first,” she said, hoping it sounded sympathetic to his cause. It wasn’t as though she wanted him for herself.

Joseph’s slow nod only made her feel worse. “Good. So then we have an understanding. Your father will be much relieved to know that your heart isn’t entangled.”

She forced a smile to her face, not caring if he saw through it or not. Over Joseph’s shoulder, she could see her father and Gertie returning. For all they saw, it was a perfectly amiable conversation that wasn’t creating strange feelings in her stomach. She was fine. Just fine. Or at least she would be once