The Heretic Wind: The Life of Mary Tudor, Queen of England Judith Arnopp (best books to read in your 20s .txt) 📖

on mine. “I only regret I havefailed to give him the thing he wants the most … another son.”

She blinksaway tears, smiling blithely through her sadness, and I think how pretty sheis, and how very, very young to have already despaired of a child. Perhaps Fatheris too old, perhaps he cannot manage … I thrust the indelicate thought away andpoint to the blue.

“The blue willbe the best choice, Your Majesty, mark my words.”

Later, when I ambrought the news that she is under house arrest, and being questioned foradultery and treason against the king, I remember her fevered conversation, hersense of failure, and understand it.

 St James’ Palace – October 1558

“It was an awful time. Worse, farworse than when they took Boleyn. Katherine was just a silly girl, but she was freeof malice … free of any common sense too, it seems.”

Susan and Anneare seated at the side of my bed. When my conversation palls, they sit up andexchange sorry looks. It is Susan who speaks first.

“I recall itwell, Your Majesty. It was a hard time yet … oh, you are right, she was a sillygirl.”

Susan shakesher head, her eyes rueful.

“… And myfather was a fool for thinking a child such as Katherine could ever truly lovean old man.”

“Yes,” Susannods. “He married her for love when he could have made a diplomatic match. A foreignbride of noble blood would never have acted in such a way…”

I frown intothe past, and find it a dark, chilling place.

“Yet Katherinewas of Howard stock, her pedigree was flawless … we only discovered afterwards thather upbringing was wanting.”

“It wasshocking. I had known she was silly but never thought her unchaste. It showshow deceiving a pretty face can be. Her grandmother, the dowager duchess,should have lost her head for leaving such a young girl to her own devices.”

They never discovereduntil afterwards that the household Katherine was raised in was rife with sinand Katherine exposed to it from infancy. It is no wonder she had no idea ofhow to behave.

 “As forCulpepper, I hope the enjoyment of his queen’s body was worth the price he paidfor it.”

I sniff, andAnne’s surreptitious movements suggest she is wiping away a tear. I grope forher fingers.

“Let that be alesson, my girl. Your sins will out.”

She snatchesher hand away.

“I doubt Iwill ever marry a king, let alone betray one, Your Majesty.”

“A woman mustbe faithful to her marriage whether she be wed to king or commoner, and don’tyou forget that.”

“But, itdoesn’t work the other way around.” Susan has risen and is folding linen awayinto a clothes press. “A man can be as faithless as he wishes, and a wife hasno right to even remark on it.”

I laugh. “Youwere well rid of your husband, Susan, but for all his infidelity you did wellfrom the match. I am sure you have no regrets.”

“Well,” shereturns slowly to the bed. “Not now, Your Majesty, but it wasn’t easy at thetime.” She turns to Anne. “You must pick carefully, child, when the time comes.If you can’t love him, look to his wealth. There are more comforts to be foundin a fat purse than in the matrimonial bed.”

Anne blushesscarlet. I slap at Susan’s hand.

“Don’t teaseher,” I laugh, but the humour turns into a cough. My eyes water, my chest wheezes.

They haul meupright on the pillows and rub my back until the attack passes. When I amrecovered enough to speak, I hang on to Susan’s sleeve.

“Is there newsyet of Jane? Has she returned from Hatfield?”

“She returnedthis morning. When she has refreshed herself, she will attend Your Majesty. Ican send for her sooner, if you prefer…”

“No, no. I canwait. Let her rest. It is not long since she recovered from the fever and shewill be fatigued from the journey.”

Not as tiredas I am, of course. I am sure there is no one on Earth as exhausted as I. JaneDormer is young enough to still have hopes of finding romance, and I havestalled more than one of her relationships in the selfish need to keep her atmy side. But I encouraged this latest attachment with Philip’s friend, the Dukeof Feria, although that marriage too has been delayed. I must remember to giveher my blessing when he returns to England, before it is too late for them.

I hope all ofmy women will find happiness after I am gone, but it is hard to accept thatlife will continue after my death. I cannot imagine the world without me beingpart of it. The people of England will forget me, and some will even sigh withrelief when I breathe my last.

I begin tospeak but pain gripes in my belly again and my words become a groan. Susan’shead shoots up.

“Are you ill, YourMajesty, shall I call the physician?”

“What wouldthat serve? There is no cure for death.”

“But he canease you, help you to sleep…”

I wave heraway.

“I am tired ofsleeping. I have just a short time left on Earth and there are things I shoulddo, stories I must share.”

Yet, I do feeltired, and when I sleep I feel the people of the past are here with me; peoplewho understood what it was like to live in those dangerous, dark days before Iwas queen.

“WhenKatherine was sent to the Tower, Father sent me to stay with Edward. I neversaw her again.”

I speakthrough my teeth, chasing the present hurt away with memories of a more painfultime. “After that, the king was never the same. He sank into a deep woe andeven after he married my final stepmother, another Katherine – Lady Latimer –he was never the man, or the king, he had been before.

“He knew thatChristendom was laughing at him, do you see? No man can hold his head highwhile the world mocks him, my father least of all. But Katherine Parr … shechanged things. She tried to pick up the pieces of our broken, tainted familyand put us all back together. It worked … for a while, we thought we were wholeagain…”

Hampton Court – July 1543-45

The king is looking old. He canno longer walk far without the arm of his servants to aid him,